


Missing Yoo

by Marksgasoline



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: 2YEON - Freeform, F/F, NaJeong, chaetzu, eventual samo, hinted dajeong, hinted mihyun, hinted nahyo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2020-10-11 15:22:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 50,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20548364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marksgasoline/pseuds/Marksgasoline
Summary: Please ignore my really awful title“You don’t get to decide that for me! I love you, Jeongyeon. I care more about you that I do my stupid debut.” She was almost yelling now.“Then I’m deciding for me,” Jeongyeon said firmly, but she choked out the rest. “Please leave.”Jeongyeon gets into an accident that leaves her nearly paralyzed and hospital bound for about three months right as Nayeon is about to reach her childhood dreams of debuting as an idol. Rather than risking Nayeon's happiness, Jeongyeon sacrifices her own.





	1. The Right Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea came to me as I got a creative spark to start writing again and I'm not wasting my creativity anymore. So I'm trying to work on this slowly between my job, depression, and creative outbursts. Be patient with me, I will continue to update it, it just might not be regularly. I have the first 3 chapters written though.  
So enjoy so really angsty 2yeon, because that's everyone's favourite!  
First chapter is short, the next one's wont be as short.

Jeongyeon laid on the hospital bed. She knew she had to do this, as much as she didn’t want to, it was for the best. Nayeon sat next to her, talking about her day at the studio. She was set to debut in a few weeks now. Nayeon debuting both made Jeongyeon the happiest and the saddest she’s ever been. She was thrilled her girlfriend was finally reaching her dreams of becoming an idol, but she could see the stress in her eyes as well. Nayeon hasn’t slept since Jeongyeon’s accident. When she wasn’t at the hospital by Jeongyeon’s side, she was training and getting ready for her debut. 

Nayeon contemplated asking to push the date back, but Jeongyeon told her no. That’s when she knew she had to do this. The thought crossed her mind a few times the past few weeks that she was bed ridden, but she pushed it aside for her own selfish reasons. That was until Nayeon started showing signs of stress and exhaustion and said she wanted to push back her debut date so that she could stay with her girlfriend more as she healed. Nayeon hated leaving her side. There were days Jeongyeon had to make her leave. Either Jeongyeon or the nurses on duty. Some nurses would let Nayeon stay past visitation hours, some even let her stay the night. But when it came time to train or go to the studio, Jeongyeon almost wishes she could physically push Nayeon out the door. But she couldn’t. It’s only been two weeks since her accident, and while she’s made some progress, most of it was just healing and she still couldn’t walk. 

“Nayeon we need to talk,” Jeongyeon said. She was lost in her own thoughts for so long she didn’t know if she interrupted Nayeon or not. Nayeon didn’t seem to mind, she knew it had to be serious, so she stopped talking and looked over at her girlfriend. Jeongyeon didn’t want to do this. She could feel the lump in her throat, but she forced it down and knew it was for the best. She couldn’t be selfish anymore. 

“What about?”

“I can’t do this anymore.” It’s all she could muster out.

“I know it’s hard, babe. But the doctors all have said it takes time. And you’re making progress already! I’m so proud of you.” Nayeon grabbed Jeongyeon’s good hand and caressed the top on it with her thumb. This killed Jeongyeon inside. 

“Not this. Us.” Her words were quiet and short. If she said too much, the tears would fall. She focused on her breathing.

“What?” Nayeon’s eyes went wide. She couldn’t have heard her correctly.

“Us. I can’t-”

“Jeongyeon, what are you talking about?” Nayeon’s voice grew louder and she started to stand up, still holding Jeongyeon’s hand.

“I’m distracting you from your debut.”

“You’re being ridiculous is what you’re doing.” Nayeon fought back, tears swelling the edges of her eyes. She dropped her hand.

“Nayeon, you already tried to push back the date-” she choked back a sob. “I don’t want to be the reason you don’t debut.”

“I’m going to debut when I’m ready, and if I need to push it back because I want to be with my girlfriend while she heals, then I will, that’s my choice, Jeongyeon.”

“You can’t push back your dream because of me, I feel guilty enough as it is, Nayeon.”

“You don’t get to decide that for me! I love you, Jeongyeon. I care more about you that I do my stupid debut.” She was almost yelling now.

“Then I’m deciding for me,” Jeongyeon said firmly, but she choked out the rest. “Please leave.” Her head fell to the side, letting her hair cover her face so Nayeon couldn’t see the tears she tried so hard to gold back.

“At least look at me when you’re going to dump me.” Nayeon spit out. Jeongyeon didn’t look up. “You know what, when you heal and leave this place, and you regret this, don’t come back to me. I don’t ever want to see you again, Yoo Jeongyeon.”

Jeongyeon could hear her storm out the door and she broke down in sobs.

It was for the best. She couldn’t be the reason Nayeon didn’t debut. Everything in Nayeon’s life was perfect until her accident. She couldn’t be the one to ruin everything for her. So instead she would suffer. She already couldn’t walk or feel her left side too well, what was heartbreak on top of that?  
Nurse Dahyun stood outside the door. She heard it all as she was on her way to check on Jeongyeon’s vitals. When Nayeon stormed by, she hardly noticed her standing there. She stormed past, tears filling her eyes and anger filling her steps. She couldn’t blame her, but she couldn’t blame Jeongyeon either. She’s gotten to know both of them the past few weeks, overhearing some of their stories, seeing how much they cared for one another.   
She didn’t want to, but she had to go in and check on Jeongyeon and give her her medication. She gave her a few minutes before knocking on the door and entering.

“Medicine time,” she said with a forced smile.

Jeongyeon didn’t reply, she just sat up as much as her body would allow. It hurt, but she could hardly feel it. She was numb now.

After she checked the machines, wrote down what she needed, and gave Jeongyeon her medicine, Dahyun stopped. Usually, she was very peppy, trying to keep things positive, it could have been annoying, but she was so good at it that it normally helped Jeongyeon. Not today. Dahyun had no joy to bring, feeling the sadness in the room. Instead, today, she grabbed Jeongyeon’s hand like she was going to check her pulse and instead just held it. She didn’t say a word, but Jeongyeon knew what she wanted to say. 

She left the room after that and Jeongyeon laid there quietly the rest of the night. Falling in and out of consciousness, but never fully sleeping. The meds did their job, taking away the pain she should have felt, while making her groggy and tired. But her numb state refused to let her succumb to sleep. 

“I made the right choice,” she repeated to herself. “It’s for the better.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I know it was short, the next few chapters aren't as short, I just wanted the first chapter to be a intro to the story since my summary sucks. I hope you enjoyed it! please leave a review :) Also follow me on twitter to watch me scream about twice, khan, and other groups I love. @Marksgasoline  
I have a less angsty more fluffy 2yeon one shot on my page as well if you want to recover from this.


	2. Pain is Progress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read the first chapter and is continuing to read it now. It means a lot to see support on something I'm creating. It's been awhile since I've felt comfortable with my writing. So thank you to everyone who is reading this, and a special thank you to everyone who's left kudos and comments :)  
This chapter is a bit longer and delves more into the plot.  
I didn't say it in the last chapter, but please know I am not a doctor nor an idol and I know for a fact that I'm not being 100% accurate to things, but I'm also very lazy and don't want to spend most of my time researching, so I'm making it as accurate as I think it can be.

Days went by much quieter than usual. Jeongyeon was used to Nayeon being there most of the day, but now it just seemed empty. She hadn’t checked her phone since that night, afraid she’d let her selfishness come back and she’d call Nayeon. She missed her. She missed everything about her. But it was for the better, she just had to keep repeating that to herself. Nayeon’s life would be better without her in it. That’s all she wanted. If Nayeon was happy, then she’d be happy too. Eventually. 

Nurse Dahyun came in more than usual, sometimes to check everything, sometimes pretending to check things. Jeongyeon knew she must have overheard, but she couldn’t say she minded all that much. The company was nice. Other than Nayeon, not many friends came by. They were all busy. Mina was away on tour and Chaeyoung stopped by when she could, but now that her art was in galleries, she was constantly busy. She didn’t blame them, she knew they were busy and had lives. They called and visited when they could. She probably had some missed messages on her phone, but she was still too scared to check her phone. 

Dahyun stepped in the room for her morning check.

“Good morning, Jeongyeon. How are we feeling today?” She was back to her chipper self, trying to bring some happiness into the room filled with sadness. She opened the curtains and let the sun shine in.

Jeongyeon didn’t answer much. Mostly just nodded when she needed to. The quietness was interrupted by the TV as the news came on.

“JYP’s soon-to-be idol is catching a lot of attention lately,” The news anchor said. Nayeon’s face popped up on screen. Jeongyeon’s breath caught in her chest. “Some say they haven’t seen her leave the studio in days, rumoring that she has been sleeping there, working on her debut song. Is JYP Entertainment overworking their trainees? Or is she demanding the staff to stay-”

“I need to listen to your lungs today, so I need to turn the TV off,” Dahyun said. She turned off the TV as more pictures of Nayeon appeared. Dahyun fiddled with her stethoscope. She didn’t have to listen to her lungs, but she could see the look on Jeongyeon’s face when her ex girlfriend came on the screen. She could see in her heart monitor how much she missed her. She didn’t need to see these stories right now.

Jeongyeon didn’t mind. She didn’t have the strength, both literally and figuratively, to turn the TV off her self. She missed her. When the TV was off, she finally let the air out of her lungs she didn’t realize she was holding in.

Dahyun finished her morning check, including listening to her lungs, even though she didn’t have to. She then picked up Jeongyeon’s hand and held it in hers. Jeongyeon smiled at her, as if to say “thank you”. Dahyun understood. 

“Everything seems to be on track. You’re healing quite well, Miss Yoo. Think you’re up for some physical therapy today?” She kept her hand on the injured girls, keeping a comforting grip.

Jeongyeon just nodded. 

“Alright, I’ll contact the doctor and come let you know when she’s ready.” Dahyun started to leave the room.

“Thank you,” Jeongyeon said. It was quiet. She hadn’t used her voice much in the past week, and all the crying had done a number on her throat. But Dahyun heard it, and she knew it wasn’t meant for the physical therapy scheduling. She smiled back at Jeongyeon before leaving the room.

Xx

“Alright, Miss Yoo, we’re going to start off easy right now.” Jeongyeon sat in the wheelchair, listening to her physical trainers orders. 

To be honest, she was scared. She wished Nayeon could be there with her, to hold her hand and comfort her. What if she couldn’t do it? What if she could never walk again? If Nayeon were here, she’d know what to say, to give her hope and comfort her. But she couldn’t think that way. It was for the better. She couldn’t distract Nayeon from her dream. And if she couldn’t do this, if she couldn’t walk again, it would only add more stress to Nayeon’s life, stress that she didn’t need. Especially if she’s being overworked at the studio.

“We’re going to see how your legs feel with some minor movement. We’re not going to try walking right away. Is that okay?” Dr. Hong asked.

Jeongyeon nodded.

Dr. Hong bent down and very gingerly grabbed Jeongyeon’s right leg. “Tell me if it hurts and I’ll stop.” She lifted it up from the rest on the wheelchair and slowly stretched it out. As it got closer to being fully stretched out and straight, Jeongyeon winced in pain. She stopped. “Does this hurt?” She kept her leg where it was.

Jeongyeon nodded.

“Okay, that’s good actually. You can bend it further than I anticipated.” She smiled at Jeongyeon. “I want to try lifting it as well, is that okay?”

Jeongyeon nodded.

She did the same thing, slowly lifting it from the legrest. She didn’t get far before Jeongyeon winced again, this time with a small yelp of pain.

The next hour went by similarly, with Dr. Hong testing out her movement with both legs. Moving them was difficult and discouraged Jeongyeon, but according to Dr. Hong, it was progress and showed potential.

“Remember, pain means that you have feeling in your legs, which is good. As sucky as it is, we want you to feel pain at first.” Dr. Hong brought Jeongyeon back up to her room and helped her onto the bed. “We can try this every day if you’d like, but we’ll see how you’re feeling in the morning first. Pain is progress, but we don’t want too much of it.”

Jeongyeon nodded as she left. Her legs hurt. Her back hurt. But nothing compared to the pain in her chest as she turned on the TV and Nayeon’s face was there again. 

“Less than a month left before her debut and rumors are already starting with JYPE’s newest idol to be,” the news flashed more pictures, taken from awful angles, showing her leaving the building at night. The time stamp on the camera said 1:35am. “Nayeon keeping staff working late into the night. Is the stress of debuting getting to her?” The TV cut to commercial.

Jeongyeon wanted to throw something at the TV. She didn’t know if it was because she saw Nayeon or because of the way they were talking about her. They didn’t know her and they were already criticizing her. Was this her fault? Was Nayeon stress working to cope with the break-up?

She wanted to call her. She reached for her phone and unlocked it, ignoring the missed texts and calls. She went to her contacts and found her name. ‘Nayeon my love’. Her finger hovered over her name. She broke down into sobs. She threw her phone across her bed and it bounced off onto the floor, sliding towards the door. 

Just then, Nurse Dahyun came in. She saw the phone and looked at Jeongyeon, who was crying into her hands. She picked up the phone and saw the contact on the screen as the TV came back on. 

“Will she make it to debut, or will she call it quits? New JYP idol-to-be Nayeon-” Dahyun clicked the TV off and went over to Jeongyeon’s bed. She sat on the edge of it and placed her hand on Jeongyeon’s leg.

“How was your first physical therapy? I heard you’re already showing signs of progress, that’s great!” Dahyun didn’t know what to say. It must be obvious that she knows what happened, but she didn’t want to say it outloud. So she became the easy distraction.

Jeongyeon didn’t answer, but she looked at her nurse and the corners of her mouth lifted just enough to show the smallest smile. She placed her hand on top of Dahyun’s. Dahyun smiled at her and wiped a tear away from Jeongyeon’s eye with her free hand.

“It’s so hard,” Jeongyeon said.

“I know.” Dahyun knew she didn’t mean the physical therapy. She didn’t know what else to say, so she just stayed quiet. When Jeongyeon was ready to talk, she’d be there. She didn’t know why, she of course was comforting to all her patients, but Jeongyeon was different. She had gone through so much, and seeing the break-up, seeing this girl in such a vulnerable state, she felt the need to stay with her. And Jeongyeon appreciated it.

Xx

Nayeon was at the studio again, finishing up recording for her last song on her debut album. Finishing what should have been finished days ago, weeks ago really, but Nayeon insisted on re-recording everything with only two weeks left until her debut. 

She spent every waking moment either at the studio or in the practice room. She hardly slept and you could tell. She was hardly eating anymore, only when someone would stop her and make her. She filled the emptiness in her heart with her debut.

“Miss Im, that was great, I think we’re all set,” one of the staff members said through his mic. Nayeon shook her head.

“No, one more, I think it can be better!”

“Miss Im, really, this is perfect, you can’t get any better.”

“I can!” She fixed her headphones. “I can!” She kept repeating herself. “I can do better!”

The staff member reluctantly pressed record and started up the music for her to go again. While Nayeon sang, someone came into the studio and pressed stop. 

“Go home guys, I’ll take care of her. I’ve been in her position, I’ll handle it.”

“Thank you, Miss Park” They bowed to her and left.

“What? Was that not good? I can do better!” Nayeon looked confused at the stopped music.

“Nayeon, come in here.” Nayeon recognized the voice but couldn’t put a face to it, and the glass was too dark for her to see through. 

“No, just one more, I can do it, I promise!” She was near tears but she refused to let them fall.

“Alright then I’m coming in there.” A few seconds passed and Nayeon was shocked when Park Jihyo stepped in the room. THE Park Jihyo. The biggest solo artist in Korea right now.

Nayeon bowed, making the headphones fall off of her head and hit the music stand, knocking the papers off. “I’m sorry.” She picked up the papers, shuffling them back on the stand. “I’m sorry.”

“Nayeon, relax.” Jihyo helped her with the papers. “You’re overworking yourself.”

“No, I just need this to be perfect. I can do it, I can-”

“Nayeon-”

“It has to be perfect-”

“Nayeon stop.” Jihyo grabbed her shoulders. “I’ve been in your shoes, I remember the pressure of debuting, but this is a little too far, don’t you think?” Nayeon stopped and looked at the senior artist. “They’re already making up rumors.”

“What?” Nayeon’s shoulders slumped. “I haven’t even debuted yet.”

“Exactly, you’re overworking yourself. You’re overworking the staff.”

“I just need this to be perfect,” she said softly. 

“It will be,” Jihyo squeezed her shoulders as if to reassure her.

“This is all I have left.” Nayeon looked down, finally relaxing a little. 

“What do you mean?” Jihyo asked.

“Jeongyeon-I-my girlfriend, well, my ex-girlfriend, she got into an accident, she can’t walk, she’s going through a lot. She dumped me. She said she didn’t want me to not debut because of her. She-” Nayeon started breaking. The tears were falling, the tears she’s held in for a week now. 

“Shhh” Jihyo pulled her close to her, hugging her. “Come, sit, we can talk.” She pulled her to the floor over by the wall and they sat. “What happened?”

“Back when I got the news I was going to debut, my girlfriend, Jeongyeon, she was driving, and I called her to tell her. She wanted to come pick me up for dinner to congratulate me. On her way, someone ran a red light and hit her car. It flipped. They had to get her out upside down. I rushed to the hospital as soon as I found out. She was in surgery when I got there, and when I finally got to see her and she woke up, her first words were “I'm sorry”. She blamed herself. But it was my fault. I should have just told her when I got home, but I was so excited. She wouldn’t have turned around and been on that road when the person hit her. It’s my fault.”

“Nayeon, it’s not your fault,” Jihyo held her hand. “You didn’t run the red light.”

“But if I had just waited to tell her-”

“You can’t feel guilty because you wanted to share the good news with your girlfriend.”

“I spent every day with her in the hospital. The doctors said she may be able to walk again with physical therapy, but she still needed time to heal from her other injuries. I started skipping practice and recording sessions. I didn’t want to leave her side.”

“You should’ve talked to PD-nim to push back your debut, he would have understood.”

“I wanted to, but she told me no. She said she couldn’t be the reason I didn’t debut. She she broke up with me.” Nayeon fell apart again. “I need this debut to be perfect. It’s all I have left now. It’s what she did this for. I can’t let her down again. I’m already the reason she’s in the hospital, I have to make this perfect for her.”

Jihyo didn’t know how to respond. It was a lot. No wonder she was throwing her all into work. “It is perfect. But Nayeon, you’re overdoing it. You need rest. You need to eat. Your debut will be perfect, but you need to relax.”

“If I stop, all I do is think about her. I miss her, Jihyo-I’m sorry, Miss Park.”

“Call me Jihyo.”

“I miss her Jihyo. I miss her so much,” Nayeon sobbed. Jihyo rubbed her hand. 

“I want to call her, but I told her to never speak to me again. I told her I never want to see her again. I was angry.”

“It’s understandable.”

“I just want to hear her voice one last time,” she leaned into Jihyo’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for all of this. You probably just came to get me out of the studio so everyone could go home.”

“No, you clearly need to get all of this off your chest. But yes, I am going to get you out of the studio. Let’s go get drinks, yeah?” She stood up and held her hand out for Nayeon to take.

Nayeon nodded and grabbed her hand. “Wow, I’m going out with  _ the _ Park Jihyo and I just spent the last twenty minutes crying on her shoulder.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! We're slowly starting to meet all the girls, it'll take some time though, so sorry to all the samomichaetzu stans. They will be in this, as will some ships.  
Please comment and feel free to check out my twitter to watch me scream about their comeback tomorrow! @marksgasoline


	3. The Day of Nayeon's Debut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you @sleep_fics for the idea of dajeong causing rukus in the hospital, I definitely added some in to this chapter and I plan on adding more, because you're right, it's very wholesome (which this fic needs).  
Thank you everyone else who is reading this and leaving comments or kudus <3 ily all

**Chapter 3**

  
  


The day of Nayeon’s debut finally approached. She didn’t know how she felt. Jihyo was backstage waiting for her. The two of them have been close the past few weeks. Nayeon was really thankful to Jihyo for helping her through everything going on in her life, but especially for just being there when she most needed someone. Nayeon did great on her song, she didn’t miss a step, and her voice was flawless. It couldn’t have been better, except that it could. She watched the audience and though it was filled with many faces and fans, the one she wanted most wasn’t there. Not that it would be, she was still in the hospital as far as Nayeon knew. She hid her pain and heartbreak with her idol face, and was given a huge applause as she finished. 

She made it backstage finally and caught sight of Jihyo. 

“You did great, Nayeon. I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you, Jihyo.” Her smile was gone now that she didn’t have to fake it. This wasn’t how she wanted her debut to be like. She always imagined it, ever since she was a kid. It was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. She would fall asleep at night picturing it. She would spend hours telling Jeongyeon all about it, and Jeongyeon, everytime, promised to be right up front cheering her on. 

“She would be proud of you,” Jihyo said, rubbing the back of Nayeon’s head, pulling her in for a hug. 

Xx

Jeongyeon’s physical therapy continued day after day. After a week, Jeongyeon was at least standing, with help, out of her wheelchair by herself. She still couldn’t walk, but this was a huge step forward.

“You’re making great progress, Jeongyeon. You should be able to walk again by the end of the month if you keep this progress up.” Dr. Hong was beaming for Jeongyeon. She couldn’t help it, even Jeongyeon cracked a smile. Saying that she’d be able to walk again was huge. She didn’t think it would be possible, yet here she was, standing, and with something to lean on, she was making her first steps again within another week. She took her first step by herself and only the railings to hold on to, that Monday. 

Dr. Hong was thrilled. Jeongyeon was thrilled. When she made it back to her room, she instantly grabbed her phone ready to call Nayeon and tell her the good news. Then she remembered. She locked her phone, again, ignoring the many mixed texts and calls. As she locked it, she noticed a message that caught her attention. 

_ NAYEON DEBUTS!!! _

It was a reminder she set in her phone the day she found out. The day of her accident. Anxiously, she turned on the TV. Just then, Dahyun came in. 

“It’s like you have a sixth sense for this,” Jeongyeon said. She was finally talking more. She felt close with Dahyun. 

“I know she debuts today, you want me to watch it with you?” She sat on the end of Jeongyeon’s bed. 

Jeongyeon nodded and reached to pull her closer. “Thank you,” Jeongyeon said as Dahyun squished next to her. “For everything.”

Dahyun just playfully slapped her arm, “ah, it’s nothing, just doing my job, you know, keeping you alive and all.”

Jeongyeon rolled her eyes. “No, I mean, just being here with me.”

Dahyun smiled. “Hey, I heard you took a step today,” she said changing the subject.

“I did.” She couldn’t help but smile back. 

“I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you.” Jeongyeon thought about it. She was happy, she was finally close to walking again. But the one person she wanted most to share this achievement with, wasn’t there, and wouldn’t be. She wouldn’t see her accomplishment because Jeongyeon pushed her away. Pushed her out the door.

“She would be proud of you too,” Dahyun said, holding her hand, as if she had read Jeongyeon’s mind.

The TV interrupted them as Nayeon was on their screen, the music picking up as she started to dance and sing.

“Wow, she’s really pretty.” Dahyun was in awe.

“Yeah, she really is.” It was hard to watch. Every other time Nayeon was on screen, Dahyun would show up and turn off the TV, or Jeongyeon would. She hasn’t really watched her or seen her since they broke up. But she made a promise to Nayeon that she would watch her debut. And though she couldn’t be front row like she said, she would at least watch her from her hospital bed. 

“Want some ice cream?” Dahyun asked as her show ended.

“What?”

“I want some ice cream. I’m gonna get us some.” Dahyun got up. “Come with me.”

“Oh sure, let me just walk on down there.”

“You took a step today, you’re a master walker now,” Dahyun joked. She unfolded her wheelchair and brought it over to the side of her bed. 

“Isn’t the cafeteria closed?” Jeongyeon asked, shifting her weight and getting into her wheelchair. It was like second nature at this point climbing into that thing. Whenever Dahyun had free time or a lack of patients, she’d get Jeongyeon’s wheelchair and the two of them would roam the hallways, sometimes causing more trouble than they should of. One day last week, the two of them found an empty hallway and had a race. Dahyun won and Jeongyeon still argues that she should have gotten a head start since she was crippled. Dahyun was too competitive to agree though.

“Eh? Whatever, I work here, let’s get ice cream.”

They made their way down the hallway, Dahyun climbing onto Jeongyeon’s lap as they entered the elevator. Jeongyeon shoved her off as the reached the floor with the cafeteria. 

“Get off me,” she joked. “Lazy.”

Dahyun scrunched her nose and pushed her to the locked doors. “Hey, you get to sit all day, I’m always pushing you around. Once you start walking more, I hope you repay me and push me around.”

“Oh, I’ll push you around alright,” Jeongyeon turned to face Dahyun and smiled smugly.

Dahyun took out her keycard and opened up the cafeteria doors. All the lights were off, except for the dim moonlight through the windows. Dahyun walked over to the freezer in the kitchen and stole a tub of ice cream and two spoons. It was more than half empty anyway, they had unopened ones behind it, the kitchen staff wouldn’t miss it. 

“She was really good,” Jeongyeon said suddenly as they made their way to a table by the window. She looked out at the night sky. The moon was bright and the stars were just starting to peek through.

“She was. She really belongs up on that stage.” Dahyun watched Jeongyeon as she stared at the moon.

Jeongyeon nodded, still not looking away from the moon. “She always has. I’m glad I didn’t hold her back anymore.” She said it quietly, almost to herself, but Dahyun heard her.

“Jeongyeon-” She stopped. They haven’t really talked about this. They went from Dahyun comforting her in silence, to slowly Jeongyeon talking to her, to cracking jokes to distract her. Never about Nayeon. Never this much. “Jeongyeon, you weren’t-”

“She wouldn’t have debuted. She wanted to cancel it for me. I couldn’t have that,” She looked away from the window and at Dahyun. “She’s dreamed of this for years. Since she was a kid. I couldn’t be the one to take away her dream.”

Dahyun couldn’t understand it. Well, in a way she could, but she couldn’t. She seemed so in love with Nayeon, and she understood that she felt guilty about holding her back, but shouldn’t it have been up to Nayeon? She wouldn’t say that though. So she just let Jeongyeon get it off her chest. She hasn’t spoken about that night since it happened. She hasn’t even seen Jeongyeon talk to anyone but her. Unless she did when she wasn’t there, but she doubted it. She even started picking up extra shifts just to be with Jeongyeon. 

“I miss her though. Seeing her on that stage, I’m so happy for her, but it kills me that I can’t be there with her. I just wish I never drove down that street. I shouldn’t have in the first place. I was on my way to pick her up. It was the day she found out she was going to debut, she called me and told me the news and I instantly turned around to go pick her up for dinner. I was halfway there when I decided I wanted to get her flowers, so I turned around and took the first side street to get to the flower shop. It was through the lights right before the shop that someone blew through a red light and hit me. I think my car flipped, I can’t really remember. I just remember waking up here, after surgery I think. Nayeon was there. She was crying. I felt so bad. This was supposed to be a good day for her, she just found out she was going to debut and I ruined it.”

The two of them stayed in silence for a moment. Dahyun, twirling her spoon around the big tub. She didn’t know how to respond, she didn’t think she needed to. Jeongyeon clearly needed to vent, so she was just going to listen. 

“When she started skipping rehearsals and talking about pushing back her debut, I felt so guilty. I couldn’t be the reason she gave up on her dream. Who knew then if I’d be walking again, or how long this recovery would take. I mean, I still don’t know, and it’s been over a month. I’ve only taken one step, I’m still bed-ridden, I still need you to help me even just bathe.” She tried to laugh it off, but her throat hurt from holding in so many tears. She’s cried enough in front of Dahyun, she didn’t want to anymore. She didn’t even know why she was laying all of this out right now to her. She just wanted to get her ice cream and now Jeongyeon was sharing her sob story with her. 

“Nayeon would have just kept pushing back her debut until she either was told she couldn’t debut, or she’d quit on my behalf. I couldn’t have that. I couldn’t live with that. And as much as it pains me to not be with her anymore, I know eventually her happiness will outweigh my sadness.” 

“But how do you know she’s happy without you?” Dahyun didn’t mean to ask that outloud, but it was too late.

Jeongyeon thought for a moment. “I-I don’t.” It’s all she could say. “I-I don’t...I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“No, you’re right, either way I’m selfish. If I kept her, I’d be selfish, but forcing her to go was for my own selfish reasons too I guess.”

“It’s not selfish,” Dahyun tried to comfort her.

“Isn’t it? I pushed her away because I couldn’t live with her not debuting because of me.” Slowly, the tears started to fall. She couldn’t hold them back anymore or she’d choke. 

“Jeongyeon, you did what anyone in your position would have thought about doing as well. You made the hardest decision, but you’re doing it for her. You’re right, that would have been a hard thing to live with, but ultimately, it’s up to Nayeon too.”

“I pushed her away.” She choked on another sob. “I don’t even know if I regret it. I just miss her. I miss her so much, Dahyun.”

Dahyun just held her hand. At this point, their ice cream was melted into ice cream soup.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to do this to you. It seems like you’re always picking up my broken pieces.”

“It’s my job,” Dahyun smiled and wiped away a tear from her eye. 

“I’m sorry I talked too much too and our ice cream melted.” They both laughed, Jeongyeon coughing out a mix of a laugh and a sob. 

“It’s okay, I like it better like this anyway.” Dahyun picked the tub and took a sip of the ice cream soup. 

“You have a mustache now,” Jeongyeon laughed and leaned forward to wipe it away with her thumb. 

“I should get you back to your room before they come looking for us,” Dahyun got up.

Xx

Nayeon was exhausted. She was exhausted before her debut, but now, between all her schedules and everything else, she was beyond exhausted. There wasn’t a word to describe how tired and drained she was. She was getting maybe four hours of sleep a night, if she was lucky. Constant schedules kept her from eating full meals. She napped whenever she had even 10 minutes to herself, only to be jolted awake by her managers telling her what was next. The only good thing about it all was that she had so little down time that she hardly had time to think about Jeongyeon. 

Tonight, she had her debut party at JYP. She was told she could invite her friends, but all of her friends were Jeongyeon’s friends as well and she didn’t know who knew and who didn’t. She hadn’t been very vocal about their break-up. She actually hasn’t been on social media at all since it all happened, nor has she really answered any messages from them, mainly because of her busy schedule, but also because she just didn’t want to talk. She answered the congrats messages, but that was about it. She ignored Chaeyoung’s phone call the night of her debut, messaging her later with a quick apology and thanks for calling. She didn’t know if Jeongyeon had talked to any of them either. She unlocked her phone and opened up her personal twitter and instagram. Neither had anything new on Jeongyeon’s accounts. Her instagram still had her last two uploads as selfies of the two of them. She tried to not linger on them and quickly closed the apps. She saved facebook for last. She’s avoided it for the past month and a half. Not that she ever went on much to begin with. Her profile still said in a relationship. Jeongyeon was still her friend. She clicked on Jeongyeon’s name. There were a few posts on her wall.

_ Please answer my texts, Jeongyeon. I’m worried about you. I love you~ _

_ I hope you’re recovering well. I miss you  _ ** _ㅠㅠ_ **

_ Get well soon, Jeong~ _

_ Unnie, I hope you recover well and rest! Take it easy~ _

Most were from their friends, but the one at the top stuck out most to Nayeon. It was Mina, Jeongyeon’s roommate. She hadn’t been answering her texts? Other than Nayeon, Jeongyeon went to Mina with everything. She knew Mina was away on tour with her ballet right now, but wouldn’t that make Jeongyeon want to talk to her more? Being so far away. They were best friends since Mina moved here in highschool. Mina even went on their first date with her, she tried to stay behind and not be noticeable, just to be there in case Jeongyeon needed an escape. Nayeon thought it was cute. 

Why wasn’t Jeongyeon answering her texts? Was she avoiding everything as much as Nayeon? That’s stupid, she’s the one who pushed her out. Shes’ the one who ended it. Why would she care?

Nayeon locked her phone and shoved it back into her pocket and walked into the room Jihyo told her to meet her in.

“Congrats!” Everyone yelled as she walked in. Balloons were floating, streamers were falling from the ceiling, and a big cake was on the table in front of her. She couldn’t help but smile. She really did it. She debuted and made it through her first week of promotions. 

“Thank you, everyone,” Nayeon said, grabbing a glass of champagne from the table in front of her. “Thank you, Jihyo.” She mouthed to her friend across the room. She recognized most people in the room, her managers, a few staff members, though not the ones she made stay late to re-record her songs over and over again, she didn’t think she’d see them again anytime soon. A few JYP trainees she conversed with over the years, as well as JYP idols helped fill the room more. It wasn’t too busy, but enough people were there to help her celebrate. She only wished she could celebrate with her close friends, but they were either overseas or busy and she didn’t want to have to talk about everything.

She spotted two girls she trained with for two years, who debuted last year as a duo. She remembered how much the two would flirt with one another, and she wondered if anything ever came from it. She hoped something did, for their sake, but also to help prove that maybe love does still exist. She was having a tough time believing that as of late. The two made their way over.

“Nayeon-unnie!” The blonde one yelled. She was always so loud and happy, it made Nayeon smile. She hadn’t seen them since their debut.

“Sana, Momo,,” Nayeon greeted them with a hug. “How are you?”

“We’re so happy for you!” She missed Sana’s bubbly personality. “Congrats!”

“Thank you, I still can’t believe I did it,” Nayeon replied.

“I can! You trained for so long, you’ve worked harder than anyone else I’ve seen here,” Momo said. “I mean, you were here for what, two years before we got here? You totally deserve this, it’s been long overdue!”

“Yeah, I remember always seeing you stay super late, I mean, did you ever even sleep?” Sana asked jokingly. 

Nayeon smacked her arm with a chuckle. “I’ve missed you guys.”

“We’ve missed you too, Nayeon!”

“How’s debut life been for you two? It’s been almost a year now, right?” Nayeon took a sip of her champagne and followed the two girls to the couch in the corner. Nayeon sat in the chair across from the two of them on the couch. She took another sip as she sat down. It felt good to sit and know she didn’t have to get back up for awhile. 

“We hit our 300 days on Sunday,” Momo answered.

“That’s incredible! I’m so happy for you two.” She genuinely was. She trained with Sana and Momo for a few years before getting to watch them debut. Originally Momo was a backup dancer, but she was scouted and brought in where she met Sana who had just come from overseas. The two of them hit it off instantly, both being from Japan, they confided in each other when one of them felt homesick. They were like each others home away from home. It was only fitting that they debut together.

“It’s been a wild ride, especially that first month,” Sana answered. “It’s like an emotional rollercoaster. One minute you’re climbing up, everything is perfect, you’re performing, people are screaming for you. Then the next you start seeing all the hate and the pressure. It’s overwhelming at times.” Momo grabbed Sana’s hand as she was talking and interlocked their fingers. 

“Don’t scare her, Sana,” Momo joked. 

“No, I totally get it. It’s been one hell of a roller coaster for me this week. Thankfully the packed schedule keeps me from dwelling too much on the descent part.” Nayeon took another sip.

“I didn’t mean to bring down the mood, this is a happy time for you!” Sana looked a little guilty.

“Yeah, believe us, there can be tough times, but it’s truly amazing to be an idol.” Momo looked at Sana and smiled. It was that pure happiness smile Nayeon hasn’t felt or seen in so long. She took another sip of her drink.

“You two seem really happy,” Nayeon pointed out.

“I don’t know how I could have managed some of this without Momo by my side every step of the way. She’s become my rock.” Sana leaned into Momo’s side and Momo kissed the top of her head. 

Nayeon didn’t realize how much she had already drank of her champagne until she tried to take another sip and nothing but a little drop fell out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think. Things are slowly getting more angsty, so be prepared.  
Follow me on twitter for my daily annoying tweets @marksgasoline I also have a curious cat, @marksgasoline


	4. One drink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for all the positive responses to this story, it really means a lot to me and keeps me writing, so thank you. Anyway, this chapter is a bit shorter and only Nayeon POV, so hopefully ya'll enjoy :)

“Momo, Sana! Let’s go out!” Nayeon finished another sip of what was now her fourth drink, her words weren’t slurred in her mind, but as they left her mouth, they started to sound a little mixed up. 

“Nayeon, don’t you have schedules tomorrow?” Momo asked. Her debut party was just about over, the only people who were still there were Jihyo, who was talking to a manager, Momo, and Sana. Everyone else had started leaving about an hour ago, as it was nearing midnight.

“I’m fine, let’s go! I don’t want to stop the party, you only debut once right?!” Nayeon was almost yelling and Sana and Momo had to grab her hands to make her quiet down.

“We can’t, Nayeon, we have to go. You should too. Get some sleep, you look exhausted.” Sana said, still holding her hand. 

“Ugh, fine, be the old ladies that you are.”

“Nayeon, you’re older than us,” Sana laughed.

“Well it sure doesn’t seem it. I’m going out and enjoying tonight!” Nayeon shook her hand free and chugged the remaining champagne in her glass. “Jihyo!” She spun around on her heels and almost fell over if it wasn’t for Momo catching her. “Jihyo! Let’s go out! These two are boring, they don’t want to go.” She turned back and looked at Momo who was holding her up. She pouted at the younger girl and stuck her tongue out.

Jihyo looked up from her conversation, her eyes squinted, trying to assess the drunk girl she’s recently gotten close to. Sana, from behind Nayeon, just shrugged. Jihyo nodded and said something to the manager and walked over to Nayeon, Sana, and Momo. “Nayeon, I think you’ve had enough for tonight, you really should get some sleep. I’ll take you back,” She said to the older, drunk girl, who was still leaning on Momo for support. 

“We told her that too, she’s had quite a few glasses tonight.” Sana took the empty glass from Nayeon’s hands.

“Hey, I’m fine, let’s go out, I don’t want this night to end. I’m happy.” Nayeon looked at Jihyo, standing up on her own out of Momo’s arms. For the first time tonight, she looked completely sober. “Jihyo, I’m happy. I want to go out.” Sana and Momo exchanged confused glances. They were obviously missing something, but they didn’t want to ask.

“I’ve got her, guys. You can go back, I know you have a show tomorrow, go back home, go get some rest. Make sure you drink water before bed.” Jihyo took Nayeon’s hands, looking at the blonde and brunette. 

“Oh, you have a show! You didn’t tell me!” Nayeon tried to turn around, but Jihyo held her steady. “Jihyo, we should go! We should support them! They deserve it! They’re so good, Jihyo, have you heard them? Sana, Momo, you guys are so good!” Nayeon was back to slurring her words as they came out too fast for mouth to catch up. She was nearly jumping in Jihyo’s grasp. 

Sana and Momo just smiled. “Thank you, Nayeon. But it’s just a taping, you don’t have to go. Plus, you have schedules of your own. Thank you for your support, though.” Momo patted her shoulder, hoping to calm her down. 

“Yeah, thank you Nayeon. Now go get some sleep,” Sana said. She looked at Jihyo, “Take care of her, yeah?”

“I’ve got her girls, promise. On her behalf, thank you for coming tonight. I think it meant a lot to her.” As they left, Momo gave Nayeon a kiss on her head and Sana hugged her, kissing her cheek. 

“Congrats, Nayeon, again. We’ll talk soon, okay?” Sana and Momo left and now it was just Jihyo and Nayeon, and Nayeon’s manager in the back of the room, picking up.

“I’m so happy they came. I’m so happy for them. Jihyo, do you think they’re together? I think they are. They kept holding hands all night, and Momo kissed Sana’s head. I mean, she did with me too, but it was different with Sana. They looked so happy together. The way Sana would look at Momo, it’s like how I would look at Jeongyeon.” She stopped abruptly in the middle of her ramble. “Jeongyeon.” She said it in a whisper to herself, or so she thought. “Jihyo, I want to go out. Let’s go to a bar.” She looked back up at her friend. 

Jihyo was right. She was so happy all night seeing Nayeon have such a great time after seeing her so distraught the past few weeks. That was until she saw how drunk she was. She let herself too loose. Was she really happy tonight or was she just drinking to numb the pain? “Nayeon, we should get you back to your place. It’s getting late and your manager said you have an early fan meet tomorrow.”

“Jihyo, please. I’m finally happy. Just one drink, please,” she pleaded with the younger girl. “Please, come with me.”

“One drink,” Jihyo gave in. She went over to the manager, helping her throw a few things out, explaining that she’ll bring Nayeon back to her place and thanking him for the night. She bowed and led Nayeon out of the room. They walked to the closest bar. It wasn’t too far. They sat in the back corner, where it was a little quieter than the rest of the bar, and more hidden from the crowd.

“Momo and Sana are so cute together. They use to flirt all the time back when we were trainees. Did you ever notice that? You trained with us for a little right? Before you debuted? I can’t believe we’re all idols now. It’s insane, right? Just a few years ago we were all trainees. I always dreamed of this.” Nayeon rambled on, sipping her beer.

Jihyo just nodded along until Nayeon paused. “Nayeon,” She started.

“Jihyo, thank you for always being with me. I know we kind of just met, and you have your own busy life. You said you’re preparing for a comeback soon right? That’s exciting!” She started rambling again, but Jihyo stopped her.

“Nayeon, what’s going on?” 

“What do you mean? I’m hanging out with you.”

“No, Nayeon, I mean, you’ve been secluding yourself so much, and now you’re wasted. You can’t get this drunk during promotions, I don’t even know why I let you convince me to bring you out here,” Jihyo quietly scolded herself, taking her hat off to run her hand through her hair before placing the hat back on her head, low enough to somewhat hide her face. They were in public after all.

“I need this, Jihyo. I finally feel like I’m celebrating my accomplishment. I need the distraction.” Nayeon put her bottle down. “I’ve been so busy lately, I don’t even have time to think about what’s happening. Even thinking of the happy things like debuting. Because as soon as I allow myself to be happy, it comes crashing down. I start thinking about how she’s not here. About how it’s my fault she’s in the hospital to begin with. It all revolves around my debut. So I can’t even be happy because it only just brings more pain.” She didn’t know when the tears started to fall, but she was wiping them away now. “I want to be so angry with her. She’s ruined my debut. But I can’t. I just miss her.”

Jihyo placed her hands on top of Nayeon’s as she went to reach for her drink again, stopping her. 

“Nayeon,” She didn’t really know what to say and she was kind of glad when Nayeon interrupted her.

“Don’t. I know already. Just let me be sad, I’ve had enough happiness tonight, it’s what I deserve.”

“That’s not true, Nayeon. You don’t deserve this.” Jihyo felt like crying with her. “Nayeon, I’ve really only known you for a few weeks now, but from what I’ve seen, and what you’ve told me, you don’t deserve the pain she’s caused you. I remember seeing you in training. You’ve worked so hard for this debut, and you deserve to celebrate it and be happy. She’s missing out.”

“Thank you, Jihyo.” She squeezed Jihyo’s hands that were on top of hers. “Can you take me home now?”

Jihyo nodded and smiled at her friend. “Let’s go, Nayeon.”

Jihyo took her home, Nayeon leaning into Jihyo’s side, Jihyo’s arm wrapped around her for both comfort and support. She kissed the top of her head as they got to Nayeon’s place. 

“Do you want me to stay with you?” Jihyo asked.

“No, you’ve done enough tonight. Go home and rest too, Jihyo. I promise I’ll be okay.” She sounded more sober already.

“Drink water before bed and get some rest.” Jihyo hugged her goodbye.

“I will.” Nayeon made her way inside. It was late and she would regret staying up this late in the morning. But she wasn’t done yet. She had some beer in her fridge calling her name. As she sat on her couch in her quiet apartment, she opened up her beer and took out her phone. She unlocked it and it was still on Jeongyeon’s profile. Nothing’s changed. 

Staring at her picture, Nayeon started to feel anger bubbling inside of her. “Why did you decide for me? I could have debuted and loved you.” She yelled at her phone. “You’ve ruined my debut. I can’t even be happy because of you. Why did you do this? Did you even love me?” Tears were falling now. She clicked on her own profile and saw ‘in a relationship’. She deleted it. “I just wanted to be there for you. Why couldn’t you let me?”

She went to her messages and saw Jeongyeon’s contact. 

_ Jeongyeonie, my life. _

She opened it and started typing a message.

_ I told you I’d debut. I did it. No thanks to you. So thanks. _

She hit send and locked her phone before she could type more. There was so much she wanted to say. How much she missed her. Was she healing well? Did she miss her too? But she didn’t allow herself to say or ask anything else. She went to the kitchen to have a glass of water like she promised Jihyo. She didn’t bother doing anything else though, she just went into her room and passed out.

She woke up to an influx of messages on her phone. She still had an hour left before her alarm would go off, but it was probably for the better she woke up now. She had a raging headache, her makeup was all over her face, she was still in her outfit from last night, and she desperately needed a shower. She checked her phone.

_ Dispatch dating news releases photos and Nayeon and Jihyo. _

She clicked the article.

_ Nayeon and Jihyo, both of JYP entertainment, seen together a lot recently. Always close, leaving the JYP studio late one night back before Nayeon’s debut. But most recently, the two were spotted leaving a bar late Friday night. Nayeon leaning into Jihyo, Jihyo kissing the newer idol on the head. Is this just a friendly gesture, or could there be more between the two, as Nayeon is already an out LGBT idol. Check the pictures and decide for yourself.  _

Below were pictures from back when Jihyo first met Nayeon at the studio, their few lunch cafe ‘dates’, and pictures from last night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger? Kinda?   
I've been writing more and I'm hopefully going to write a few chapters this weekend, which means (if I do) I"ll be updating again soon. I hate making everyone wait, but if I don't stay a few chapters ahead, I might slow down and then it'll be months before I update again. But I've been getting some inspiration and some ideas, which is nice for me, but tbh probably not nice for the story seeing as I only think in angst. So be prepared!  
Make sure to follow me on twitter @marksgasoline and feel free to visit my curious cat @marksgasoline to yell at me for the upcoming angst!  
Thanks again!


	5. When You're Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen to this while reading this chapter if you want extra emotions  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxLbNA6GHVw

It was late, but Jeongyeon couldn’t sleep. She had some pain in her leg and back that was keeping her up, as well as her own thoughts. She decided it was best to write her thoughts down for the first time since her accident. She always used song-writing as her own form of therapy, and tonight she finally had a lyric idea, which lead to more. She was able to get two outlines of songs written down when her phone went off. Who else was up this late and messaging her? 

Normally she’d just ignore it, as she had been. She felt guilty, she knew she had a lot of missed calls and messages from Mina. She was her best friend and she was away while all of this was going on and Jeongyeon just couldn’t find it in herself to talk to her, as much as she wished she could. She couldn’t worry her while she was away. Mina knew she was alive after the accident, and was healing. She kept contact at first. But now, she’d just break down on the phone with her and this was Mina’s first overseas tour with her ballet, she couldn’t drop everything on her while she was so far away. She’d be home in a few months and hopefully by then, Jeongyeon will have more control over her emotions and will be able to talk freely about everything with her best friend.

Chaeyoung too. Chaeyoung’s latest art piece was picked up by someone huge, (to be honest, Jeongyeon didn’t know who but knew that it was a huge deal to Chaeng) and so she was away and distracted with her own goals in life finally being reached. 

She felt awful always ignoring their messages. She read a few, but soon the guilt of ignoring them got to be too much, so now she was just letting them pile up. 

Tonight, though, when her phone went off, she picked it up. She didn’t know why. Maybe because it was so late, maybe because she was tired, maybe something else. Then she saw who it was from.

_ Nayeon my love _

She froze. 

After what felt like hours, she unlocked her phone and opened the message.

_ I told you I’d debut. I did it. No thanks to you. So thanks. _

She wanted to throw up. She didn’t know what to expect in this text, but part of her hoped it was an “I miss you” text. Or better yet “I still love you”. It was neither. It was the worst she could have gotten. Nayeon hated her. She no longer loved her, she hated her. She couldn’t blame her. It was her worst fears come to life. She broke that night, the tears didn’t stop until she wound up falling asleep. 

She woke up to Dahyun coming into the room.

“Hey, sleepy head,” Dahyun said. 

Jeongyeon didn’t reply. Memories from last night flooded into her mind. She frantically searched for her phone, desperate to know if it was true or just a dream. No, not a dream, a nightmare. 

When she found it, she froze. What if it was real?

“Hey, what’s up? You kinda look like shit this morning. Did you sleep well?” Dahyun sat on the edge of the bed. “You never look at your phone,” she pointed out.

Jeongyeon took a deep breath and unlocked her phone to find the message from Nayeon still open. She read it again.

_ I told you I’d debut. I did it. No thanks to you. So thanks. _

The words replayed over and over again in her head.

She didn’t realize she hadn’t taken another breath.

“Jeongyeon, hey, what’s wrong?” Dahyun leaned closer to her friend. “I can hear your heartbeat from here, what is it?” Dahyun was concerned, more as a friend for her friend than a nurse for her patient.

“Nayeon,” Jeongyeon said quietly. Her voice was hoarse. “She hates me.”

Dahyun slowly reached for Jeongyeon’s phone, giving time for her to pull away if she didn’t want her to see it. Jeongyeon released her grip, giving Dahyun the okay to take the phone.

Dahyun read it. She read it again. Maybe if she kept reading it, she’d find she’d words to say. She read it again.

“She hates me,” Jeongyeon repeated. “I don’t blame her, I hate me too.”

Dahyun finally looked up.

“I know I made her leave, but at least with no contact I could believe that she didn’t actually hate me. She hates me.” She wanted to cry again, but she cried all of her tears last night. 

Dahyun wanted to say something, but Jeongyeon’s phone vibrated in her hands and instinctively she looked down to see what it was. It was a twitter notification. 

_ Dispatch dating news releases photos and Nayeon and Jihyo. _

She froze. Nayeon and Jihyo? That couldn’t be her Nayeon. But there was no other idol named Nayeon that she knew of. 

“Is it her again?” Jeongyeon saw the look of panic on Dahyun’s face. “Dahyun?”

A nurse came in and interrupted, “Nurse Dahyun, we need you out here, please.”

She stood up and looked at Jeongyeon, then at Jeongyeon’s phone in her hand. She couldn’t let her see this then leave her alone, but another patient needed her, she couldn’t ignore her job. She placed Jeongyeon’s phone on the table next to the bed and left with a sigh. 

Jeongyeon picked up her phone. Nayeon already said enough. What else could she say to hurt Jeongyeon more? So she unlocked her phone to look at the notification. 

_ Dispatch dating news releases photos and Nayeon and Jihyo. _

She opened it before she could comprehend what she was doing. 

_ Nayeon and Jihyo, both of JYP entertainment, seen together a lot recently. Always close, leaving the JYP studio late one night back before Nayeon’s debut. But most recently, the two were spotted leaving a bar late Friday night. Nayeon leaning into Jihyo, Jihyo kissing the newer idol on the head. Is this just a friendly gesture, or could there be more between the two, as Nayeon is already an out LGBT idol. Check the pictures and decide for yourself.  _

She looked at the pictures. Nayeon looked happy in them. She curled into Jihyo’s side like she used to curl into her side. They looked perfect together. Nayeon deserved someone who would make her this happy. Jeongyeon only brought pain to Nayeon, she realized that with her text. Her text made more sense now. She had moved on.

Just then, her phone rang. It was Chaeyoung. She shouldn’t have, but she needed someone, so she answered.

“Hey Jeong, just calling again to see how you’re doing. I’d wish you’d answer-wait, Jeongyeon did you answer?” Chaeyoung’s voice cracked, instantly changing to excitement as she realized it wasn’t her voicemail.

“Hi, Chaeng, yeah, it’s me.” Jeongyeon’s voice was quiet.

“Oh my god, Jeongyeon, where have you been? Why have you been ignoring me? Are you okay?!” Chaeyoung’s voice went on and on with questions.

“I’m sorry,” was all Jeongyeon said in response. 

“Jeongyeon, really, where have you been? Why have you ignored all of my messages. Mina’s too. She calls me every day asking if I’ve heard from you. We’re worried about you. I’m so glad to hear your voice. We’ve tried calling Nayeon too, but she won’t answer either. I know she’s busy with her debut though. What’s going on?”

“I’m sorry, Chaeng.”

“Will you quit it with all the ‘sorrys’ and tell me what’s going on. You sound like you’ve been crying.” There was silence. “Jeong?” More silence, other than a quiet sob from the other end. “Jeong, are you crying?” Chaeyoung’s voice got softer and more concerned.

“I broke up with Nayeon.”

Now it was Chaeyoung’s turn to stay silent. “You what?” She asked after a while. 

“I broke up with Nayeon.”

“Jeongyeon, what happened?” Chaeyoung’s voice was even softer now.

“I told her to leave. I told her to pick her debut over me.”

“What do you mean pick?”

“She wanted to delay her debut because of me.”

“Can you blame her?” Chaeyoung asked. She was serious. 

“Chaeng, you’re not helping.” Jeongyeon rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“No, I’m serious, you’re in the hospital. You got into a serious car accident. Nayeon cares about you. She loves you. So what if she delayed her debut?”

“Not anymore,” Jeongyeon interrupted softly. 

“What?”

“Not anymore. She hates me. She basically told me so last night.” Jeongyeon replayed the words of Nayeon’s text over and over in her mind again. 

“Jeongyeon, I don’t know what you’re getting at, but I’m coming back home.” It was quick and not what Jeongyeon expected. 

“No.” Jeongyeon was louder than she’s been all morning. She sat up.

“What do you mean no? You need someone right now.” Chaeyoung argued back. “I’m not letting you sit in that hospital bed alone overthinking everything.”

“I have Dahyun.”

“Who’s Dahyun?” Chaeyoung asked confused.

“She’s my nurse. She’s helped me a lot. I don’t know what I’d do if it wasn’t for her being here.” Jeongyeon was serious, Dahyun has been the biggest rock in Jeongyeon’s life at the moment. She really didn’t know what’d she do without her, and not just because she was her nurse and helped in her recovery. 

“Well, I’m glad you have someone, but you could have had me and Mina too.” Chaeyoung’s voice was quiet again.

“I’m sorry, Chaeng.” Jeongyeon was. She felt so guilty ignoring her two best friends. 

“Why? Why did you ignore us?” Chaeyoung asked softly. Jeongyeon wasn’t sure if the younger girl was crying on the other end of the phone and it made her feel even worse if she was. It was her fault, as was everything else. She shouldn’t have ignored her best friends. 

“I couldn’t relive all of this. I couldn’t drop all of this on you guys. Both of you are fulfilling your dreams. Your art got picked up by someone huge and you have your own gallery in London, and Mina’s on tour. I couldn’t drop all of this on you. I knew you’d do this, I knew you’d try to come back home. You can’t drop your dreams because of me. It’s what I told Nayeon too. I can’t be the reason you guys don’t live out your dreams.”

“Well, Jeongyeon, you can’t break up with me or Mina, and you can’t choose what we do. I’m not dropping my dream to come home and see you. My gallery will still be here, I just won’t be.”

“Please, Chaeng,” Jeongyeon almost pleaded with a soft sadness in her voice. “I know you’ll be home in a few months, just stay. I can’t have you do this for me.”

“Stop, Jeongyeon. I love you. Mina loves you. Nayeon loves you. We want to be there for you. Be there  _ with _ you.”

“Nayeon loves Jihyo.”

“What?” Chaeyoung was shocked by the quick change of topic. “Jihyo? As in Park Jihyo?”

“They’re dating now.”

“What? How do you know that?”

“Dispatch released it this morning.” 

“And you believe that?” Chaeyoung wanted to laugh but held it in for the sake of her friend. “Jeong, you can’t seriously believe that? It’s all gossip!”

“Go look at the pictures, Chaeng. She looks at Jihyo the way she used to look at me. Jihyo holds her the way I used to. The way I still want to.” The last part was quiet, but Chaneyoung heard it anyway.

“Jeong, why did you make her leave if you still love her?”

“She was going to give up her dream, Chaeng! I can’t live with being the reason she didn’t debut. I’d rather be here and alone than see her giving up everything for me and regretting it.” Jeognyeon was almost yelling. “I miss her, yes. Every day I miss her and almost wish I didn’t push her away, but at least she’s happy right now and that’s all I want for her. I just want her to be happy and doing what she loves, and if she stayed with me, she would have given up on that dream. I can’t live with that, Chaeng. As long as she’s happy, I can live with it.” What started as Jeongyeon almost yelling turned into a soft whisper where she sounded more like she was trying to convince herself rather than Chaeyoung. 

“Jeong, I get it, I do, but did she ever say she was going to give up her dream for you?” Chaeyoung never beat around the bush, she was always blunt and asked the hard questions. This time was no different. She wasn’t letting Jeongyeon get away with thinking this way.

“She would have. She wanted to push back her debut date, and who know when I would start walking again, if I ever would.”

“Are you?

“Am I what?”

“Are you walking?” Chaeyoung both was curious for the sake of their argument and because this was the first time she’s spoken to her friend in over a month and she honestly had no idea how her recovery was going. 

“I took my first few steps this week...but I still need help getting around, and I can’t stand for too long. It’s a long process Chaeng, and who knew then if I’d even get to this point, never mind further along with recovery. Her company is tough, who knows if they would have even let her push back her date.”

“Stop with the ‘who knows’ questions. You don’t know because you didn’t want to take that chance.”

“Can you blame me, Chaeng?” She wasn’t angry, but she wished Chaeyoung would stop making her seem in the wrong. She did what she had to, and it sucked, but it was for the better. Nayeon was happy. That’s all that mattered.

“I’m just trying to understand, Jeong. I love you, you know that right?”

“Yeah,” Jeongyeon nodded even though the younger girl couldn’t see it. “I love you too, Chaeyoung.”

“I don’t agree with everything you did, and I wish I was home so I could smack some sense into you, but Jeong, know that I love you and I’m here for you. I will come home-”

“Please don’t, Chaeng. I love you too, but please stay and enjoy your gallery for as long as you can. You’ve earned this, you deserve this. I’ll be okay, I promise. I’m not alone.”

“Right, well tell Dahyun to take good care of you, because you deserve that.” She could hear Chaeyoung’s smile through her voice. “I love you, sweetie. I have to go. Please call Mina, she misses you and is really worried.”

“Yeah, I miss her too.”

“Please stop distancing yourself then.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry again, Chaeng.”

“I know. I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?”

“Yeah.” They said their goodbyes and Jeongyeon hung up. She didn’t want to admit it, but Chaeyoung was right. She’s been distancing herself and pushing everyone away. It was just easier to feel alone when she really was alone. It’s what she deserved. At least Nayeon was happy now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (the song at the top is the song Jeongyeon wrote)  
As always, thank you for reading :) Follow me on socials @marksgasoline


	6. Close Call

Nayeon avoided any questions at her fanmeet. Her company had denied all allegations and rumors of dating, but of course that didn’t stop it all. Fans online were saying it was just a cover-up because she’s a new idol and shouldn’t be dating. A few fans at her fansign tried to sneakily ask about it, asking where Jihyo was, if they were close friends, one asked if they were going to release a duet together. Nayeon just laughed along with them, replying in ways her managers told her too if the situation occurred. 

As she got back in the van on her way back home with the rest of the night free, she rubbed her eyes, not caring how much her makeup smudged. She was exhausted and the makeup burned her eyes. She couldn’t wait to take it all off and just lay on her couch and catch up on dramas. She opened her idol instagram and scrolled through the selfies she took throughout the week. She chose three from her party last night, the ones that were taken earlier in the night when she wasn’t as drunk. She posted it with the caption “Thank you for the great week, everyone~ We did it. Here’s to many years with you all by my side.” A few likes and comments popped up almost instantly.

_ So prettyyyyyy _

_ I can’t wait to see what else you do, Nayeon~ _

_ Let’s get her her first win already _

_ I love you _

She smiled at her fans. It was an amazing feeling to see all of them showering her with love and support. More comments flooded in. She spent most of the ride back home just reading the comments. 

_ Nayeon, you’re so gorgeous, i love you _

_ The most beautiful girl _

_ I love your song _

_ Thank you Nayeon! _

_ Are you dating Jihyo? _

She ignored all the Jihyo comments. She thought she should probably text her and see how she was doing with all of these rumors. She felt bad if it ruined her reputation. Nayeon was already out, she was out as a trainee, but Jihyo wasn’t. She didn’t even know if Jihyo was gay. This could really be hurting her reputation and so close to a comeback. She exited instagram and went to her messages and instinctively clicked the name on the top, as it was usually Jihyo.

As she started to type to her, she noticed it wasn’t their conversation. She looked up at the name and realized it was Jeongyeon. She read what she had sent her last night in her drunken state and audibly gasped.

“Everything okay back there, Miss Im?” Her manager asked from the front seat.

“Yes, sorry.” She bit her lip. Memories from the night before started flooding back, her drinking alone on her couch, scrolling through old memories of the once happy couple, and sending her this message. “Why did I do this?” She cursed herself quietly.

The read receipt showed that Jeongyeon saw it but didn’t reply. Of course she didn’t, Nayeon thought to herself. She pushed her out the door, why would she care about Nayeon now. She wondered if she had seen the dating rumors too and what she thought. Would she be jealous?

Before she could think anymore about it, she arrived back home. She cared more about getting the makeup off her face and comfy pajamas on than anything else. After a nice long shower, she would message Jihyo and worry about her conflicting emotions on drunk texting Jeongyeon. 

Xx

She knew she shouldn’t, but there was only one beer left in her fridge and she figured one couldn’t hurt while she caught up on tv shows. She got comfy on her couch, beer in hand, phone in the other. She opened up her messages to Jihyo and sent a quick one, not sure if she was busy or not. 

_ I’m sorry Dispatch started rumors about us, I’ll be less clingy so they don’t come up with anything else. I hope this doesn’t ruin your comeback announcement or our friendship. _

She really did feel bad, Jihyo was a good friend to her lately, and now their friendship is being turned into more on the internet. Of course she knew fans would ship her with other idols, it always happens. She actually used to joke with Jeongyeon that depending on who she was shipped with, she might leave her. It was always jokes though, she never thought she’d actually be without her. Yet here she was, alone on her couch, drinking for the second night in a row. 

She wondered what Jeongyeon was doing. How she was doing. She opened up her message to her from the night before. A sigh of guilt escaped her lips and she closed her eyes tightly to stop the tears.

“I hope you’re recovering well, Jeongie. I hope you’re walking and you’re not as sore,” she held her phone to her forehead, as if maybe if she said the words out loud, they’d transfer to Jeongyeon. “I know you were really worried about never being able to walk again, but I know you can do it sweetie. You’re so strong. I love you.” She choked out the last words. “I love you so much, Jeongie.” Her words came out as sobs now, almost echoing in her empty living room. “I miss you so much. Why did you make me go? Why did I let you make me go? I should have fought harder. I’m so sorry. I love you. I love you. I love you.” 

She took her phone away from her head, putting her drink on the table next to her, and wiped her tears. As she did, she noticed little dots bubbling in her message. Jeongyeon was typing. As quickly as she saw the dots, they went away. She stared at her phone waiting for them to reappear. A half hour passed, no dots came back, no message came through, but she was afraid to look away. Afraid she’d miss the message.

Her phone vibrated and her heart jumped. Jihyo’s name came up as a notification. She clicked it.

_ Don’t worry about it, Nayeon. This isn’t my first dating rumor scandal. You get used to them. It’ll blow over soon. Are you doing okay? _

Jihyo had like a sixth sense when it came to Nayeon’s emotions, but Nayeon didn’t want to worry Jihyo anymore. She’s picked up her broken pieces too many times. She was grateful for everything her friend has done, but she felt guilty for being a burden on her. She had her own life as well. One that was going to get busier in the next month.

Nayeon just replied with a few small pink heart emojis. 

Xx

Jeongyeon sat on her bed. Her physical therapy session ended an hour ago. Dahyun still hasn’t come back and it’s been awhile. She hoped the patient that she had to help with was okay.

She stared at her phone. She had gotten off the phone with Chaeyoung awhile ago and should probably call Mina, but she didn’t know what city she was in, what time it was there, or if she was performing. She knew they were excuses, but she was too nervous to call her if she was being honest. She didn’t want Mina to hate her for ignoring her for so long. So instead, she opened up Nayeon’s message again. 

_ I miss you _

She typed, instantly erasing it.

_ I still love you _

She typed again, erasing it right after.

_ I’m sorry _

Again, she erased her words.

_ I hope Jihyo makes you happy. You deserve happiness. _

Erased. 

_ I walked today. I was able to make it halfway across the room before I had to stop. _

She kept with the same pattern, writing something before instantly erasing it. Like maybe just typing it to her, Nayeon would see her messages. She knew she wouldn’t, but she couldn’t bring herself to actually send anything. Nayeon was with Jihyo now, she hated Jeongyeon. Why would she want to see these messages. 

She typed out one more before she erased it and locked her phone.

_ Congrats on your debut _

Dahyun had walked in as she put her phone down. She looked tired. Jeongyeon scooted over on her bed to make room for her friend to sit next to her. Instead she laid down and put her head on Jeongyeon’s shoulder.

“Is your patient okay?” Jeongyeon asked, scotting more to give her more room.

“He is now. It was kinda scary out there. I can’t share all the details, but it was a close call.”

“Are you okay?” Jeongyeon slid her arm under Dahyun and moved it up so she could have her arm around her shoulders and neck. 

Dahyun turned to face her, “yeah, I‘m just tired.” She stifled a yawn. “Are you okay?” She looked up at the older girl, her head still laying on her shoulder. “I’m sorry I left you earlier.”

“Don’t worry about it. You look exhausted.” She didn’t want to add more stress to her day, she looked like she already had enough. Her talk with Chaeyoung seemed to help a bit, just talking with one of her best friends that she hasn’t talked to in so long. 

Dahyun stifled another yawn, “yeah, it’s kinda been a long day, and I haven’t really been sleeping too well lately.” She closed her eyes and buried her head deeper into Jeongyeon’s side and shoulder. “Just need a power nap. 5 Minutes.” Her voice was muffled as she spoke into Jeongyeon’s side.

Jeongyeon pulled her closer and patted her head. “I’ll give you all day for all you’ve done for me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for my lack of updating, I'm hitting a slump, but I'm determined to get over it and continue this story, so it may take some time, but bare with me! Thank you as always to everyone reading and supporting this AU :)  
follow me on socials @marksgasoline


	7. Nurses shouldn't Fall for Patients

“Tzuyu, I know you’re filming and you’re busy, and I know it’s probably late where you are, but I need to talk to you, so this might be a long voicemail. I don’t know what to do...I think I’m falling for one of my patients. I know, I know, a nurse shouldn’t date her patient, don’t scold me like last time. It’s not like last time though, she’s different. She’s so kind and sweet, and she has this little smirk when she smiles. And when she pouts, her lips just look so kissable. She does this little nose scrunch too, and her laugh, Tzu, her laugh is so cute. It’s so pure and genuine. I could listen to her laugh for the rest of my life. And she’s so strong and brave. She’s relearning how to walk after a bad accident, and honestly, if I were her, I probably would have given up already, but she keeps pushing, she keeps going, and she’s already made so much progress. It’s amazing how far she’s come. She is so strong pushing through this.

But here’s the thing, Tzu, here’s the kicker. She’s in love with someone else. She had a girlfriend, and they were so cute together, I saw them a few times together in the hospital. She was so pretty and she would look at her with so much love in her eyes, like she was her entire world. But she let her go. She, well I probably shouldn’t tell you who or names or anything, I mean there’s laws against it, and her girlfriend, well ex now I guess, she’s kinda famous, so I shouldn’t use names. She kinda dumped her. I know, you’re probably thinking, ‘well if she dumped her how can she still be in love with her?’ But it’s really complicated and she is. So much. She put her ex’s happiness before her own but she still loves her, and it’s starting to kill me inside. 

It started as me just feeling bad for her. I accidentally witnessed the breakup and I had to check her vitals after that so I saw her breakdown. I saw all the messiness of it all. So I helped her through it. I started picking up more shifts, hence why I haven’t really called much, I’m sorry about that by the way, but I started picking up more shifts just to be with her. I felt like I couldn’t leave her or she’d break more. I just wanted to be there for her. So I started spending more time with her, staying later than my shift, taking my breaks in her room with her. Then I saw her smile one day. I made her go for a walk, or well, rather I was pushing her wheelchair, to take her outside and get some air. She’s been here for awhile and she just sat in her room all day. As we got outside, as soon as we found a place to sit, a butterfly landed right on her nose and sat there for a minute. Her smile, Tzu, her smile could cure half the patients in this hospital. It was brighter than the sun that day, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. That’s when I knew I messed up, I knew I was in too deep. 

I’ve been with her almost every day. The other nurses have been making fun of me for taking so many shifts, but I’ve convinced them it’s because I need the money, which isn’t a total lie. Even yesterday, I spent my break after a code blue situation, curled up in her arms. I fell asleep there. She could see how tired I was and she just held me and let me sleep on her shoulder. It was so perfect. I should have been there for her though, because she had read a really bad text from her ex that morning and I had to leave her for the code blue patient, but she wanted to comfort me. She’s so genuine, Tzu. She so selfless. But I felt so bad leaving her. I could see how much she needed someone and I just want to be that someone for her. I can’t help it though, Tzu. I think I love her. But she won’t ever love me back. 

I just want her to be happy. It kills me to see her so sad. I wish I could give her everything she wants, everything to make her happy again. I wish I could be that for her.

Tzuyu, I don’t know what to do. This is why you told me not to fall for my patients, I know.

Ugh.

...

I hope your filming is going well though. I’m still so excited you finally got your big break, but I hate how far away you are, especially when I could really use a movie night with you. But I guess I can just wait and our next movie night will be your big premiere! 

Talk soon, Tzu. Love you.” Dahyun pressed end and looked at the clock. Midnight. She needed sleep. She took another shift tomorrow, that was originally one of her only days off, just to be with Jeongyeon. It was getting to be ridiculous, and she knew it, but she hated the days that she didn’t work. She hated not seeing her and was terrified they’d release her and she’d never see her again. She was almost fully recovered and walking again. It would be any day now that the hospital would release her. They really just needed some approval from her doctor and physical therapist. 

While she was thrilled that she was almost fully recovered and ready to leave soon, she also spent the last two nights near tears because she would be leaving eventually. After all this time together, she would miss her. She didn’t want her to leave, she wanted more time with her, and who knows if they would ever see each other again. That’s why she called Tzuyu. She needed some guidance, and even though she was the older one of the two of them, Tzuyu had more knowledge when it came to stuff like this. Always has. She was always gorgeous and tall and sweet, and she had eyes on her wherever she went. It was like that all throughout highschool. Which is why when she auditioned for the movie she was now filming, Dahyun wasn’t shocked when she got the part. She was perfect for it. Dahyun on the other hand, while she’s had a few partners in the past, none lasted very long. She always wanted what Jeongyeon and Nayeon had, before everything, obviously. When she first saw Nayeon visiting, she was jealous, not knowing then the huge crush she would develop on her girlfriend, but just because she saw how much love was between them. She envied it. She wanted it for herself with someone. Now she wants that with Jeongyeon, but she knows she’ll never get it. 

She plugged her phone in and took a deep breath before settling down into her bed and lying awake for the next few hours. Eventually, she drifted off to sleep, dreaming of laying in Jeongyeon’s arms again. She cursed when her alarm went off, feeling as if she had just fallen asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh, this wasn't supposed to happen, but it did, so now we have some dajeong angst to go with our 2yeon angst. pls don't hate me. you can yell at me on my cc or twitter @marksgasoline   
Thank you for waiting patiently, I'm sorry this update is so short after such a long wait. I'm working on more though so hopefully the next one wont take as long.


	8. Going Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I'm back with a longer update today because I still feel bad about the long wait before only to have a short angsty chapter. Don't worry, this one is still angst (because that' all I know how to write apparently)

“I’m being released?” Jeongyeon asked. It’s been a week since her text from Nayeon and her phone call from Chaeyoung. She still hadn’t called Mina, even after promising she would. Mina hasn’t tried to call her either though. That’s what scared her. Did Mina hate her for ignoring her?

As for her physical therapy, she could now walk from one side of the room to the other and back. She of course was slow, taking frequent stops, and her legs were shaky at times, but she made it. Apparently, according to Dr. Hong, that was the true test on when to be released. Of course it wasn’t just up to her, and her other doctors also agreed that Jeongyeon was officially ready to leave and be released from the hospital. 

It didn’t feel real. It’s been almost three months that she was in this place, it had become almost like a home to her. She was nervous to go back home, if she were being completely honest. She’d grown accustomed to hospital living. Though, of course she’d be back twice a week to continue with physical therapy. Dr. Hong had told her that yes, she had come very far and she felt confident that she could leave the hospital, but she should also continue with more therapy for a few more months, as there was still some strength to be built in her legs and back. She was given a cane and told to use it daily, to build up her strength. 

Dahyun smiled somberly. “Yeah, I was told this morning that you were officially cleared.” She brushed the edge of Jeongyeon’s bed to fill the silence. She had waited a few minutes before coming into her room after the doctors had left. She knew what they had told her. One of her fellow nurses, Seungwan, poked fun at Dahyun when she came in for her shift, knowing Jeongyeon was going to be released today. 

_ “Your favourite patient is leaving you today, Dahyun. Looks like you’ll actually get to see other patients now.” _

She was joking, and Dahyun knew that, but some part of her felt like she was neglecting her actual job spending so much time with Jeongyeon. All for her stupid crush. A stupid crush that would never be reciprocated. 

“I feel like I should be more excited to leave,” Jeongyeon said interrupting Dahyun from her thoughts. “I feel like this place has become a home to me, I almost forgot I had a home outside of here, it’s been so long,” Jeongyeon laughed. “Am I really being released? I don’t feel ready.” She looked at her legs that were stretched in front of her on the bed she’s spent so much time on.

“You told me yourself how much you walked yesterday. Don’t doubt yourself, Jeongyeon, you’ve made incredible progress,” Dahyun smiled at her. 

“I don’t know, it’s different here, you know?” She thought about going home alone. “I have Doctor Hong here if I stumble,” she paused. “I have you.”

“Well, when I’m not working, I can come visit.” Dahyun took a shaky breath and cleared her throat. “If you’d like, that is.”

Jeongyeon smiled. “Of course I would, but you’re always here. Do they ever give you a day off?”

_ ‘I’m always here because of you, because I have a stupid crush on you and I think I may love you’  _ Dahyun thought to herself. Of course, she wouldn’t actually say that outloud. “You just think I’m always here because you’re always here.” She went with a lame joke instead. It still made Jeongyeon smile. Dahyun’s favourite smile. 

“I don’t even know how I’m supposed to get home,” Jeongyeon thought out loud, smile fading. “I haven’t even thought about this, I guess I just never really expected to go home.”

“What, did you plan on living here for the rest of your life?” Dahyun playfully hit her foot that was in front of her as she stayed standing at the edge of Jeongyeon’s bed. 

“I don’t know. I mean, at first, I had Nayeon. Then after...that...I guess I just never thought about it. Oh god, my apartment has been empty for months.” Her eyes shot open wide with the realization. “Mina’s away and I’ve been here. I don’t think anyone’s been to my place in over two months. I hope I still have a place…” She started to panic.

“I’m sure you still have a place, Jeong. It’s probably just a bit dusty...and maybe behind on some payments...”

“How do I even get home? I can’t exactly drive.” Questions kept plaguing Jeongyeon’s panicking mind. “How do I even bring my stuff back home?” She looked around her room that’s been her home for the past near three months. There wasn’t much. Nayeon had brought her some essentials when they learned she’d be there for awhile; a few articles of clothing, though most of the time she just wore hospital sweats, her laptop, a few books, and the stuffed dinosaur Nayeon brought her when she found out she’d be here for the summer, unable to walk. The dinosaur Nayeon found in the gift shop right after her doctor told her there’d be a possibility she’d never walk again. The dinosaur Nayeon sobbed into that night when she thought Jeongyeon was asleep, crying for her girlfriend. The dinosaur that still had Nayeon’s light perfume smell to it. The dinosaur she still slept with every night. Jeongyeon picked it up and held it close, easing some of her nerves. 

“We have a driving service that we offer to all our patients, kinda like a taxi service,” Dahyun tried to help ease some of her anxieties, but she wished she could help more, or even drive her home herself. But of course, this was a nine hour shift and she was only two hours in. 

“I guess I’ll need that,” Jeongyeon replied softly. She started to stand up, leaning on the side of her bed for support. Slowly she made her way to where the doctor left her cane in the corner of the room. “This will take some getting used to. I feel like an old lady.”

“Compared to me, you are.” Dahyun smiled. 

“Oh shut it, I’m not that much older than you,” Jeongyeon scrunched her nose in disapproval then stuck her tongue out. She hobbled her way over to Dahyun, using her cane to guide her. “You know, I’m really going to miss you.”

“Don’t start with these sappy goodbyes.” Dahyun felt like she wanted to cry but refused to show it.

“I mean it. Dahyun, you don’t know how much you’ve helped me, and not just in my recovery. You became such an important friend to me. I really don’t know where I’d be if it weren’t for you. So thank you, really, for everything.” For the first time, Dahyun saw Jeongyeon let a tear fall for a happier reason. These tears were nicer on her, but she still hated to see them because it meant she was leaving, really leaving. 

Dahyun didn’t know how to reply. She wanted to tell her how much she meant to her as well, but she couldn’t. Instead, she stayed with her jokes, using her poor humor as her coping technique. “Hey, it’s my job, I get paid for this.”

“Well, I hope they pay you well, because you really saved me.”

Her words rang through Dahyun’s ears. ‘You really saved me’. “Jeongyeon, you are an amazing person who has gone through some really tough situations, but you are so strong and so brave. You can power through anything.” She felt herself getting more emotional and had to stop before she let her own tears fall. “But hey, I’m still going to see you, you’re gonna come back for physical therapy.”

“Yeah,” Jeongyeon nodded, wiping the one stray tear from her eye. “And I would like to treat you to dinner sometime, as a thank you for all that you’ve done for me,” Jeongyeon said. “When you’re free that is.”

“You don’t have to-”

“You’re not getting rid of me this easy,” Jeongyeon tried to lean forward to poke Dahyun, but her right leg gave out instead and she nearly fell, landing in Dahyun’s arms. “And they want to send me home like this.” She rolled her eyes and looked up at Dahyun. “Thanks.”

Dahyun helped her get steady on her feet again. “You’re going to have to baby proof your apartment, for your own safety.”

“I’d say shut up, but you’re probably right,” Jeongyeon sighed. 

Xx

Jeongyeon watched out the window as her driver pulled up to her apartment complex. It’s been so long since she’s actually been home that it almost looked foreign to her.

“Can I help you bring anything inside?” Her driver asked as they pulled up to the front of the building.

“I should be okay, I just have the one bag, and there’s an elevator right inside, but thank you.” She slowly climbed out of the back seat and grabbed her bag and her cane. She hooked her bag on her left shoulder and shuffled her way towards the doors. She waved thank you again to her driver and took a deep breath before walking inside. The first thing she saw as she got inside was a big out of service sign on the elevator. “Oh, awesome, just what I need.” The lobby was empty as well, with no one to even ask for help if she wanted to. So she made her way to the stairs. 

Four flights. 

She took a deep breath and using her cane, climbed up the first step. After the first flight, she felt winded and drained. 

Three more to go.

Her legs were sore. 

Two more to go. 

Her back started to hurt. 

One more flight. 

She almost fell to the ground and kissed it as she made it to her front door. She sat for a few minutes as she fished around her bag for her keys that she hadn’t needed in three months. When she found them, she took another deep breath and stood back up, putting all her weight on her cane.

She opened the door and walked inside. No lights were on, but the blinds were open to let sunlight in. It looked exactly how she left it the morning of her accident, not that she really expected it to look any different. It was odd being back home, though. She took it all in. It’s been so long since she’s been home.

She put her bag down on the stool in the kitchen and made her way to her bedroom, opening the door. Her breath caught in her throat as the door opened and she saw deflated balloons, teddy bears, dead flowers, and streamers all over. There was an envelope on her bed, sitting on top of confetti, between the paws of a stuffed dog. “Jeongie my life” was written on the front. It was Nayeon’s handwriting. 

She slowly made her way to her bed and opened the envelope with shaky hands.

Inside was a letter, dated not too long after her accident, right before Jeongyeon sent her out of her life. 

_ Jeongie, I don’t know why this happened to you, but you’re going to pull through this. We’re going to pull through this together. I will be by your side every step of the way. (is that a bad phrase, I probably shouldn’t say that) I will be with you throughout it all, baby. I love you so much. As much as it hurts me to see you hurting like this, I’m so happy you’re alive. When I got that call, I can’t describe the feeling that hit the pit of my stomach. I never want to experience that ever again. You are my world, Jeongyeon, and I swear I will always be by your side, no matter what.  _

_ You’re going to pull through this. I know you will. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, nothing can keep you down. You will walk again. Don’t lose hope.  _

_ I know you’re probably going to worry about your place and keeping it clean, even though no one will be here to get it dirty anyway, so I’m coming by every day after rehearsal to dust and make sure these flowers stay alive and pretty for when you come back home. I also let management know and I paid this and next months rent so you don’t have to worry about anything. I don’t know when you’ll be cleared to come home, but we will celebrate that day. I have a lot planned for you. _

_ I don’t know why I’m writing all of this, most of it I’ve told you anyway. I guess it’s just a way to keep myself strong with you. I know I have to be brave and strong for you, but it’s hard sometimes. I love you so much, Jeongie. I know I’m busy with my debut right now, so I’m sorry I’m not always there with you. It kills me to not be by your side every day. This debut is all for you. I’m going to work my hardest and everything will be for you. _

_ I love you, Jeongyeon, you’re my love, my life, my world. My one and only. _

_ Love, your Nabongs. _

Jeongyeon gripped the letter in her hand, wrinkling where her fingers pressed into it. She looked around the room again, seeing the flowers that have obviously now been there for two months, confetti and streamers cluttering the room, stuffed animals filling her bed, a deflated balloon in the corner of her room. Everything that once probably looked like a beautiful celebration of her recovery, now resembling how she felt; defeated. She couldn’t be in her room anymore, the emotions suffocating her, so out of breath, she ran out of her room. She dropped her cane in the panic and her leg gave out as she fell to the floor behind the couch. She stayed there, sobbing into her hands. The hands that still gripped the letter from Nayeon tightly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping to get another update in soon, but I make no promises. Though I will say my friends and I are potentially holding a writing party for NaNo this weekend and this is my main project so I will hopefully get a few chapters down then. Please yell at me in my cc or twitter @marksgasoline to make sure I write (honestly, it motivates me a lot when people show interest in my writing, like the comments and kudos I get here, and the RTs on twitter yesterday really inspired me to come write more. So like thank you so much to everyone who supports this.)


	9. I've Missed You

Jeongyeon stayed there, unmoved, crying into her hands, on to her letter. She didn’t hear the door open, nor the footsteps that approached her.

“Jeongyeon?” The voice was shaky. The sight before her as she walked into her home, Jeongyeon on the floor, cane thrown behind her, was frightening. She ran over to her and placed her hands on her slumped shoulders. “Jeongyeon, are you okay?”

Jeongyeon looked up at Mina, her face stained with tears. She didn’t say anything, instead just threw her arms around her best friend, and sobbed into her chest, shaking and out of breath.

“Shh, Jeongyeon, it’s okay, I’m here. I’m here now. I promise I won’t leave you. I’m here.” She reassured her best friend, rubbing her back. She didn’t expect to come home to Jeongyeon having a panic attack on the floor, after not hearing from her for months. She didn’t know what to expect, but it was clearly worse than she had originally anticipated. 

“Mina, I’m so sorry,” was all Jeongyeon said. She repeated it over and over. “I’m so sorry.” Her breaths were short and her shaking was near violent.

“Shh, it’s okay, Jeong,” Mina said reassuringly. She kept her close, hugging her tightly. She’s seen Jeongyeon have a panic attack only one other time. It was the summer after their senior year of high school, when she found out her parents died in a plane crash. She was there for her then, and she’d be here for her now as well. 

“I ruined everything,” Jeongyeon cried into Mina’s chest. “Nayeon loved me so much and I pushed her away. I pushed everyone away. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I never called you. I’m-”

“Shh, Jeong, it’s okay. Chaeyoung told me everything, it’s okay. I’m here now.” She continued to rub her back for a few minutes, soothing her, but Jeongyeon stayed tense and she realized the floor probably wasn’t helping any. “Can you stand?” She pulled away a little so she could see Jeongyeon’s nodding response. “Good, let’s move you to the couch, come on.” She stood up and held out her hand to help Jeongyeon over to the couch. Jeongyeon slowly took it and they made their way to a more comfortable place to sit. As they walked over, Mina saw Jeongyeon’s bedroom door open and saw a glimpse of what was in there. She held Jeongyeon’s hands steady as they walked, catching her when she stumbled, her legs weak. They sat on the couch, Mina crossed legged facing Jeongyeon who slumped into the couch, afraid to meet Mina’s eyes.

“Mina, I’m so sorry I never called or answered your messages. I’m such a bad friend. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.” Her voice was still staggered between breaths. 

Mina held her hand in both of hers, caressing the top of it with her thumbs. “You’re not a bad friend-” She tilted her head so her eyes would connect with Jeongyeon’s averting gaze. 

“I ignored everything. I avoided you. I made you worry, I made Chaeng worry. You probably hate me-”

“I was so worried, but Chaeng told me everything, and I most certainly do not hate you.” She pulled her into a hug and held her tight. “Jeong, I’m still worried about you. That’s why I came home. I got my understudy to finish the last five shows so I could come home early.”

“No, Mina-” Jeongyeon tried to pull away in protest, but Mina kept her hands on her arms.

“Jeongyeon, what Chaeyoung told me, I needed to be home with you. I don’t care what you say. I wasn’t leaving you alone. I wanted to come home sooner, to see you, but my managers wouldn’t let me. I had five days of time off in my contract, and I used them for the last five shows. Jeongyeon, I love you, you don’t have to fight this alone. I wanted to be home sooner and I’m sorry I couldn’t be.”

Jeongyeon hugged her again. “I needed you, Mina, but I was so afraid… I didn’t want to ruin your ballet. You were so excited to do this. I’m so sor-”

“Don’t you dare apologize for needing a friend.” She lightly pushed Jeongyeon’s hair out of her face and behind her ear as she pulled away from the hug. She looked down at the now wrinkled and tear stained letter in Jeongyeon’s hands. Jeongyeon looked down at it with her, then back at her room. 

“She was so perfect and patient. She was willing to wait for me, and I pushed her away. Mina, why did I push her away? Why do I push away everyone who loves me?” Jeongyeon asked, quiet sobs still escaping her lips. “She told me she loved me, she tried to fight to stay with me, but I pushed her away. Why did I push her away? I miss her so much, Mina.”

“Have you tried talking to her?” Mina asked. She kept her hand on Jeongyeon’s arm, slowly caressing her thumb back and forth to help calm her. 

“She wants nothing to do with me. And I can’t say I blame her. I’d hate me too if I were her. Hell, I do hate me. I hate everything I did. Just look at my room. Look at what she was planning for me. She did everything for me and I pushed her out the door.”

Mina looked back into Jeongyeon’s room. Through the open door, she could see some of what was left.

Jeongyeon held up the wrinkled letter in her hand. “She left me this, before everything. She was coming here every day. She left me balloons and flowers, she cleaned the apartment, she told me everything she did was for me, that she’d fight through this with me, that she’d stay by my side through it all. And I didn’t let her. I was selfish and pushed her away because I didn’t want to be the one to ruin her dreams. Because I didn’t want her to give up on everything because of me, but in turn, I gave up on us.” Her cries were quiet now, she wasn’t shaking anymore, but her voice was raw with emotions. “I gave up everything for her happiness. I thought I would eventually be okay with it, knowing she was happy and living out her dream, but it still hurts so much. And now I’m being selfish all over again because I just want her back.”

Mina didn’t know what to say, but Jeongyeon didn’t seem to mind. She just needed her best friend by her side. She just needed the comforting arms of Mina, hugging her back, telling her everything was going to be okay. The past two months, Jeongyeon was met with uncomfortable silence, whenever Dahyun wasn’t around or she was trapped in her own mind. Silence she forced upon herself. Now she had comforting silence in Mina’s arms, holding her and reassuring her, and she didn’t realize just how much she needed it.

Time passed and neither moved. They sat in their comforting silence for awhile before Jeongyeon broke the quiet.

“Tell me about your ballet, Mina.” She was laying into Mina’s side, Mina’s arm around her shoulder, holding her close, her head resting on top of Jeongyeons. “I wish I had gotten to see it.”

“It was beautiful. An experience I don’t think I’ll ever forget.” Mina smiled.

“Tell me everything,” Jeongyeon looked up. “I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Mina kissed the top of her head and proceeded to tell her all about her tour. How she saw parts of America she never expected to see, and how beautiful it was. How incredible it was to dance on different stages and see so many people in love with it just as much as she was. How exhausting it got at times, but even as tiring as it was, and painful when she twisted her knee during rehearsal, it was harder to not dance that night, to not perform. How she cried at curtain call the first night, overcome with emotions. How one night she was having dinner after the matinee performance, before the show that night, and a young girl came up to her and said she recognized her from the show earlier that day. Told her how she always loved dance and ballet and hoped to one day be up on the stage like her. She told Jeongyeon how that young girl made her tear up with her words because she reminded her so much of herself at that age. Then later that night, at the end of the show, she spotted the young girl in the audience, watching with so much admiration and passion in her eyes. How it was the most beautiful experience, but the hardest when she got the news about Jeongyeon’s accident. It was near impossible to not leave right then and come back home when Nayeon called to tell her that she was possibly paralyzed and undergoing surgery. 

“I’m really sorry, Mina, I didn’t mean to-”

“I know, Jeong. I know.” She ran her hand over Jeongyeon’s head, smoothing out her hair. “It was a scary experience, I just wished I could have been here with you. But I knew you were alive and I knew when I came home to see you, you’d be walking again. And I was right. You overcame such an incredible struggle.” She smiled looking at Jeongyeon. 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Jeongyoen looked away from Mina and down at her legs in front of her.

“What do you mean you ‘guess so’? You’re walking again, that’s incredible!”

“I’m walking with help. It’s still a struggle sometimes. Like the elevator being broken and having to walk up those four flights of stairs alone.”

“You walked those alone?! Jeongyeon, why didn’t you ask for help!”

“No one was around to ask! I took my time, it took me like ten minutes, but I had to rest every few steps. Actually, I’ve never been so happy to just be sitting now, even after months of just sitting in the hospital.” She let out a small chuckle. 

“Well, you sit all night, I’m going to make you some dinner. To celebrate you being home.”

“We should celebrate you too, Mina.”

“We will, but tonight is for you. You’re home, you’re walking again, and I’m making you you’re favourite,” she smiled and kissed Jeongyeon’s forehead before getting up. “Tteokbokki.” 

“I’m so happy you’re home, Mina.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love Jeongmi's friendship and I'm going to express that a lot now that Mina is home.  
So my writing party weekend was more so me finally writing my novel that I've been putting off for 3 years, which is honestly how this fanfic started, as motivation to start writing it again. So now I'm writing more and I'm hoping to have this fic finished by the end of the year! (I'd say for the end of NaNo, but I know that won't happen). So thank you everyone reading and supporting!  
socials: @marksgasoline


	10. My First V-Live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's be awhile since we've seen Nayeon

Nayeon sat down on her couch and opened up her vlive app. She started a new broadcast and titled it “first vlive”. She ran a hand through her hair as the screen showed her face and she hit start. She had just gotten back from a taping for  Inkigayo and she wasn’t sure what to do, she hated the silence of being alone, so she figured she’d start her first vlive. She watched as fans joined in, comments scrolling up the screen, hearts pooling in. She couldn’t help but smile.

“Hi everyone,” she greeted after a minute of taking it all in. She had over 10,000 hearts already, and almost 500 people watching, and the numbers slowly kept growing. It was incredible to see. “I’m not sure what to do, but I wanted to come and greet you all. So how is everyone today?” She asked.

Comments of various forms of “good” and “amazing now that you’re here” flooded her screen.

“I hope you’re all having a good day. I am too.” She smiled. “This is so weird,” her smile grew. “I’ve always watched others V-lives, but now I’m on this side of it. It’s because of all of you. Thank you.” She blew the screen a kiss. 

More hearts and comments went by, she tried to read them all and answer some. Every so often, she’d see a comment about Jihyo. It’s been a week since the rumors were denied, but of course fans still asked. She ignored those questions and instead answered the others, asking how her day was, if she ate, how she was feeling. She responded to a few other comments as well, like the ones saying they loved her song. 

“You’re all too kind. This makes me so happy, talking with all of you. I honestly thought this would be weird to do alone, I thought it would feel like I was talking to myself. I didn’t expect so many of you to join, but I love talking to you.”

She continued to talk to fans for awhile. Answering more questions or just telling them stories. One fan asked what the most memorable moment so far has been. She had to think about it for a minute. 

“I think my debut stage has been my most memorable so far, seeing so many people cheering for me, I cried when I got backstage. For many reasons, but seeing all your faces cheering me on, it really moved me. And I had all my friends backstage to cheer me on as well. Definitely a day I’ll never forget.”

After awhile, Nayeon got a little restless. “What else can we do?” She asked. “I want to do stuff you all want to see. Maybe mukbang? Are you okay with just talking? What do you guys want to see?” She read the answers as they scrolled by. Some agreed with mukbang, some liked just talking, some suggested a karaoke room, a few said a duo live with Jihyo. It was the one that suggested just singing that caught her eye. 

“Oh, that’s a good idea. I can sing you some songs. What songs do you like?” 

There were a lot of different song recommendations, some including her own song. She laughed at those comments, smiling. Someone asked what her favourote songs were.

“Currently I really like Bolbbalgan4’s new song.” She hummed the chorus. “I wish we were promoting at the same time, I’d love to meet them, I’ve always loved their music.” She continued humming as she thought of other songs she liked currently. “Oh, and I listen to USM’s debut album a lot when I work out. I trained with them and anytime I hear them, it makes me want to better my dancing. Momo is such an incredible dancer, but the two of them together blend so well. They dance in such beautiful harmony. So I listen to them when I’m working out a lot.” She thought of what else was on her phone. “I also love Lizzo,” she started singing, humming the english she couldn’t pronounce. “I’m not the best rapper though, you guys probably don’t want to hear that,” she chuckled. She bobbed her head from side to side to herself humming one of Lizzo’s songs, going back to reading comments. 

_ Do you write songs? Sing us something you wrote _

The comment caught her eyes. 

“I don’t write many songs, I’m not too good at it. PDnim writes most of my songs, but I love them. I had an old friend who would write songs though. She was really talented at it.” Nayeon thought of Jeongyeon. “I told her she should write for idols, but she told me they were only for special ears.” She smiled remembering some Jeongyeon’s songs. 

_ Did she write you any? _

Nayeon smiled somberly and nodded. “She wrote me a lot of songs.”

Comments flooded in again. 

_ That’s so cute! _

_ Omg do you think it was a girlfriend? _

_ Jihyo writes music too that’s totally Jihyo! _

_ Does she still write you music _

_ She should write you a song to sing _

“I don’t think she’d write me anymore songs, but I remember all the ones she did before. I still have all the ones that she gave me. Sometimes she would sing them to me, I thought she had a lovely voice, but she didn’t want to be an idol with me,” Nayeon laughed at the memory of when Jeongyeon first sang her a song.

_ Nayeon had taken Jeongyeon out to dinner for their 3 month anniversary. Afterwards, Jeongyeon asked Nayeon to stay over her place for the night. She was nervous but Nayeon didn’t know why. They were cuddling together on the couch when Jeongyeon got up. Nayeon figured she was going to the bathroom but when she came back with a guitar and took a deep breath to steady herself, Nayeon watched with adoring eyes.  _

_ “You always sing for me, but tonight I wanted to sing something for you, something I wrote.” And she did. She sang the most beautiful song Nayeon had ever heard, with such a soft and beautiful voice; _

_ “I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart, _

_ But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start. _

_ You put your arms around me, _

_ And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go. _

_ You put your arms around me and I’m home. _

_ I hope that you see right through my walls _

_ I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling _

_ I'll never let a love get so close _

_ You put your arms around me and I'm home” _

_ Nayeon had no words, so she replied with a soft kiss.  _

_ “You should be an idol” Nayeon said when she pulled away. _

_ “What? No, that’s your life.” Jeongyeon put her guitar down gently, laughing at Nayeon’s comment.  _

_ “But your voice is so beautiful,” Nayeon kissed Jeongyeon again. “Almost as good as mine.” _

_ “That’s the best compliment you’ve ever given me, Nabongs.” She kissed her back, laughing into the kiss.  _

_ “I love you,” Nayeon said as they pulled apart. Jeongyeon’s eyes went wide and Nayeon almost started to panic. She didn’t mean for it to slip out of her mouth like that. She had never said that to her before. She had wanted to, for a long time now, but she wanted to do it somewhere special. _

_ “Never mind, that’s the best you’ve ever told me,” Jeongyeon’s smile was soft, as were her eyes looking into Nayeons. “I love you too, but I think you gathered that from the song.”  _

_ Nayeon slowly leaned in, resting her forehead against her girlfriends. She pecked her lips softly, slowly deepening the kiss. “I love you, Yoo Jeongyeon. You are my love and my life, and I’m never going to let you go.” _

Nayeon snapped out of her memory, remembering she was doing a love with fans. “Her songs were really beautiful,” she sighed. “Keeping suggesting things to do on vlive, maybe I will do another with your suggestion soon. Thank you all for coming to talk with me, I will see you all soon, I love you!” she waved at the camera and hit end, finishing the live. She didn’t plan on ending it so abruptly but she felt herself getting too caught up in her memories and had to leave. That night came back to her again. 

_ “I love you, Yoo Jeongyeon. You are my love and my life, and I’m never going to let you go.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha ha I'm not going to jinx me writing anymore, sorry for the extra long wait, please don't hate me.


	11. You're Important Enough to Wake Up For

Jeongyeon and Mina had finished eating, and now they were watching some new drama on their tv, curled up on the couch together. Jeongyeon couldn’t help but notice Mina’s fifth yawn in the past twenty minutes, or the way she was struggling to keep her eyes open.

“Mina, you look exhausted,” Jeongyeon said, turning away from the tv. 

“Eh?” Mina asked, turning to her. She pulled up the blanket she was using, wrapping it around her tighter. “It’s just jet lag, I’m fine.”

“Mina, go to bed, I’m okay, I promise.”

“Are you sure? I can finish this episode with you.” Mina asked, a yawn cutting off her last few words.

“You can’t even finish a sentence without yawning, you’re exhausted, go to bed.” Jeongyeon threw a pillow at her, hitting Mina in the shoulder. 

“Ow,” Mina held her arm in fake pain. “Alright, well, if you insist.” She got up and stretched with an audible sigh. She wrapped the blanket around her and shuffled over towards her room. “But hey, if you need anything-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, you’re here. If I can wake you, that is. You’ve always been a heavy sleeper.”

“I hear what I need to hear in my sleep, if it’s not important, I sleep through it.”

“So your alarm going off for ten minutes before you turn it off isn’t important?” Jeongyeon raised an eyebrow.

“That’s why I set it ten minutes early,” Mina scrunched her face and smiled at Jeongyeon. 

“Oh, well, that makes sense.” Jeongyeon rolled her eyes and reached for the pillow to throw at her again, but Mina pulled her blanket over her head and ran into her room with a tiny yell, hiding behind her half opened door. Jeongyeon threw it anyway and hit the door as Mina closed it. Mina peeked back out through a small crack before opening to door fully. “Go to bed, you baby,” Jeongyeon joked. 

“Goodnight, Jeong,” Mina smiled.

“Goodnight, Mina.” Jeongyeon returned the smile and turned back to the drama on the tv. 

Mina closed the door and after a moment, she reopened it. “You’re important enough to wake up for.” Her voice was soft and sleepy, but Jeongyeon heard it. She turned back to Mina and smiled as she blew her a kiss and closed the door again, going to bed.

Jeongyeon, on the other hand, wasn’t tired at all. Finally being home after months of just sitting around in a hospital, she was content to just lay on her couch and watch shows the hospital tv didn’t get. It seemed silly to her, doing exactly what she would have been doing in the hospital, but being on her own couch instead of a small hospital bed that smelled too much like disinfectant, was heavenly. And knowing her best friend was a room over was comforting. She missed her best friend. She leaned over the couch, grabbing the pillow from the other side of the couch, one she hadn’t thrown at Mina, and stuck it behind her and laid down, curling her legs as much as they’d allow. She grabbed her phone and unlocked it. All the ignored messages and notifications were finally cleared and she felt like she’s never seen her phone so free of clutter and guilt-reminders. She opened up a game to pass time and got a few levels in before a v-live notification popped up.

It was Nayeon. 

She knew she shouldn’t have opened it, but she did anyway and was greeted with her ex-girlfriend’s face. She was beautiful. She had on makeup, clearly for a taping, and a giant purple hoodie. One that Jeongyeon bought her for Christmas last year, but wore herself more times than Nayeon did. 

“Hi everyone.” When Nayeon finally spoke, Jeongyeon’s heart skipped a beat. She hadn’t heard her voice in so long. Of course she heard her on her showcase when she watched it with Dahyun at the hospital, but that was different. This was like she was video chatting with Jeongyeon, something they did a lot of when Nayeon would be training all day and they couldn’t see each other as much. 

Jeongyeon expected herself to break again, which is why she was hesitant to open the live video, but it was almost comforting. Just seeing Nayeon, she could see the joy in her eyes. Along with debuting, Nayeon would always talk about doing lives with fans. She thought it was the most exciting thing, when an idol went live to talk with fans. She would make plans on what to do during her lives, some way more elaborate than need be, but that was Nayeon. 

Jeongyeon watched her smile as the numbers of viewers and hearts climbed. It was exciting watching Nayeon’s dream become a reality. She only wishes she could celebrate it with her, rather than just being one of the thousands of viewers. 

Jeongyeon read some of the comments going by, sending a few hearts in herself, but never typing anything. Afraid of what she’d say. Afraid Nayeon would recognize her. More than the comments though, she focused most on Nayeon’s expression. Though subtle, Jeongyeon knew her best, she could read any emotion on her face, even through a phone screen shared by thousands of people. She watched her face get brighter and brighter as more fans joined and commented. But she also so her face falter when she was talking about her most memorable moment so far. 

“I think my debut stage has been my most memorable so far, seeing so many people cheering for me, I cried when I got backstage.” Nayeon paused, Jeongyeon noting how her smile, though still bright, dulled just a little. “For many reasons, but seeing all your faces cheering me on, it really moved me. And I had all my friends backstage to cheer me on as well. Definitely a day I’ll never forget.”

Jeongyeon couldn’t help but notice how Nayeon’s mood slightly changed after that. She continued answering questions or telling stories, but it seemed like she was cautious of the stories she wanted to share. Jeongyeon worried it was related to the many comments she saw with Jihyo’s name. Of course, she saw the articles denying their dating rumors, but it didn’t ease any of her insecurities. They made a perfect couple, why wouldn’t they be dating? Nayeon looked so happy in the pictures she saw with her and Jihyo. Naturally, they wouldn’t approve of their dating if they really were, Jihyo was straight to the public eye, if she came out, especially being such a huge star, it could drastically change her career. Nayeon being a new idol, it was frowned upon for her to be dating. Nayeon explained that to Jeongyeon when they were dating, telling her that if she were to debut, they’d have to keep their relationship hidden for awhile. Jeongyeon understood and didn’t mind, as long as she still had Nayeon. 

She continued to watch the live, trying her best to ignore all the Jihyo comments. Nayeon started asking for ideas of what to do, talking about songs she listened to lately. She missed listening to Nayeon sing along to songs. She always had the habit of humming a song whenever she was deep in thought. Sometimes she’d catch her humming one of her songs. She remembered one day, she was getting ready for work at the shelter and Nayeon was just laying in bed scrolling through her phone, humming. It was always one of Jeongyeon’s favourite things to listen to, Nayeon humming to a song without realizing it. It was always some new song that Nayeon was getting into, but this time it was one of Jeongyeon’s songs. The song she had sang for her the night she finally worked up the courage to tell her she loved her. 

Jeongyeon was pulled out of her memories when Nayeon started talking about more songs.

“I don’t write many songs, I’m not too good at it. PDnim writes most of my songs, but I love them. I had an old friend who would write songs though.” Jeongyeon’s eyes widened. “She was really talented at it. I told her she should write for idols, but she told me they were only for special ears.” Jeongyeon noticed Nayeon’s smile. It was almost somber, though. 

Comments filled the side of the screen, but Jeongyeon noticed one asking if this person wrote her any. And When Nayeon answered, she couldn’t help but think she read the same one. 

“She wrote me a lot of songs.” Jeongyeon’s stomach dropped. “I don’t think she’d write me anymore songs, but I remember all the ones she did before. I still have all of the ones that she gave me. Sometimes she would sing them to me, I thought she had a lovely voice, but she didn’t want to be an idol with me.” If it wasn’t obvious before, Jeongyeon knew she was talking about her now. Nayeon would constantly ask Jeongyeon to sing her a song, claiming she loved her voice. What Nayeon didn’t know was just how many songs Jeongyeon had written for her. She had always loved song writing, but never shared them with anyone. Not even Mina. But when she met Nayeon, she couldn’t stop writing songs and she had to share them with her. 

Nayeon still had her songs. She still remembered them. But she didn’t think she’d write her anymore. On the other hand, Jeongyeon would give anything to write another song for Nayeon and sing it to her. Only, all her songs now were about heartbreak. 

She started to wonder if Jihyo wrote songs. If Jihyo wrote Nayeon songs and sang them to her. 

Jeongyeon broke her own thoughts and watched as Nayeon seemed deeply invested in her own. She wondered what Nayeon was thinking about, what she was remembering. Was it one of Jeongyeon’s songs? Was it one of Jihyo’s songs? 

She exited out of the app. She couldn’t watch it anymore. She wasn’t tired, but all she wanted to do was sleep now. Sleep was the best distraction from all of her thoughts. 

She got up and grabbed her cane, slowly making her way to her room and stopping at the door. Mina had closed to door when she had made dinner earlier. Jeongyeon was afraid to open it. Afraid to see everything again. Instead, she turned around and walked back to the couch. She laid back down, but the lack of blanket made it cold. Or maybe i was the lack of a presence with her. Though she had spent the last month sleeping alone in the hospital, tonight she just wanted someone with her. So she quietly made her way to Mina’s door. She didn’t want to wake her, no matter what Mina had said earlier. But she also couldn’t be alone right now, and she most certainly couldn’t be alone in her room. So she opened Mina’s door, as quietly as she could, and took small, silent steps towards Mina’s bed. Mina was deep asleep, her stomach rising and falling with her deep breaths. Jeongyeon put her cane down and tried to crawl into Mina’s bed with her as silently as she could. Mina wouldn’t mind, they’ve shared a bed more times than she could count. So she slid under the blanket and curled over to her side, trying not to disturb the sleeping friend next to her. She turned and faced her best friend and sighed to herself, closing her eyes. 

Mina’s arm found its way around Jeongyeon, pulling her closer. “I told you, you’re important enough to wake up for. Come here.” Mina hugged Jeongyeon as they both fell asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update today because I felt bad about the super long wait  
socials: @marksgasoline


	12. Coffee Break

Jeongyeon made her way into the hospital and down the hallway, following the familiar halls. She still had about a half hour before she was supposed to meet with doctor Hong for her session, but she wanted to be early. Luckily Mina was able to give her a ride, since she still wasn't confident in driving herself. She offered to stay with her, but Jeongyeon insisted she was fine, so instead she went out to run a few errands and told Jeongyeon to call her when she was out.

As she made her way down the hallway she knew all too well, she spotted Dahyun. She was turned around talking with fellow nurses Jeongyeon recognized as  Seungwan, Sunmi, and Seulgi at the nurses station. She decided she’d sneak up on her and try to scare her. It’s been a week since she’s seen her and though that didn’t seem like much time, it was wildly different after seeing her almost everyday for over two months, and she missed her, including pulling pranks with and on her. 

She quietly walked closer, none of the nurses noticing. As she got behind Dahyun, hand extended to grab her shoulder, Dahyun turned around and bumped right into Jeongyeon, nearly knocking her over, her cane falling to the floor. Dahyun quickly caught Jeongyeon’s arm and kept her steady.

“Jeongyeon!” She finally realized who she was keeping from falling. She pulled her into a hug. “What are you doing here?” She pulled back from the hug and saw the small pout on Jeongyeon’s face.

“Well I was supposed to surprise you.” She looked down at her cane and then at Dahyun’s hand still on hers. Her pout was mixed with a smile. Dahyun quickly pulled her hand away and bent down to pick up her cane for her.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to almost knock you over.” She handed it back to her. 

“It’s my fault, I was trying to scare you.”

“Well you definitely surprised me!” She smiled brightly. “I’ve missed you, how have you been?”

“That’s one way to put it,” Seungwan said quietly to Sunmi and Seulgi. Dahyun quickly turned around and shot them a glare Jeongyeon couldn’t see. 

“Don’t you have patients to get to,” Dahyun retorted. 

“Mmm, look who’s talking,” Sunmi said before grabbing Seulgi’s hand and walking away. Seungwan followed them but turned back to Dahyun and winked at her before leaving.

“Ignore them, it’s been a slow week. But what about you, how’s the home life again?” Dahyun turned back to Jeongyeon.

“It’s been different, but nice. I don’t exactly miss it here, but I do miss some of it.”

“I hope I’m included in that.”

“Of course, you dork. That’s why I came early for my appointment today, I wanted to stop by and see you.” Dahyun felt her cheeks warm at Jeongyeon’s words and she had to turn around and shuffle a few papers on the desk in front of her so Jeongyeon wouldn’t notice.

“Well my patients are all set for right now and I’m due for a coffee break if you want to catch up downstairs?” Her cheeks finally cooled down and she turned back to face Jeongyeon.

“I’d love to,” Jeongyeon smiled. 

The two friends made their way towards the elevator and down to the cafeteria. They walked in silence, but it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. 

“So, what’s new, I haven’t seen you in...well only a week, but it feels longer…” Dahyun took a sip of her coffee. They sat in the back corner by the windows, away from the crowd as it was nearing lunch time. 

“I know, after seeing you almost every day, it feels like I haven’t seen you in so long,” Jeongyeon chuckled. “I’ve been good though. It’s weird adjusting to doing everything on my own again. But I think I’m doing well?”

“You didn’t trip at all coming down here, so I’d say that’s pretty good.” Jeongyeon reached over the table and slapped Dahyun’s arm lightly. Dahyun just laughed. 

“I’ve just been keeping it easy at home, not doing too much. Work is giving me until the end of the month then I’ll just be at desk duty, so that’s nice. And Mina’s been home, so that’s been really nice. I’ve missed her.”

“Mina is your roommate, right?” Dahyun asked. It dawned on Jeongyeon then that Dahyun didn’t really know anyone in her friend circle. Other than Nayeon, she really didn’t know anyone in Jeongyeon’s life. But to Jeongyeon, it felt like she’s known Dahyun forever. She may not know her close friends, but she knows some things about Jeongyeon that even her friends didn't know about. 

“Yeah, she was away on tour with her ballet. But she surprised me and came home the night I came home.” Jeongyeon left it there, not wanting to relive any details from her room or Nayeon’s letter. This was supposed to be a happy coffee date with a friend she’s missed. 

Dahyun just nodded, continuing to sip from her coffee. “That’s sweet.”

“But what about you, Dahyun? How have you been? You work so hard, I hope you’re resting and taking care of yourself.”

Dahyun couldn’t help but smile at Jeongyeon’s kind words, but inside she disagreed with them. “Oh, I’m fine.” She tried to brush it off.

“I mean it, you work so hard Dahyun, are you taking care of yourself the way you take care of your patients?”

“I promise, I’m fine,” she smiled at Jeongyeon, and if Jeongyeon had known her better, she would have known it was fake, but as close as they were, she still didn’t know all of Dahyun’s tricks. And she didn’t want to get into it. Seungwan’s words have been eating at her for the past week,  _ “Your favourite patient is leaving you today, Dahyun. Looks like you’ll actually get to see other patients now.”  _ Had she been abandoning other patients because of a stupid unrequited crush? And now that she was gone, she felt lost. She felt like she wasn’t giving her all to her patients who really needed it. So right away she threw herself into work, to alleviate some of the guilt eating at her. But the first two patients she had died on her watch. And while that was common, she did work in a critical part of the hospital, and while she was as used to it as one could be, it still hit hard. Harder than usual. She started not trusting in her nursing skills. Thinking it wasn’t the right job for her anymore. She confided some of it to Seungwan after she lost her second patient, when she found her crying, hiding in a janitor's closet. She didn’t feel like getting into it all again with Jeongyeon, who to Dahyun, was part of the reason she started getting this way. Not that she blamed her in anyway, she blamed herself for falling for her, and for throwing herself into only focusing on her. But she still didn’t want to have to explain it all to Jeongyeon. It wasn’t a conversation she was ready to have, or one she wanted to have at all.

“Well, I hope so. You deserve it. You’re an amazing nurse and person. You truly helped me a lot, and I know you’ve helped all of your other patients as well. You were meant for this job, Dahyun, but I just hope you take care of yourself as well as your patients.” Jeongyeon’s hand rested on top of Dahyun’s when she put her coffee down. She smiled at her friend. The smile both eased some stress in Dahyun’s life and hurt her because she knew she was lying to her. 

“Thank you, Jeongyeon. That means a lot.” She turned her hand over and held Jeongyeon’s in hers. 

They sat there like that for a moment, before Jeongyeon noticed the time. “Oh, I have to go, my appointment is in five minutes. I’m sorry we didn’t get to catch up more.”

“No, no, it’s fine, I should get back anyway. We’ll see each other again, I’m sure.”

“Of course.” Jeongyeon got up, gripping her cane for stability. She waved goodbye and headed out of the cafeteria towards the elevator. Dahyun continued to sit there and took a deep breath. 

“My patients deserve better, not me,” she said to herself, downing the last of her coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, work is kicking my ass, but I go on break soon, so heres hoping I write more soon!  
This is weirdly becoming more jeongda/dajeong (which is it?) But I promise, the 2yeon angst will return soon!   
Socials @marksgasoline


	13. Big Hearts are Easier to Break

Jeongyeon’s physical therapy appointment went a little rougher than expected. Dr. Hong had new exercises for her now that she was released. She said they would help work the muscles more and it would be sore and tiring at first, but after awhile they’d notice the progress much easier than before. And she was right, it was exhausting and a little painful, but Jeongyeon pushed through. 

“Since we’re only meeting twice a week, I want you to try and do some of these exercises at home as well.” Dr. Hong handed Jeongyeon a packet of papers with exercises pictures and descriptions on it. “But don’t overdo it, just about an hour a day of simple stretches, since you’re also up and walking around more now, I don’t want you overdoing it.”

Jeongyeon nodded, sitting down in the chair by the door of the room they were in. She rubbed her thigh, massaging her sore muscles. 

“I’ll see you on Friday for our next appointment. Until then, do you have any questions? Need anything? I didn’t push you too hard did I?” Doctor Hong asked, watching as Jeongyeon massaged her muscles.

“No, no, I’m okay. Just getting used to it, I guess. Like the first week you saw me.”

“Look how far you’ve come since then, Miss Yoo.” She smiled at the younger patient in front of her. 

“Thank you, Dr. Hong.” Jeongyeon smiled back.

“I have a new patient to get to, so if you’re all set-”

“I’m all set,” Jeongyeon nodded. 

“Good, then I’ll see you on Friday.” She waved and left the room, on to her next patient. Jeongyeon nodded after her, but stayed in the chair for awhile, not ready to get up and walk yet. She wasn’t in an immense amount of pain, but more like her muscles were tired, as was she. 

She stayed in her chair and called Mina.

“Done so soon?” Mina asked on the other line before Jeongyeon could even greet her.

“Hi to you too. Yes, we just finished,” Jeongyeon said, rolling her eyes. 

“I’ll be there soon, meet me out front?”

“You don’t have to rush, I don’t want to-”

“We talked about this, Jeong, it’s fine.” She could hear Mina’s gummy smile through the phone. 

“Thank you. I’ll meet you out front.” They hung up and Jeongyeon took a deep breath, to prepare herself before she stood up. She leaned on her cane and made her way out of the physical therapy room and down the hall to the elevator. As she got inside, there was one other person in the elevator with her, a nurse she recognized from earlier this morning. Seungwan she thinks her name is. She nodded her head at her as a quiet hello, and stood against the back wall for support. 

“You’re Dahyun’s friend, aren’t you?” She asked. “The one who got in that accident?”

Jeongyeon nodded. “Yeah, she was my nurse over the summer, but we got close.”

“Hmm,” Seungwan bobbed her head to Jeongyeon’s words. “I see.”

“She’s a really good nurse,” Jeongyeon started.

“I know. She’s a good person too, she has a very big heart, but that just means it hurts more when it’s broken, so be careful with her, yeah?” 

Jeongyeon nodded as the elevator stopped and the door opened. Seungwan made her way out, but stopped to turn to Jeongyeon one last time. 

“I’m glad you’re healing well.” The doors closed and the elevator picked back up again, bringing her to the main lobby. Jeongyeon didn’t really know what to think of Seungwan’s words, but when she saw Dahyun sitting outside on the bench, she walked right up and sat down next to her.

“Jeongyeon, you scared me!” Dahyun jumped. She wiped at her eyes, pulling the hood she was wearing lower over her face. 

“Oh sure, I scare you when I’m not trying to. But when I wanted to earlier, you walked into me and almost knocked me over.” Jeongyeon laughed.

‘Hey, I apologized for that!” She sat back down on the bench. “How was your session with Dr. Hong?”

“Exhausting,” Jeongyeon sighed. “She has new exercises for me, and let me tell you, they suck.”

Dahyun chucked, “Yeah, but they’ll be worth it in the end.”

“That’s such a doctor reply,” Jeongyeon leaned back into the bench with a groan.

“Hey, you’ll get there, Jeongyeon.”

“I know, I know,” Jeongyeon nodded. “What are you doing out here anyway?”

Dahyun took a quiet breath, “Just getting some fresh air. You don’t get much inside that place.”

“I know. Some nurse always forced me outside with her on days like this, claiming the sunshine would do me good.”

“She sounds smart,” Dahyun smiled softly under her mask, the corner of her upper lip peeking out.

“More like annoying,” Jeongyeon smirked at her. “Hey, why are your eyes red?” She pulled back Dahyun’s hood a little. “You look like you’ve been crying,” her voice filled with worry now.

Dahyun quickly wiped her eyes again, pulling her hood back up. “No, no, I’m fine.” She answered too quickly and Jeongyeon could tell she was lying. 

“Dahyun, what’s wrong?” Suddenly Seungwan’s words played in her head again,  _ “she has a very big heart, but that just means it hurts more when it’s broken,” _ Jeongyeon put her hand on Dahyun’s shoulder.

“I lost a patient today.” Her voice was quiet, and cracked as she spoke. She was fighting tears again.

“Oh, Dahyun, I’m so sorry-”

“It’s stupid, I should be used to this by now. I’ve been a nurse on this floor for two years now, I’ve lost patients before-”

“It’s not stupid, Dahyun. I can’t imagine your job, having to see patients die, not being able to save them. That’s not something you just get used to. But, you’re an incredible nurse! Think of all the lives you helped save.”

“If I was so incredible, I would have been able to save them too.” She looked down, refusing to make eye contact with Jeongyeon who kept singing her praises at something she didn’t think she deserved praises for. 

“Dahyun, that’s not true-”

“It is, Jeongyeon! If I hadn’t have been so distracted lately, I would have caught the blood clot sooner. I could have saved her!” Dahyun’s voice shocked her as she yelled her final words. “I could have saved her, Jeongyeon.” She repeated herself, this time soft and tear filled. 

Jeongyeon didn’t know what to say, so she pulled her into a hug and let her cry on her shoulder. She couldn’t help but notice the irony of them switching positions. Usually it was Jeongyeon doing the crying on Dahyun’s shoulder. 

“Whether you believe it or not, Dahyun, you are an incredible nurse. You have such a big heart and you care so much for your patients. I honestly don’t think I’d be here if it weren’t for you. So you may not have saved you patient in there, but you sure as hell saved me.” She pulled away from the hug and wiped a tear from Dahyun’s cheek. 

Dahyun sniffed. “It’s so hard sometimes, Jeongyeon. I just feel like I don’t belong here, like I shouldn’t be a nurse. I’ve lost three patients in the past week, I don’t think I can take it anymore.” She ran her hand through her hair, pulling her hood off in the process.

“Think of all the patients you’ve saved. That number is much greater. And more important. You’ve helped countless people. I can’t imagine how hard it is to lose a patient, but I know what it’s like to lose loved ones, and I never once blamed the nurse or doctors. You do everything you can, but sometimes, it’s not enough because it’s their time to go. You can’t help that.”

Dahyun’s breathing steadied as she sniffed and wiped her tears away some more. “Thank you, Jeongyeon.” She didn’t look up.

“It’s the least I can do with how many times I cried on you,” she smiled at her friend, tilting her head down to look at Dahyun. 

“You still owe me at least three more then, if we’re making it even,” Dahyun said looking back at her.

“You counted how many times I cried on you?!” Jeongyeon pushed her shoulder.

_ “No, just how many times I got to hold you.” _ Dahyun stayed quiet, refusing to say what she wanted to.

A black car pulled up and Jeongyeon recognized it as Mina’s. She rolled down the window and waved to her. “Get in loser, we’re going shopping.” She yelled from the driver’s seat. Jeongyeon smiled over to her best friend, but turned her attention back to the friend sitting next to her coming down from a breakdown. 

“Are you okay, Dahyun?”

“I’ll be okay. I should get back inside anyway. Thank you, really.” She hugged Jeongyeon. 

“Hey, if you want to schedule that next breakdown session that I apparently owe you, just call me, okay?” She said as she pulled away from the hug, starting to stand up. Dahyun just smiled and watched her get in Mina’s car. She took a deep breath and headed back inside the hospital. 

“Who was that?” Mina asked as she got in the car. 

“Just a friend, mom, jeez!” Jeongyeon joked. “She was my nurse, Dahyun, the one I told you who really helped me a lot in the hospital. I owe a lot to her.”

“Oh,” Mina said as they drove away. “She’s cute.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You ever know how you're gonna start a fic, and how you're going to end it, but that middle part just won't write itself? That's where I've been and I'm so sorry. Apparently though, when in doubt, just add more angst. that's my philosophy anyway.   
I really want to give a quick thank you (as always) to everyone supporting this and reading this and sending me messages. I really love you all and appreciate everything!  
socials @marksgasoline


	14. Strawberry Friends

“I’m sorry I’ve been so busy lately,” Jihyo said through the phone. Nayeon sat on the counter in her kitchen, her legs swinging back and forth. It was another late night after a day full of fansigns and promotions. She was lonely and bored. Of course during the day, she had her fans with her, and her managers, but when she got home at night, it was too quiet for her liking. She hated the quiet, always has, but even more so now as it just reminded her of how alone she was. So when Jihyo called, she answered the phone before the second ring. 

“No, don’t apologize, you’re preparing for your comeback. I can’t wait to hear it, by the way!” Nayeon swung her legs out in front of her. “I may be an idol now, but I’ll always be a Jihyonator before anything else.” She could hear Jihyo’s laugh on the other end of the phone.

“I can’t believe that was the name my fans picked for themselves. They had so many better options, but they voted on Jihyonators.” Nayeon could almost hear her eye roll in the tone of her voice. Of course, she was still laughing, though.

“I wonder what my fans will call themselves. I should start thinking of names for them.”

“I saw a few fansites refer to themselves so far at Nayeon Nation.”

“Nayeon Nation, I like that. It’s like I’m their ruler.” Nayeon sat up straighter. “Queen Nayeon, if you will.”

“Don’t get too cocky. I’m still reigning queen in Kpop,” Jihyo said, blowing a kiss into her phone microphone. “I also saw NaHyo trending on twitter the other day. Apparently they miss us,” Jihyo laughed again. 

“Oh god, they already have a ship name for us?”

“Of course! It is twitter stans, they waste no time.”

“I wonder what they would have called Jeongyeon and I? Would they have liked Jeongyeon?” Nayeon asked quietly, thinking to herself.

“They sure liked the idea of her in your Vlive the other night. As much as they were convinced it was me who wrote you all those songs.”

“You watched that?!” Nayeon jumped down from the counter. 

“I wouldn’t miss my biggest fans first Vlive,” Jihyo’s smirk could be heard in her voice.

“I wouldn’t say I’m that big a fan of you,” Nayeon stuck her tongue out. “But thank you for watching it.”

“I sent some comments, I hope you saw them.”

“Oh my god, what did you say?!” Nayeon put her phone on speaker and opened up her app to try and scroll through comments.

“I asked where Jihyo was and when you would see her again, saying Nahyo was cute.”

“You’re so annoying.” Nayeon closed out her app and put the phone back to her ear, taking Jihyo off speaker. She leaned back against the counter. 

“I also said that your song is amazing, and I’d always support you and be a fan. I really wanted you to notice me, but you didn’t respond to me at all,” Jihyo pouted with a whine, breaking into a smile quickly after. 

“It’s only fair, you never noticed me on any of your lives.”

“You watched my lives?” Jihyo asked quickly.

“Of course, I am your biggest fan,” Nayeon said in a mocking tone.

Xx

“Jeong, let’s go, we’re going to be late!” Mina yelled from the kitchen. Jeongyeon huffed in response from Mina’s bedroom, opening the door.

“Hey, I’m still crippled and I struggle sometimes with my pants, give me a few minutes,” Jeongyeon said, buttoning her jeans and fixing her shirt.

“Let’s go slowpoke, I don’t want to be late,” Mina went over and grabbed her hand, pulling her to the door. Jeongyeon quickly grabbed her cane and made her way out of the apartment, hand in hand with Mina. 

“Aren’t we early? She doesn’t get off the plane until 5:30.” Jeongyeon looked at her phone, reading the time. “And it’s only 2:00. It doesn’t take that long to get there.”

“Hey, I haven’t seen Chae in like six months, can I help it that I miss her?” Mina pressed the down arrow for the elevator, that was finally up and running again, only after a few hundred complaints from Mina and Jeongyeon alone.

“I miss her too, but I’m not willing to break my leg just to get there an hour early and have to wait around in a busy airport.” Jeongyeon pursed her lips at Mina, who pressed the lobby button repeatedly.

“There might be traffic, I just don’t want her waiting around for us,” Mina retorted. “Shut up,” She said as Jeongyeon continued to just stare at her.

“You don’t still have a crush on her, do you?” Jeongyeon asked with her eyebrow raised. 

“No, no,” Mina answered quickly. “I just miss her.”

“Mina, I thought you got over that crush. You told me it wasn’t serious,” Jeongyeon turned to look more seriously at Mina now. 

“I promise Jeong, I told myself that our friendship was more important. It was a silly crush, I’m over it. I wouldn’t even have called it a crush, it was so short lied and stupid.” Mina smiled reassuringly at Jeongyeon. “I just really missed her while she was gone. Just like I really missed you,” She wrapped her arm around Jeongyeon’s shoulders. They got off the elevator and made their way outside of the building and to Mina’s car. 

“If you say so, I just don’t want you getting hurt.” Jeongyeon opened the door to Mina’s car and got in the passenger seat.

“I won’t, I promise.” Mina turned her car on. “Chae is just my friend.” She turned on the radio and they drove away towards the airport. 

Xx

The two weren’t as early as Jeongyeon thought they’d be, but they weren’t as late as Mina was afraid they’d be. They got there with twenty minutes to spare and they waited by the gate for her plane. Mina held a makeshift sign that had Chaeyoung’s name on it. Jeongyeon waited by her, a box of chocolate strawberries in her hands. 

After awhile, the crowd grew and soon people started filing in. Mina stood on her toes looking for their short friend amongst the growing crowd. Jeongyeon spotted her amidst the crowd and poked Mina’s side, pointing in Chaeyoung’s direction. They both waved, trying to catch her attention, Mina still holding the sign in her hands, but waving it around so it was probably not as legible as it could have been had she kept it still. 

Chaeyoung eventually spotted them and ran over. She engulfed them both into a hug as she reached them, nearly knocking Jeongyeon over. Luckily, she still gripped her cane and caught herself before hugging her back. 

“It’s good to see you too Chaeng,” Jeongyeon said into her now much shorter hair.

“Jeong!” Chaeyoung pulled back. “You’re walking!” She looked at Jeongyeon then her cane and back at her. 

“I’m walking,” Jeongyeon smiled. “And you cut your hair.”

“I did! Do you like it?” She was bouncy with excitement.

“I love it,” Mina said, picking up a strand and dropping it. “You’ve always looked good with your hair short.”

Chaeyoung smiled and went to thank her, but she saw the strawberries Jeongyeon was holding and went for those instead. 

“Are those for me?” She asked with a wiggle in her eyebrows.

“Yes, my strawberry loving friend, they are for you.” Jeongyeon answered, handing the box over. Chaeyoung instantly opened it and took a bite out of one. “Let’s go back to the car so we’re not blocking everyone and then we can catch up,” Jeongyeon said, noticing the group of people standing behind her. “I want to hear all about London.”

“Oh my God, London is amazing. I have so much to tell you guys!”

The three friends made their way back to Mina’s car and helped Chaeyoung load her luggage into the trunk. As they drove off, Chaeyoung was already talking a mile a minute, sharing stories about her time away, about her gallery, and everything else that came across her mind.

“But the best part of my trip, was the girl I met. She’s so beautiful and perfect, it’s like I met an angel.” She continued on, sharing every detail of the girl she met. Jeongyeon grew quieter in the front seat. “She’s from Taiwan, but she’s fluent in Korean, and get this, she was there filming for a movie. I guess she’s an up-and-coming actress. And she wanted to date me! We met at the coffee shop near my studio and I swear I fell in love. I asked her out right then, and she said yes! I couldn’t believe it! She’s coming back once she’s done filming next week and I want you both to meet her. She said we could throw a home-coming party for both of us and we can get our friends to meet. Isn’t she perfect?” Chaeyoung continued rambling and Jeongyeon grew more silent. Mina glanced over at Jeongyeon with a knowing look then glanced in the mirror back at Chaeyoung, who spotted her and instantly caught herself. “Ah, shit, I’m sorry Jeong, I didn’t mean...I-” She stumbled in her apology.

“No, don’t apologize. I’m happy for you, I’m glad you found someone.” Jeongyeon picked at her nails. She was happy, but hearing Chaeyoung gush about her new love made her only miss Nayeon more.

“Yeah, but I don’t mean to like, rub it in…” Chaeyoung paused. “How are you doing? How’s your leg?”

“It’s fine. I’m fine. I don’t want you to hold back for my sake. I’m getting through, but I’m really glad your happy. I can’t wait to meet her. What did you say her name was?” Jeongyeon turned around in her seat to face her bubbly friend behind her. 

“Tzuyu,” she answered more quietly, but a smile stayed plastered on her face as she said her name. “Chou Tzuyu.”

“I like that name,” Mina said, interrupting the quiet that was beginning to form. 

“I’ve told her a lot about you guys, she’s really excited to meet you.” Caheyoung smiled in the mirror at Mina, then looked at Jeongyeon, still smiling. “I’m glad you’re walking again. I really missed you and I was really worried about you. I’m sorry I didn’t come home sooner.”

“You’re home now,” Jeongyeon smiled, reaching her hand out to hold Chaeyoung’s. “I missed you too, but I would have felt guilty if you had left early. Then who knows if you would have met Tzuyu.” Chaeyoung giggled. She couldn’t help it, she was in deep.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Still, I’m glad to finally be home with you two.” She kept her hand in Jeongyeon’s, but used her free hand to reach forward and hold Mina’s shoulder. “I love you guys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this super quick before I had to leave for my brother's house for our Christmas party, but I was determined to get another chapter up for a Christmas present! It's kind of filler, but hopefully you like it. Soon will be Chae and Tzuyu's party, where I have a lot planned! So get ready.  
Happy Holidays to everyone who celebrates, and those who don't, happy end of 2019. Here's to a great 2020!  
Socials @Marksgasoline


	15. Code Black

Jeongyeon made her way into the hospital, making her way down the hallway yet again. It’s become a routine now, she’d arrive half an hour early, meet up with Dahyun for a coffee break, then she’d make her way to physical therapy. Today wasn’t any different as she made her way down the familiar hallway towards the nurses desk. Dahyun wasn’t there, but a nurse she recognized as Seulgi was leaning against the counter, reading what must have been a report. Jeongyeon checked her phone, Dahyun did say she was working today in their texts last night, and that she’d wait for her by the nurses station. Jeongyeon wasn’t worried though, she also knew Dahyun had patients and that she could be busy. She knew how important it was to Dahyun to be with her patients as much as she could. After their talk last week, and their continued texts to each other, she could tell Dahyun felt lost in her job and was doing everything she could to protect her patients and get to know them as much as she could. It was admirable to Jeongyeon how much Dahyun cared about every single person she met. She really was an angel in Jeongyeon’s eyes. 

She leaned against the counter, a short distance from Seulgi, but close enough that Seulgi noticed her. Without looking up, she slid a folded paper over to Jeongyeon.

“She had an emergency and asked whoever was at the desk when you arrived, that we give this to you,” Seulgi said, still reading her paper. “It’s been a chaotic day, though.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I can go-” Jeongyeon started.

“Don’t. I’m sure she still wants to see you.” Seulgi looked up from her report. “I don’t know what the note says, but maybe wait a bit for her, she might be down soon.” She tapped the papers on the counter, making them into a neat stack. Jeongyeon just nodded in response. When Seulgi bowed her head and left, Jeongyeon unfolded the paper in her hands.

It was a little sloppy, she could tell Dahyun wrote it in a hurry. As Seulgi said, she had an emergency. She hoped everything was okay. 

_ Jeongyeon, _

_ Sorry if I’m late. I’m not sure how coffee will work out today, we had a code black last night. If I’m not out before your session, I’m sorry. I’ll text you when I can.  _

It was short, and to be honest, Jeongyeon didn’t know what a code black was, but with the urgency in her writing, she could tell it was something more serious. She worried for Dahyun. She still had twenty minutes before she had to meet Dr. Hong, so she stayed at the desk, hoping Dahyun would catch a break long enough to even just say hi. If she’s been here since last night, she must be exhausted. 

While she waited, she could hear some of the hustle and bustle of the hospital around her. She never really took the time to see everything that went on. While she was here, she just stayed in her room, or wherever Dahyun made her go. Watching everything around her, she was amazed. They all moved so fast. She didn’t understand half the terms she managed to overhear, not that she was actively eavesdropping, but it was amazing nonetheless.

A few minutes passed and Seungwan walked by, stopping a few meters from her at the counter. 

“Did anyone give you Dahyun’s note?” She asked, shuffling a few papers in her hands.

“Yes, thank you,” Jeongyeon nodded. 

“Dahyun is very busy. We all are, but she kind of got the brunt of the patients. Her shift ends in the next few hours though,” Seungwan smiled and walked away with a hurry in her step. Jeongyeon worried what a code black was if everyone she saw was so urgent. Clearly, any codes weren’t good, but black must be one of the worse ones. 

Jeongyeon checked the time on her phone and realized she only had three minutes until she had to be downstairs for physical therapy. She quickly, or as quickly as she could, made her way to the elevator and pressed the down arrow. She kept her phone in her hand, and as she entered the elevator, it vibrated with a text.

_ “I’m sorry I missed you. Seungwan said you were waiting, but I must have just missed you. Good luck at PT, hopefully she doesn’t hurt you too much this time.” _

Jeongyeon replied, leaning against the back of the elevator, keeping her cane next to her. 

_ “Don’t worry about it, your job is more important. Are you okay? A code black sounds bad, I hope everything’s alright.” _

She didn’t expect a reply right away, but as she got off the elevator, her phone vibrated again. 

_ “I’m okay, just tired. It’s been a long day. Sorry, got tot og”  _

Jeongyeon normally would have laughed at the typo, but it was clear she was typing in a rush. She replied back quickly before entering the room.

_ “Coffee after your shift? I can ask Mina to pick me up later. Maybe we can go to a real coffee house and not the cafeteria downstairs 😂” _

She was worried about Dahyun, it was clearly a very long and very busy shift. A lot must be happening upstairs, but she had no time to worry as Dr. Hong threw her right into stretches. 

Xx

Her session went as normal, a few of the usual stretches, a few new ones. She used the traction machine again, which was always so weird, but proved to be helpful in the long run. 

“How are you feeling about getting rid of the cane soon?” Dr. Hong asked as their session ended. Jeongyeon must have made a face because Dr. Hong chuckled. “You don’t have to if you feel more comfortable with it, but I do think every now and then, maybe just around your house, you could try to not use it, maybe build up some more strength in your legs and back. You’re making incredible progress, Miss Yoo. There’s not many in your position that would be this far along as you are right now.” Dr. Hong smiled at her. 

“Thank you, Dr. Hong. I’ll try to not use it as much, but I do feel more comfortable with it. I’m not sure how long my legs will feel stable without it.”

“Trust in your body, Miss Yoo. Remember to listen to it, do whatever you body tells you it needs. And we’ll reconvene at your next session next week.” She bowed and left the room. 

Jeongyeon massaged her thigh, a habit she’s adapted the last few sessions, working out the slight pain in her leg before getting up. She went over to her bag, grabbing that and her phone, checking the messages left on it. She had three from Mina and one from Dahyun. She read Mina’s first.

_ “I might be a little late, I’m sorry Jeong. Chaeng is trying to buy decorations for the house party for when Tzuyu comes in. She wants to surprise her, but she can’t make a decision on anything. I regret letting her drag me along...”  _

_ “She said she would come to get you once she decides the colour scheme. That was twenty minutes ago 😩” _

_ “She says she’s sorry and to not hate us. I’ll hate her enough for both of us, don’t worry.” _

Jeongyeon laughed at her phone. She’s seen Chaeyoung infatuated with someone before, and she has always been over the top, but she could tell this was more than infatuation with Tzuyu. She couldn’t wait to meet her next weekend. She hoped she was as good for Chaeng as she made her out to be. Chaeng only deserved the best, as she was the best. 

_ “Don’t worry about it, Mina. I might try to see Dahyun after her shift, so tell Chaeng to take as much time as she needs” _

She then opened up Dahyun’s text.

_ “I would love that, but I have to pick a friend up from the airport in a few hours, so I won’t really have much time 😭” _

_ “No worries, Dahyun. I’ll meet you upstairs whenever you’re ready. My treat for coffee today, you need it” _

_ “Nooo! Don’t tell her that, Jeong, she will take all day!” _

Jeongyeon laughed at Mina’s text as it came through.

_ “Thanks, bro. I promise I won’t take too long, I just want this perfect for Tzuyu. She’s so perfect 😍” _

Jeongyeon read Chaeyoung’s text as she grabbed her cane and made her way towards the elevator to head upstairs to Dahyun. 

_ “Mina is yelling at me again...” _

_ “She said I’m an obnoxious girlfriend 😭😭😭” _

_ “She said she’s never going shopping with me again” _

_ “Jokes on her, I’m going to need her car when we get all the food for the party!” _

_ “Oh no, she’s reading over my shoulder” _

_ “She walked away.” _

_ “Jeong! Help me!” _

Her texts came in rapid fire, as most texts from Chaeng did. She just let her text, she wouldn't reply until the end.

_ “We are not using my car. Jeongyeon, please talk to her, I can’t do this anymore, I’m going to strangle her.” _

Now she was getting texts from both of them.

_ “JEONG SHE HIT ME” _

_ “JEONG” _

_ “JEONGYEON HELP” _

_ “She’s so mean 😭” _

_ “I am not mean, she’s just annoying.” _

Jeongyeon decided it was best to just ignore the two of them. They’d work it out eventually. She made her way to the nurses station and leaned against the counter again, laughing at the multiple texts filling up her phone.

“I’m finally free.” The voice startled Jeongyeon, who was entranced in her phone, smiling.

“Oh god, Dahyun, you scared me!” Jeongyeon put her phone in her pocket in her hoodie.

“You looked very giggly over here, I almost didn’t want to disturb you,” Dahyun said.

“My friends are texting me about each other while they’re shopping together. It’s a whole mess, but it’s very entertaining to read.”

“I can tell,” Dahyun laughed, but it quickly turned into a yawn. 

“You look exhausted, Dahyun. You should really go home and sleep.”

“No, no, I want to get some coffee with you. I missed it earlier. Plus, I need a coffee. Maybe two.” She yawned again.

“Maybe three,” Jeongyeon pressed her lips together to stop from laughing. 

“It’s been a long day…”

“Then let’s get going.” She grabbed Dahyun’s hand and made their way toward the elevator. Dahyun looked down at their hands, clasped together, and turned her face away as she felt it growing warmer. Luckily, Jeongyeon didn’t look back at her.

Xx

“So what exactly is a code black?” Jeongyeon asked as they sat, coffees in hands, at the small cafe down the street from the hospital. They found a couch in the corner of the place, unoccupied, and grabbed it immediately. Dahyun leaned back into the throw pillows, taking a sip of her coffee, trying to not let her eyes drift shut. 

“It’s when the amount of patients outweighs the staff, basically. They called me in last night, so I worked a double on only a few hours of sleep, just about.” She took another sip, trying to get as much caffeine in her body as she could without burning her mouth.

“Oh,” Jeongyeon felt awful. “You should go home and sleep then, don’t let me keep you here-”

“No, no, I want to be here.” She sat up quickly, some of her coffee spilling out on her leg. “Ah, crap.”

Jeongyeon handed her some napkins that were on the table in front of them, trading the napkins for the coffee cup in Dahyun’s hands so she could clean the small spill. When she finished, she handed her coffee mug back to her.

“I want to be here. Plus, if I go home and sleep, I won’t wake up in time to get my friend from the airport.”

“That’s right, you mentioned that.” Jeongyeon took a sip.

“It’s been a few months since I’ve seen her, I really miss her, so I’m excited to see her. Plus she told me she has exciting news to tell me, but she couldn’t say it over the phone.”

Jeongyeon smiled at Dahyun as she rambled on about her friend.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Dahyun stopped. She tried not to blush or be nervous, but the way Jeongyeon was watching her, with that cute smile on her face, she couldn’t help it.

“In the past few months, I’ve never really heard you talk about your friends, this is nice. I feel like I’m always the one talking. Or crying rather.” Jeongyeon chuckled at herself. “We keep switching positions.”

“Well you never really let me talk, between all your crying,” Dahyun joked back, hoping it wasn’t taken too seriously. Of course Jeongyeon didn’t take it seriously.

“Hey, I was a cripple going through heartbreak, what did you expect?” She laughed back. It was a weird laugh though. She was joking about her heartbreak as if it wasn't there, but deep inside, it still felt like a knife was jabbed through her heart. She had to change the topic before she started thinking about it too much and it would revert back to hospital days, where she would find herself crying on Dahyun’s shoulder. “So what time do you have to get your friend from the airport?”

“Her flight gets in around 6:00, so I have about an hour or two before I should head out there.” Dahyun could sense the quick change in topic, and she felt bad for inadvertently bringing Nayeon up. She knew it was still a touchy topic, and she avoided it when she could, for many reasons, but the most important being that she only wanted Jeongyeon to talk about it when she was comfortable enough to. She took notice of that with their time together in the hospital, that Jeongyeon would talk about things when she needed to, and would avoid the topic otherwise. 

The two friends continued to sip on their coffee, as it was cooler now and they could enjoy it without burning their mouths. 

Jeongyeon’s phone buzzed with a text. She took out her phone and glanced at it, seeing it was from Mina. 

_ “Are you still with Dahyun? Chaeng is still searching, but I will force her to leave if you’re waiting for us at the hospital. Please.” _

Jeongyeon chuckled, she could tell Mina was done with Chaeyoung. But she was enjoying her time with Dahyun. She quickly typed out her reply.

_ “No worries, Mina” _

“Sorry, my friends are still arguing through text. It’s actually kind of entertaining,” Jeongyeon laughed. “But it doesn’t look like they’ll be leaving anytime soon, so I might be stuck at this coffee house for awhile.”

“Do you want a ride home?” Dahyun asked, finishing her last drop of coffee. 

“No, you have to get your friend, I wouldn’t want you to be late or anything-”

“Jeongyeon, I still have another hour before I have to leave, it’s absolutely no problem.” She stood up, taking out her keys from her bag. “Come on, I’m taking you home.” She held out her hand to help Jeongyeon up, but when she held onto it afterwards, she couldn’t help the blush spreading across her cheeks. Luckily, Jeongyeon was looking down at her cane so she had time to turn away and cool down her face. 

“Thank you, Dahyun. I’ll let Mina know she can take as much time at the store with Chaeyoung as she needs,” she laughed to herself, knowing Mina would hate her for not saving her. 

Jeongyeon gave directions to Dahyun as they drove back to her apartment. When they arrived, Jeongyeon unbuckled her seatbelt and started to get out, but noticed Dahyun stayed put.

“You’re not coming up? I thought you said you had about an hour left?” Jeongyeon asked, door half open.

“Oh, uh, yeah I can come up,” Dahyun stuttered. 

“Have you eaten today? I can make you something?” Jeongyeon asked as Dahyun got out of the car.

“I had a few snacks on break, but I’m all set, you don’t have to make me anything.”

“You should eat something, you were at work for how long?”

“Too long,” Dahyun said with a deep sigh. She followed Jeongyeon to the elevator and up to her apartment. 

“Let me at least make you Ramyun,” Jeongyeon said as they got inside. 

“You really don’t have to,” Dahyun said, walking inside.

“Well, I’m starving and I’m not going to just eat in front of you, so at least split it with me,” Jeongyeon laughed. She made her way into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of Ramyun from the cupboard. She turned to fill it with water and noticed Dahyun just standing there. “You can make yourself at home, Dahyun. Please,” she smiled. 

Dahyun made her way to the couch and sat down as Jeongyeon finished making the cup of Ramyun. She brought it over to Dahyun when she finished, and sat down next to her, handing her a pair of chopsticks. 

“Thank you,” Dahyun said, taking a bite almost instantly. 

“I knew you were hungry,” Jeongyeon said with a mouth full of noodles. 

“Shut up, it was a long day.” Dahyun took another bite. 

“Are you okay?” Jeongyeon asked, putting the cup down on the coffee table. She folded her legs to face Dahyun more. “I promised you another breakdown session, and I can tell you had a really rough day. Even nurse Seungwan said you had the brunt of the patients.”

“I’ve been better, but I’m okay.” Dahyun leaned forward, taking another bite from the cup of noodles. “I’ll save that breakdown session for a raincheck.”

“Really, are you sure?”

“I promise. I’m sorry I worried you like that last week, it was silly of me to overreact like that.”

“Dahyun, you weren’t overreacting.” She reached forward and placed her hand on Dahyun’s knee. 

Dahyun took a deep breath to steady her breathing. “Thank you, Jeongyeon. I’m okay though. It was rough last night into this morning, but all my patients pulled through.”

“Okay, well as long as you promise. I won’t pry. I’m glad your patients are okay.” Jeongyeon removed her hand and Dahyun’s knee instantly felt colder. 

Dahyun smiled and nodded. She looked over at the clock behind Jeongyeon and noticed the time. “Oh, I’m sorry, but I really should go. I have to get to the airport.” She quickly stood up, but leaned forward and took one last bite of noodles. “Thank you, really Jeongyeon. It means a lot that we stayed close after you were released. I’m glad we could do this.”

Jeongyeon smiled. “You get so sappy sometimes,” she poked fun. “I’m glad too. I care about you Dahyun, you’ve truly become a close friend of mine.” She stood up to walk Dahyun to the door. 

Before they could get to the door, it swung open and a giddy Chaeyoung and a tired Mina walked in, carrying way too many bags.

“No, you are not using my car without me, and you need to wait at least three days before asking me to go shopping with you again.” Mina said as they walked into the apartment. She placed the bags she was holding down against the wall next to her, slipping her shoes off.

“Hey, I just want this to be perfect for-” Chaeyoung cut herself off, seeing the stranger in her apartment. “Oh, hi,” she looked over at Jeongyeon.

“Chaeng, this is Dahyun, she was my favourite nurse at the hospital,” Jeongyeon introduced. 

“Oh, the Dahyun,” Chaeyoung went over to shake her hand. 

“And I don’t think you’ve actually met Mina yet,” Jeongyeon said, nodding over to Mina who stayed with the bags she put down. Mina smiled shyly and walked over. 

“It’s nice to meet you two, I heard a lot about you in the hospital,” Dahyun said, nodding to both of them. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you as well. I’ve been wanting to say thank you,” Mina said.

“Thank you?” Dahyun was confused.

“For taking such good care of our Jeong while she was there. I’m not sure if she’d admit it, but it meant a lot to her.” Jeongyeon playfully slapped Mina’s arm. 

“Hey, I thanked her!” Jeongyeon said. 

“Well, good, but I want to thank her as well since I couldn’t be here,” Mina smiled.

“Yeah, me too,” Chaeyoung chimed in. “We were really worried about Jeongie over here, but I felt more comfortable knowing someone was taking care of her.”

Dahyun blushed lightly and smiled shyly. “It’s all part of the job,” she replied.

“Oh shush,” Jeongyeon shoved her arm. “While these introductions are nice and sweet, and you all sure love talking about me and my troubles, she actually has to go.” Dahyun nodded at Jeongyeon.

“I’m sorry. It was really nice meeting you two finally though.” Dahyun bowed to each of them. 

“You two seem close,” Mina said as the door shut behind Dahyun after she left. 

“She did help save my life,” Jeongyeon picked up one of Chaeyoung’s many bags.

“She’s not…” Chaeyoung started but instantly regretted talking out loud.

“What?” Jeongyeon stopped.

“Look, I don’t mean this in the way it’s going to come out.” Jeongyeon studied her as she chose what words to say. “But she’s not, like, someone to help you, you know, after Nayeon…” Her words trailed off.

“A rebound? Is that what you’re asking? If Dahyun is a rebound?” Jeongyeon asked, clearly offended. “You’re asking if the nurse who saved my life and stayed with me through everything is just a rebound for me to get over the girl that I’m still in love with and still cry about every night?”

“Jeong, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Chaeyoung, I still can’t go into my room because Nayeon’s things are still in there. I can’t even think about Nayeon without a pain in my chest worse than the pain after my accident. I am not using Dahyun as a rebound. She’s a friend. A close friend that really helped me through this summer, and still does.”

“Jeongyeon, really, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry!” Chaeyoung apologize, unsure of whether to not to walk close to Jeongyeon. She saw the tears pooling in the corners of Jeongyeon’s eyes and wanted desperately to hug her. 

“I get it, you’re watching out for me.” Jeongyeon’s voice was much softer now and Chaeyoung took the chance to hug Jeongyeon tightly. “But I promise you, we are nothing more than good friends. I wouldn’t do that. I couldn’t do that.” She spoke softly into Chaeyoung’s hair, as Chaeyoung refused to let go. 

Mina walked over and joined the hug, her hand resting on Jeongyeon’s head, smoothing her hair. 

“We know that.” Mina said.

“I don’t want to get over Nayeon. I just want her back. And every day I’m faced with the reality that that is never going to happen.”

Mina and Chaeyoung glanced at each other through the hug before pulling Jeongyeon closer and not letting go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year. Here's long chapter I stayed up until 3am writing because I feel guilty about not finishing this when I wanted to.


	16. Is This Really a Good Idea?

“Do you really think it’s a good idea, Chaeng?” Mina asked, her voice quiet. The two sat in the living room of Mina’s apartment. 

“Yeah, I do,” Chaeyoung nodded. 

“She’s going to hate us,” Mina sighed, leaning back into the couch.

“Oh, she’ll totally hate us, but it’s the only way at this point. She needs to talk to her.” Chaeyoung kept her voice quiet, afraid of waking up Jeongyeon who was finally asleep in Mina’s bed.

“But surprising the two of them together like this? Should we really pry?” Mina hugged her penguin pillow closer. “I just don’t want to upset Jeongyeon more. And we don’t know how Nayeon is with everything. I’ve tried calling her, but she won’t answer and I don’t know if it’s the debut or because she knows how close Jeongyeon and I are.”

“I’ve tried too. They’re both really good at avoiding things, which is why I think we need to do this.” Chaeyoung said. “I know you’re nervous about it-”

“I just don’t want to upset Jeongyeon even more. She thinks she hides it well, but I can see how upset she is every night. She waits until she thinks I’m asleep and she’ll cry herself to sleep. I don’t know how much more I can see her like this, it kills me inside.”

“Which is why we need to make them talk. And we know they won’t agree to do it on their terms, so we need to surprise them with it. Tzuyu’s party is the perfect place,” Chaeyoung said with a small smile.

"Yeah, I know you're right, I just hope it doesn't backfire on them."

"I hope it doesn't backfire on us, Jeongyeon is scary when she's mad." Chaeyoung said, remembering the look on Jeongyeon's face from last night. 

"Oh she's going to be mad." Mina said matter of factly. "The real problem though, how are we going to invite Nayeon since she’s been avoiding us as well. Plus she knows Jeongyeon and I are best friends, she won’t come if she knows Jeongyeon will be there."

"I thought about that, but she’s never been able to ignore my puppy eyes," Chaeng pouted, showing off her signature puppy eyes look. "She always called me her baby."

"But she’s already been ignoring you. Shes been avoiding both of us, not that I fully blame her, she did just debut."

"Exactly, she just debuted, and I managed to get in to her fanmeet tomorrow." Chaeyoung smiled proudly. 

"She’s going to hate us."

"So is Jeongyeon. It'll give them something to talk about." 

"If they talk…" Mina trailed off. 

"I will shove them and lock them in a closet if I have to. They are getting back together, I don't care. This whole breakup was stupid to begin with," Chaeyoung's voice grew louder and Mina tried to shush her.

"Don't wake her, Chaeng. I haven't seen her sleep this much since before we left."

"I just hate this, I hate seeing one of my best friends so distraught and depressed like this. I hate not seeing Nayeon because of this. I hate knowing that they aren’t together anymore even though I know they are both still in love with each other. I hate-"

"I know, Chaeng, I know. I hate it too. But they'll work it out. They have to. They're meant to be together." She held Chaeyoung's hand for comfort, her other arm still wrapped around her penguin pillow. 

"I hope so." Chaeyoung sat quietly for a moment. "You know, I told Tzuyu about them. About how in love they are and how I could only hope to someday have a love like theirs. That was our second date and she held my hand and had this smile that told me I would have their kind of love." Her voice faltered slightly at the end of her words. 

"You and Tzuyu will have your love, and Jeongyeon and Nayeon will have theirs again."

Chaeyoung leaned into Mina's side. "We need to get you a girlfriend."

"What?" Mina's voice cracked as she sat up, making Chaeng fall off of her shoulder.

"Dahyun was kind of cute, don't you think? She was kind of shy, which works for you. She’s definitely cute, and totally not straight. My gaydar has never been wrong before. I wonder if she's single. I'll have to ask Jeong later." Chaeyoung went on, more so to herself, as Mina’s mouth hung open, her face flushed. "Look at you blush! Oohhh Mina's gonna get herself a cute girlfriend!" Chaeyoung bounced up and down on her seat on the couch.

Mina shoved her and she stumbled off the couch. "The baby cub finds love and thinks she knows everything," she rolled her eyes, turning her head to cover her reddened cheeks. 

"Oh but I do," Chaeyoung peeked around at Mina from the floor. "At least about you I do. I know you blush when the thought of a cute girl comes up, and how your eyes go wide when you're embarrassed. Or how you turn around to not show that I'm right." The two kept spinning in a circle, Mina trying to not make eye contact with the girl who was calling her out, Mina trying to catch her eyes to prove she was right. "Mina likes Dahyun, Mina likes Dahyun, Mina likes-" she started singing but the creek of a door stopped her. 

"Who does Mina like?" Jeongyeon asked from Mina's doorway, her voice cracking with a yawn. Her hair was disheveled and her big purple hoodie wrapped tightly around her. 

"No one, nothing, I like no one, and I'm leaving now." Mina turned and walked towards the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

"You can't hide in there forever, just like you can't hide your crushes from me!" Chaeyoung yelled through the door.

"You're unbearable," Mina replied through the door, toothbrush in her mouth. 

"Hey, Jeong, I have a question for you. Your friend Dahyun, is she sing-" Chaeyoung started to ask, but the bathroom door swung open and Mina threw the roll of toilet paper at Chaeyoung.

"Go back to sleep, Jeong, Chaeng's losing her mind today, even more so than usual." Mina stood in front of Chaeng, blocking her view to Jeongyeon.

"Dahyun, is she si-" Mina turned around, covering Chaeyoung's mouth with her hand.

"Ew!" Mina removed her hand, wiping it on Chaeng's shirt. "You didn't have to lick me!"

"IsDahyunsingle?" Chaeyoung quickly blurted out before Mina could stop her again. Mina's eyes got wide and she turned around, hiding her face from both of her friends.

"I'm leaving again." Mina walked back into the bathroom and closed and locked the door.

"Oh, Mina, come on." Chaeyoung knocked on the door only to be ignored. "Mina, I was just messing with you, come on," Chaeng leaned against the door, jiggling the locked handle. 

The water turned on and it was clear that Mina was ignoring her now. 

"She is single, I believe. At least, she's never told me about anyone," Jeongyeon said to Chaeyoung once she got off the door. Jeongyeon looked more awake now and wasn't standing in the doorway to Mina's bedroom. 

Chaeyoung smiled brightly. "Operation get Mina a girlfriend is officially underway. You in, bro?" Chaeng put her first out towards Jeongyeon. Jeongyeon bumped her fist against Chaeng's in agreement.

"Finally," she said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I'm back! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I'm sorry, yet again, for the long wait. Please don't hate me.
> 
> socials @marksgasoline


	17. Nayeon's Fanmeet

Nayeon woke up to her alarm. Another night of restless sleep, just enough to get her through the day. She rolled over and pulled her blankets up closer to her, trying to get that last ounce of sleep before she absolutely had to be up. But her phone rang a minute later, interrupting her from her last few moments of peaceful slumber. 

“Uugghhhhh,” she groaned picking up her phone and looking at caller ID. It was Jihyo. She answered it with another groan. “Whhhhaaaaat?” She whined. 

“Wake up. I’m outside with a coffee for you. Let me in before I get spotted and dispatch writes another article about our secret love,” Jihyo said, ignoring Nayeon’s whines. 

“Five more minutes,” Nayeon whined back.

“Let me in, you bum!” Jihyo scolded.

Nayeon groaned in response, climbing off of her bed, and walking over to the door to buzz Jihyo in. She hung up and went back to her room and slumped over the side of her bed, her feet hanging off the side. 

“Did you really hang up on me?” Jihyo asked, taking her shoes off as she got inside. She went to Nayeon’s room and slapped her dangling feet, “Get up, you have a fanmeet today.”

“What are you my mom?” Nayeon asked, turning over to face her. 

“Might as well be,” Jihyo said rolling her eyes. She grabbed Nayeon’s hands and pulled her up so she was sitting on the edge of her bed. 

“You’re younger than me, you can’t be my mom.” Nayeon laid back down.

“Ah, but I’m still your senior, and your manager until she gets here.” Jihyo pulled her back up again, this time, making her stand up. She slapped her butt, pushing her towards the bathroom. “She called me and told me to make sure you were up and ready before she got here. Now, go get ready.” She handed her the coffee she was holding for her.

Nayeon groaned and shuffled her way to the bathroom to get washed up and dressed for the fanmeet later. She didn’t know why, but she almost dreaded this fansign. Most she was excited for, but this one, she just had this feeling that she didn’t want to go. She knew it was probably the lack of sleep, and she took a big sip of her coffee before turning on the water to wash her face. 

“So did you sleep any better last night?” Jihyo asked as she and Nayeon sat on Nayeon’s couch waiting for her manager to come pick her up.

“My alarm woke me up rather than me counting down the minutes before it went off, so I guess so?” She took another sip of her now cold coffee. The temperature didn’t matter to her, all she cared about was the caffeine. 

“Did you have the dream again?” Jihyo asked, her hand on Nayeon’s thigh. Nayeon just nodded. This dream has haunted her almost every night since Jeongyeon forced her out of her life. It wasn't so much a dream as it was a nightmare. A nightmare that she lived as reality every morning when she woke from reliving it. The memory plagued every ounce of Nayeon's waking and resting mind, of the moment Jeongyeon no longer wanted Nayeon in her life. “Nayeon, you really should talk to someone, if not someone, then talk to her.” Jihyo has said this multiple times in the past month, but every time Nayeon brushed it off. “Don’t just shrug, I mean it. Your health is at stake here. You aren’t sleeping, you either push yourself into too many activities to distract yourself and overwork yourself, or you coop yourself up alone. I know you have your idol face, and I know we really haven’t known each other that long, but I can see right through that idol face and I can see how bad you’re hurting still. If you keep this up, not only is your health on the line, but your career, and isn’t that exactly what she wanted to avoid? You need to talk to her, Nayeon.”

“I don’t want to talk about this right now, Jihyo, really.” Nayeon kept her face as still as stone, no emotion showing. She stared straight ahead at the wall, refusing to make eye contact. “I know you’re trying to help, but I can’t do this right now. Not before a fanmeet.”

“Alright, I get it. I’m sorry, I just want the best for you, okay? The few times I’ve gotten you to truly forget about everything, and I’ve seen you let loose and be you, I want to see that more. Even the Nayeon you put on stage for your fans, I want to see her off the stage.”

“Thank you, Jihyo.” Nayeon stood up from the couch to throw out her coffee and take a breather.  _ ‘I want to be that Nayeon again.’  _ She thought to herself as she walked towards the kitchen. 

“Hey,” Jihyo walked up behind her after a few minutes of Nayeon just standing in her kitchen, her hand holding her coffee as she just stared into nothing. “I’m sorry, I didn't-” Nayeon cut her off by holding up her hand. 

“I know, Jihyo. Thank you for caring so much. It means a lot to know someone truly cares about me.” She finally threw out her empty coffee cup and turned to face her friend. 

“I still think she cares about you too, Nayeon,” Jihyo said, placing her hand on Nayeon’s upper arm. She lightly caressed her arm with her thumb. 

“Please, Jihyo. Not right now. I can’t, not right now.” She rolled her shoulder back, shoving Jihyo’s hand off, and quickly made her way to the bathroom, her hand going up to her eyes to stop the tears she felt forming. 

Xx

The car ride was silent. Jihyo decided she would give Nayeon some space as she felt like she pushed a little too far earlier. She told her that if she was up for it, she’d meet up with her after her schedules today for some drinks. Jihyo didn’t have any major schedules today. She was waiting for the demo of her title track to be mixed before she could go back into the recording studio, and she only had one more song to write for the album, but that could wait for tomorrow. So Nayeon rode to her fansign alone with her manager, ignoring the thoughts that kept plaguing her mind. Ignoring Jihyo’s voice repeating over and over again,  _ ‘talk to her’ _ and  _ ‘I think she still cares about you too’ _ . 

She wasn’t angry with Jihyo, she didn’t think she could ever be angry with Jihyo. She knew that she was only trying to help, that’s just how Jihyo is, she’s always trying to help. Whether it be with Jeongyeon, singing, dancing, it didn’t matter, Jihyo was always helping. She may be younger, but she knew just how to take care of Nayeon, and she would be forever grateful to her for that. Especially for how she’s been taking care of her lately, when Nayeon needed it most. 

The car pulled into the venues parking garage and her manager got out first, opening the door for Nayeon. 

“You ready to go in?” She asked. Nayeon nodded and stepped out of the car, following her inside. She was early, naturally, but she was shocked to hear her fans already lined up outside. She peeked out of her dressing room window and saw the crowd gathered out front.

“Woah,” she said to herself.

“This is your biggest fan sign yet, are you excited?” Her manager asked, noticing Nayeon looking out the window. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this.” She turned around with a smile. Her manager smiled back.

“They’re letting them inside in the next half hour, which means there’s about an hour before you should be out there, do you need anything in the meantime?”

“I think I’m all set, thank you,” Nayeon nodded her head and sat down in the chair by the vanity. She double checked her hair and makeup, giving it a few touch ups here and there, but spent most of her time playing games on her phone to pass the time. 

An hour went by and her manager waved at her from the doorway. “The fans are ready when you are,” she smiled. 

Nayeon returned the smile and stood up, smoothing out her dress. She took a deep breath, calming the nerves she didn’t think she’d ever get rid of right before going on stage or meeting fans, and walked out to greet her fans. A big smile formed on her face as she heard the cheering. This was her dream becoming reality, and everytime she saw it, she couldn’t help but smile. 

The fanmeet went as usual, she sang a few songs, played a few games with the crowd, and met fans. She loved this the most about being an idol, meeting her fans and hearing their stories or whatever they wanted to share with her. 

One fan came up, she had a black hat on and her head was tilted down to hide her face.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” Nayeon greeted, noticing they must have been shy. The fan in front of her lifted her head up with a big smile. “Chaeyoung?!” Nayeon nearly yelled, but stopped remembering where she was. She put her idol face back on and lowered her voice. “Chaengie, is that really you?” 

“Nayeon, I’m such a huge fan, oh my gosh, I can’t believe I’m meeting my favourite idol!” Chaeyoung held out her album to Nayeon with a big smile on her face, holding back laughter. 

"You're such a dork." Nayeon couldn’t help but smile back. She missed Chaeyoung, and with everything that’s been going on, between debuting and the break up, she hasn’t had time to answer any of her calls. Or rather when she did have time, it’s when she realized that Chaeyoung and Mina were both good friends with Jeongyeon and she probably already told them everything and they were calling to talk about it. So instead she avoided them. But now she was torn because here Chaeyoung was, her favourite little artists, sitting in front of her after months of not seeing each other. “Chaengie, I’ve missed you, how are you?” Nayeon asked after a moment of quiet between the two.

“Shouldn’t the fan be asking the questions, here?” Chaeng joked. 

Nayeon’s manager walked by, giving a hint that the next person was ready.

“Nayeon, I have so much to tell you! I’m having a small party next weekend though, please tell me you can come by?” Chaeyoung got the hint and went straight to her puppy eyes to get Nayeon to come to Tzuyu’s party. 

“I-” Nayeon was taken aback. “I would love to Chaeng, but I don’t know, there’s a lot going on right now, and…” She trailed off. She knew Chaeyoung must know about Jeongyeon, but she wasn’t going to say anything about it here. “Meet me after the fanmeet, I’ll tell my manager to let you in the back, we can talk then.” Just then her manager waved Chaeyoung on, so Nayeon quickly signed her album and smiled with her idol face. “It was so nice to meet you, thank you for supporting me!” Nayeon said a little louder and got ready for her next fan. 

The rest of the afternoon she tried to focus on her fans, but could only think about Chaeyoung. Afterwards, she told her manager to let Chaeyoung back with her, telling her she was an old friend who came to visit her. So she waited patiently in her dressing room for Chaeyoung.

A small knock on the door indicated she was here, so Nayeon jumped up and let her in. 

“Chaengie!” She gave the smaller girl a big hug.

“Nayeon, I’ve missed you so much,” Chaeyoung hugged her back.

“I’ve missed you too, how was London?” Nayeon pulled away from the hug, but kept her hands in Chaeyoung’s.

“London was amazing!” Chaeyoung smiled, thinking of her time in London, more so thinking of Tzuyu. “How are you, Nayeon? I’m so happy for you, for your debut, you’ve worked so hard for this!”

“I can’t believe it, really. It’s all so surreal, but amazing.” She squeezed Chaeyoung’s hands before making her way to the couch behind her for Chaeyoung to follow. 

“I’m really so happy for you, you deserve this, Nayeon.” Chaeyoung sat next to her. There was a pause in their conversation and Chaeyoung wasn’t sure what to say. She wanted to ask how she was doing, but she was afraid of bringing up Jeongyeon. She knows how Jeongyeon is with everything, but to be honest, she was afraid Nayeon would be taking it worse. Jeongyeon ultimately made the decision, so she couldn’t imagine what Nayeon went through, or was still currently going through. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t really called you back, lately…” Nayeon said filling the silence. She wrung her hands together, anxiously.

“No, I get it, I mean, you’ve been so busy with this debut and...everything…” Chaeyoung nodded knowingly, hoping Nayeon would take the hint.

“I’m assuming you know by now?” Nayeon asked quietly.

Chaeyoung just nodded. “Are you okay?”

Nayeon opened her mouth to reply, but her phone went off. She looked down at the table where she left her phone and Jihyo’s name flashed across the screen.

“Is that Jihyo as in THE Jihyo? THE Park Jihyo?”

Nayeon just smiled, glancing quickly at the text from Jihyo.

_ You still up for drinks tonight? I can bring some by and we can just watch movies in our PJs. I’m sorry again for earlier. I love you Nay. _

Nayeon replied with a simple yes and kiss emoji, apologizing to Chaeng afterwards.

“I can’t believe you’re texting THE Park Jihyo!” Chaeyoung exclaimed. “Remember when we used to dance around to her debut album, and now you’re casually texting her, oh my god!”

Nayeon laughed, “yeah, it’s all so weird to think about, but Jihyo has been an amazing friend to my lately. She really is a wonderful person, I don’t know what I’d do without her by my side. She really helped a lot after-” Nayeon cut herself off, but Chaeyoung got the hint. 

“Hey, I’m sorry about everything, Nayeonnie.” Chaeyoung didn’t know what to say, but she put her hand on top of Nayeon’s and gave her a small look of comfort and understanding. She wanted desperately to tell her that Jeongyeon still loved her and that they should talk, but it wasn't up to her. It wasn't her place. That's what the party was for, to get the two of them in the same room again and hope that they finally work it all out. 

Nayeon just took a deep breath and kept her hand in Chaeyoung’s. It felt reassuring to have one of her best friends here comforting her after all this time. “You said you’re having a party next week?” Nayeon broke the silence. “Is it like a welcome home party? How long have you been home from London?”

“Kinda, but it’s not exactly for me…” Chaeyoung trailed off, unsure if she should bring up Tzuyu. When she did with Jeongyeon, she wound up making things awkward, and she didn’t want to brag about her amazing girlfriend to Nayeon, who was clearly still very hurt over her breakup. 

“Oh...I see. I’m glad she’s back home,” Nayeon said. Her voice was caught in her throat and her hand tightened in Chaeyoung’s. 

Chaeyoung was confused until she realized what Nayeon was thinking. She must have thought it was a party for Jeongyeon, not knowing that Jeongyeon was already released. Nayeon must have thought this was for her.

“Look, Chaeng, thanks for the invite, but I really don’t think I can go-”

“It’s for my girlfriend.” Chaeyoung interrupted quickly. She was losing her chance. 

Nayeon froze. “Girlfriend?” A small smile formed on her face as a large one formed on Chaeyoung’s. 

“I met her in London and she really wants to meet all of my friends. She’s coming back home, she’s actually from around here, well really shes from Taiwan, but she moved to Korea to pursue acting, and she was filming in London when we met, and she’s coming home next week and I wanted to throw a surprise party for her to meet everyone. I’m trying to invite some of her friends too, so it’s a big surprise when she gets home.” Chaeyoung rambled, her voice growing louder with excitement. “Sorry, I tend to talk a lot about her, which is why I try not to bring her up, or I won’t shut up. But she’s perfect, in, like, every way, and I’d love for you to meet her. Please say you’ll be there? Please!” Chaeyoung pressed her hands together, Nayeons hand in between them, as she folded her fingers and begged. Her eyes went soft in her typical puppy eyes look that she knew Nayeon couldn’t resist.

Nayeon just smiled. It was so cute to see her friend so excited like this. “I’ll try to be there, Chaeng. Maybe, if it’s okay, I’ll bring Jihyo along?” Chaeyoung’s face lit up like a firework. “But please don’t embarrass yourself, or more importantly, don’t embarrass me,” Nayeon laughed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nahyo is one of my favourite friendships tbh.  
What do you think will happen at the party? Leave some comments or go to my cc and leave a comment on what you think might happen. Doesn't have to be 2yeon related either. I have it mapped out, but I haven't decided which direction it'll go. (More like how angsty it'll be. So here's your warning for the next chapter.)  
socials @marksgasoline follow me for a breakdown this week, I can feel it. I'll probably post a lot of Jeongyeon cause that's what gets me through.


	18. operation get Mina a girlfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm on a temporary hiatus for this atm, but in the meantime, I have a fluffly filler chapter because modeljeongie on twitter is too kind and sends me too much love and I think this story could use some more fluff every now and then.

“MINA!” Chaeyoung ran through the door to Mina’s apartment. Mina jumped off the couch, dropping her controller in the process. “MINA!”

“Chaeng, what is it?” Mina asked concerned, hurriedly turning towards the girl screaming her name. 

“JIHYO!”

“What?” Mina stopped in her tracks, trying to figure out if she heard her correctly. 

“SHE’S BRINGING JIHYO! I TALKED TO HER, SHE SAID SHE WOULD COME AND SHE WOULD BRING JIHYO!”

“Chaeyoung, why are you screaming about Jihyo?” Jeongyeon came out of the bathroom. 

Chaeyoung tensed and looked at Mina. She forgot Jeongyeon was still here. Mina looked back at Chaeyoung and raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to fix her mistake. 

“There’s rumors of her having a comeback, that’s all. I think I had too much coffee, ignore me. Hey, Mina, can you help me with some of the bags and decorations?” Chaeyoung rambled, looking at Mina with a pleading look in her eyes. 

Mina huffed and agreed. She paused the game she was playing, picking up her controller from the floor, before following Chaeyoung down to her car. 

“So what’s going on?” Mina asked once they were outside of the apartment. There wasn’t anything for them to really grab, but they took a walk to be able to talk without giving away their plans to Jeongyeon.

“I talked to Nayeon. She does not seem like she is handling things very well, and it took some convincing, but she said she would come,” Chaeyoung said as the elevator doors opened and they made their way outside. 

“So why were you screaming?” 

“She said she would bring Jihyo!” Chaeyoung’s voice started to rise again but Mina held her hand up to remind her to stay calm. “The Park Jihyo, Mina! The. Park. Jihyo. is going to be at my party!”

“Didn’t you say Tzuyu is an actress? Shouldn’t you be used to seeing idols and celebrities? Your poor girlfriend.”

“Okay, but have you considered this? It’s Jihyo.” Chaeyoung retorted with a shrug. “Jihyo is going to be in your apartment, Mina. Aren’t you at least a little bit in shock?”

“My apartment?” Mina stopped in her tracks.

“Well, yeah, I can’t have THE Park Jihyo at my place, it’s way too small!”

“What makes you think my place is any bigger?” Mina’s eyes were wide. “Chaeng, we can’t have a party here-”

“Please, Mina?” Chaeyoung’s eyes went big and a pout formed. “My place is way too small, not to mention, I’ve been spending so much time here lately anyway, I’m already here to set up. All the stuff is already here. Plus, I kinda already told Nayeon it was here…” Her voice trailed off.

“You told Nayeon it was here?” Mina asked, shocked. “And she agreed to come?”

“It wasn’t easy, but I kinda avoided the fact that Jeongyeon would be here. I don’t know if she still thinks she’s in the hospital or what. But is that a yes, we can have it here?”

“Chaeng…”

“Pleeeeeease?” She whined.

Mina groaned and nodded. “Fine, but please tell me there’s not going to be a lot of people. Our landlord would kill us.”

“I promise! It’s just us and a few of Tzuyu’s friends. And Jihyo.”

“Oh god, Jihyo’s going to be at my apartment,” Mina’s eyes went wide in realization.

“I’ve only been saying that for the past twenty minutes.” Chaeyoung rolled her eyes.

Xx

Jeongyeon made her way into the hospital, it was her first time arriving without using her cane. She wasn’t exactly sure why she left it at home, but she did, and there was no turning back now (even if Mina did say she would turn around to go get it). She was slower than usual, but Mina walked in beside her, her arm at the ready is Jeongyeon needed it. But Jeongyeon was determined, or stubborn as Mina called it, and wanted to make it herself. She wanted to prove to herself that she actually has made progress, because after almost a month of being out of the hospital, she felt like she hasn’t gone anywhere in her recovery. She hated needing Mina or Chaeyoung for everything, she hated that she still hasn’t stepped foot into her room since that first day home. So if she could at least walk without a cane, maybe she could slowly get over everything else too. ‘One step at a time’ she repeated to herself over and over again in her head. It kind of became a joke to her at this point, but it’s also what kept her going. 

“Mina, you don’t have to stay, really,” Jeongyeon said as they reached the elevator. “You can go.”

“And what, help Chaeyoung decorate for tomorrow? I’d rather not. Plus, I don’t mind hanging out with you.” Mina looked into the elevator as it opened, then back at Jeongyeon. 

“Mmhm, it’s me you’re here for,” Jeongyeon pursed her lips together, remembering Chaeyoung’s words from the other night. 

“Hey, I can’t come to physical therapy with my best friend?” Mina asked defensively. 

“Oh no, you totally can, but Dahyun won’t be there, she’s not my physical therapist.”

“I know that…” Mina looked around as the elevator opened. “So like, what does she do?”

Jeongyeon laughed and grabbed Mina’s hand as they got off the elevator, leading her to the nurses station. “You’re so cute, Mina.” Mina followed Jeongyeon as they made their way down the hallway. Mina glanced around at the bussy-ness of the hospital around her. 

“Is it okay to be up here?” She asked.

“Yeah, everyone knows me by now. I come up here to meet Dahyun for a small coffee break before therapy. She should be out any minute, if she’s not busy with a patient, of course.”

“Is she busy a lot?” Mina asked as they reached the counter. Jeongyeon took her usual spot, leaning against the end of the counter, nodding to Nurse Sunmi behind the counter. 

“She can be, it all depends on the day and what’s going on, I guess.”

“She seems like a good nurse.” Mina was quiet, but Jeongyeon heard her and smiled.

“She is,”Jeongyeon said.

“Who’s what?” Dahyun said from the opposite side of them. “Oh, hi Mina, I didn’t know you were coming today. Is everything okay?” She looked at Jeongyeon with concern. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, Mina just wanted to tag along today. She says it’s to hang out with me, but I’m not so sure,” Jeongyeon smiled smugly and looked at Mina, whose face was growing redder by the second. “I’m kidding, she came as support. I ditched the cane this morning.” Jeongyeon stepped out from the counter and showed both of her free hands. 

“Hey, good for you!” Dahyun smiled for her friend. Jeongyeon looked over at saw Mina smiling behind her hands that she was trying to use to hide her blushed cheeks. Mina didn’t notice though, as her eyes were locked on Dahyun. 

“Yeah, I just hope it was the right idea, but I have Mina here to help me. She’s always so helpful, such a good and caring friend. She also is a really good cook, and really good at games, she always wins. Her favourite colour is mint green, and she’s an Aries-” Jeongyeon smiled as she kept going on, before Mina finally shoved her shoulder to get her to stop. Dahyun just laughed awkwardly, not understanding what must be a joke between the two long time friends. 

“Well, I’m sure you’ll be fine, Jeongyeon. You’ve come a long way since you were here.” Dahyun went back to the original topic.

Jeongyeon nodded a thanks as she looked at her watch. “Hey, I got to head down to therapy, but Dahyun, if you still want to take your coffee break, Mina is free, right Mina?” She looked over to Mina who was a little red again, her eyes widened. 

“Oh yeah, sure that sounds great. I could go for a coffee right about now,” Dahyun looked at Mina and smiled. “That is, if you don’t mind?”

“O-oh, no, yeah, no I don’t-yeah I’ll join- that’s great! I-I’d love to accompany you. I mean, I’d love to join you, if that’s okay, if you don’t mind,” Mina stuttered. She held her hands in her own, squeezing her thumbs, a nervous habit she’s always had. Jeongyeon noticed, and put her hands on top of them.

“Great, so I’ll see you after.” Jeongyeon squeezed Minas hands in her own, which helped ease some of Mina’s gay panic. She smiled and waved as she, slowly, made her way towards the elevator. 

“So, you like games? What kind?” She could hear Dahyun ask before the elevator doors opened. She smiled and took out her phone to text Chaeyoung. 

_ “Operation get Mina a girlfriend is underway.” _

_ “Perfect. Is Mina as gay panicking mess?” _

_ “Dahyun asked her what games she played, I think she’ll be fine.” _

_ “It’s a match made in Heaven.” _

xx

“I hate you,” Mina said as she closed the door to her car. She put the keys in the ignition. 

“No you don’t,” Jeongyeon put her seatbelt on.

“I hate you,” she turned her car on and looked at Jeongyeon.

“You love me,” Jeongyeon smiled brightly. “I heard her ask about the games you like before I left. How was the rest of the date?”

“It wasn’t a date, Jeongyeon!” Mina’s voice cracked and Jeongyeon laughed. “Shut up!”

“Oh my god, you’re so cute when you’re gay panicking. It’s been so long since I’ve witnessed this!” Jeongyeon continued to laugh.

“Shut up, I’m not gay panicking.”

“Oh sure. ‘I-I-I’d l-love to accompany yo-you for c-c-coffee’” Jeongyeon poked fun, mocking Mina from earlier.

“Oh my god, you can walk home.” Mina put her head on the steering wheel, honking the horn and jumping back. Jeongyeon was now almost in tears from laughing so hard. “I hate you.”

“So are you going to tell me how the rest of it went?” Mina stayed quiet, backing out of the parking space. “Oh, come on,” Jeongyeon pouted. 

“She’s really cute.” Mina said quietly.

“She’s really what?” Jeongyeon asked, a smug smile on her face, leaning closer.

“You really can just walk home,” Mina stopped the car at the stop sign, and pointed to Jeongyeon’s door.

“Did you invite her to Tzuyu’s party tomorrow?” Jeongyeon ignored her “threat”.

“What? No! I could hardly talk the whole time, you expect me to invite her to a party tomorrow?”

“I figured you’d chicken out, so I’ll text her about it.” Jeongyeon held up her phone.

Mina groaned and turned on her blinker, turning out of the parking lot. 

Xx

“So, how many people are coming?” Mina asked, helping Chaeyoung hang a streamer over the door. 

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe like 20 tops?” Chaeyoung answered. “21 if you bring your new girlfriend.”

“I’m going to disown both of you,” Mina said dropping the streamer and walking away.

“Oh, come on, you know we only poke fun out of love!” Chaeyoung got off of the ladder and grabbed the streamer Mina dropped. 

Mina sat on the couch and pulled out her phone, ignoring Chaeyoung. 

“Come on, Mina, I need your help, pleeeeeaseeee” Chaeyoung whined. 

“Oh god, Mina, help her just to stop the whining.” Jeongyeon said from the kitchen. She was setting up a small bar on the island counter. 

“I’m ignoring both of you until you leave me and my love life alone,” Mina turned the volume up on her game and leaned further back into the cushions.

“So you admit, you’re in love,” Chaeyoung smirked, knowing it would get a response out of the older girl. Only it wasn’t the response she wanted or expected when a pillow came flying at her head. “Hey!”

“Sad news anyway, Dahyun just texted me back saying she’s not sure if she’ll be able to make it. Her friend that she picked up from the airport the other day is making her go meet her girlfriend. But she said, if she’s able to sneak away, she’ll stop by for a bit.” Jeongyeon read from her phone.

“Oh boo, we’ll just have to throw another party to get Mina’s girlfriend over,” Chaeyoung threw the streamer on top of Mina, who was now looking at Jeongyeon, losing whatever game she was playing on her phone. Mina swatted it away, glaring at Chaeyoung. “You’re losing your game, Minari. Are you distracted?” she asked with a sing-song voice. 

“That’s it, Chaeyoung is disowned. Jeongyeon, you’re on thin ice, but only because I love you so much.” 

“Hey, I thought you loved me!” Chaeyoung leaned over the couch, laying on top of Mina’s lap, upside down. Mina pushed her off, making the smaller girl roll backwards off the couch. 

“At least I won’t be the only single one at the party now,” Jeongyeon put her phone down, ignoring the two girls across the room from her. Chaeyoung and Mina stopped and looked at one another, holding a silent conversation between glances, of their plan. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this fills all your fluff needs. My plans for the party are angsty but writing it has been proving very difficult, so hence the hiatus. I'm not loving what I write lately, and I think as this comes to an end, you all deserve a good ending! On the plus side, the novel I was stuck on and using this as a way to get back into writing, is almost done as well! (5 years later)  
Thank you all, really, for reading this and supporting this! it means the absolute world! ily all! <3  
socials @marksgasoline


	19. Tzuyu's party pt. 1

It was the morning of Tzuyu’s party, Chaeyoung had spent the night and refused to sleep on the couch, so all three girls were curled up in a tangle on Mina’s bed. Chaeyoung woke up first, much too excited already. Her girlfriend was finally flying in today and she’d finally get to meet her best friends in the whole world. Nothing could replace the giant smile on her face as she laid there, enjoying the moment, her thoughts on her girlfriend and her best friends. And she had all morning to enjoy it. Tzuyu had said the night before that she didn’t need a ride from the airport, as much as Chaeyoung wanted to pick her up, and that she had a friend insisting on picking her up. Chaeyoung had told her that she had a special dinner planned for her, giving her Mina’s address, and Tzuyu promised she’d be there for it. Her exact words being ‘I wouldn’t miss it for the world’.

Jeongyeon’s snore broke her from her thoughts and she chuckled at the older girl, curled between her and Mina. She hoped her plan would work. She somehow managed to get Nayeon to agree to come, and her agreement was very hesitant, so she prayed she would keep her promise and come. On the opposite end, she prayed Jeongyeon wouldn’t hate her and Mina forever for this. She knows how much Jeongyeon misses Nayeon, and the feeling seemed reciprocated on Nayeon’s end when she talked with her, but neither would make the first move if not prompted. She hated it. Seeing her friend next to her, unable to sleep in her own room because of Nayeon’s things, trying her hardest to hide her emotions, but failing miserably at it. She knew Jeongyeon, she’s known her for years, it was impossible to hide her emotions from her and Mina. But she also knew that she couldn’t force her to talk about it, or she’d shut down ever further. But that time would come today, whether she wanted it or not, as long as Nayeon showed up. 

Chaeyoung silently got out of bed and shuffled out into the kitchen. The least she could do was make breakfast for the three of them, so she grabbed the pancake mix and a container of strawberries from the fridge and turned on the stove. 

Mina woke soon after, hearing the noise in the kitchen, as Chaeyoung was unable to do anything quietly. She followed the noise, quietly shutting the door behind her, and sat on the stool next to the island counter. 

“Morning!” Chaeyoung greeted, popping a strawberry in her mouth.

“Good morning, someone’s giddy.” Mina yawned. 

“Of course, my best friends get to meet my girlfriend today, and if all goes well, we’ll finally get Nayeon and Jeongyeon back together.”

Mina sighed heavily, putting her head in her hand. “I hope it works, for our sakes as well as theirs.”

“Me too.”

Xx

“You’re telling me Tzuyu is friends with Sana and Momo, the biggest duo in korea right now?” Jeongyeon said, staring at the two girls mentioned from across the room, as Chaeyoung let them into the apartment. “And Chaeyoung didn’t tell us?”

Mina was just as dumbfounded. There were too many famous idols in her small apartment, knowing Jihyo was on her way. And Nayeon, who she realized counts as an idol now too.

“Hey, Jeong, Mina, come meet Tzuyu’s friends,” Chaeyoung yelled over to them, motioning to Sana and Momo.

Jeongyeon and Mina looked at each other, still dumbfounded and starstruck. They eventually got up and made their way over.

“You didn’t think to mention this to us?” Jeongyeon asked quietly as she bumped Chaeyoung’s side. 

“I kinda forgot,” Chaeyoung shrugged. “I met them when they toured over in London and Tzuyu took me to their show. It’s kind of fun dating a celebrity.” Chaeyoung giggled. Sana laughed with her and Momo extended her hand to Mina, introducing herself. Sana followed suit with Jeongyeon.

“I think it’s cute you’re throwing this welcome home party for Tzuyu. And thank you for inviting us, Chaeyoung.” Sana said, putting her arm around Momo after she shook hands with Mina. 

“Of course, I figured I wanted Tzuyu to meet my friends, but I also wanted to include her friend group too in the little surprise. So thank you for getting some of her other friends here. I didn’t know how to do it, without asking her for their information and giving it away to her.”

“Of course. She’s with her best friend right now, she hasn’t seen her in months and she was very excited to get to see her. We texted her the address so she knew where to bring her, and that she was invited of course.” Momo said.

“Of course she is! Thank you again.” Chaeyoung excused herself as she heard another knock at the door, leaving the two sets of girls together. 

“You can make yourself at home, I think Chaeyoung said Tzuyu was coming for 6:00, so we have some time before she gets here.” Mina led them into the apartment, holding Jeongyeon’s hand for support. 

“So how long have you known Tzuyu for?” Jeongyeon asked as they all sat on the couch, their backs to the door. 

“Oh, we met in the company a few years back. Before Momo and I debuted,” Sana said sitting down beside Momo. She leaned into her side and Momo wrapped her hands in Sana’s on her lap. 

“Oh I didn’t know Tzuyu was in JYP too,” Mina said. 

“Yeah, but she started getting acting gigs and we debuted, so we started seeing her less. It was nice to tour near her and see her.” Momo smiled.

“And it’s nice Chaeyoung thought to invite us today. It’s funny though, Tzuyu thinks she’s surprising Chaeng tonight.” Sana laughed. She continued as she saw the questioning looks on Mina and Jeongyeon’s faces. “She actually flew in a few days ago and stayed at her friend's house. She was able to come home early and she wanted to wait to surprise Chaeyoung. But when she gets here, it looks like she’ll be the one surprised.”

“They seem so cute for each other, both trying to surprise the other.” Mina gushed, happy for her friend. 

“Wait until you see them together,” Momo laughed. 

Mina smiled happily and Jeongyeon joined her, her smile a little less happy. Not that she wasn’t happy for Chaeyoung, but all the cute couple talk, and seeing the way Sana looked at Momo and leaned into her, it just made her miss what she should still have, if she had not been so selfish. Mina saw the look in her eyes and placed a hand on top of hers. Jeongyeon leaned her head onto Mina’s shoulder, embracing the comfort Mina provided. 

“You two are cute together,” Sana said, smiling at the two of them. “How long have you been dating?”

“Oh no, we’re not-” Mina and Jeongyeon said at the same time. Jeongyeon sat back up and Mina couldn’t help but laugh a little. “We get that a lot, actually, but no, we’re not dating.” She pulled Jeongyeon back to her. “Just long time friends.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I just assumed,” Sana flushed a little red, embarrassed at her assumption. Mina smiled back at her. 

“Excuse me,” Jeongyeon said, getting up from the couch, and from Mina’s grasp. Mina looked up at her. “I have to use the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” She walked back toward their bathroom, annoyed at herself for feeling like this in front of so many strangers. In front of two idols at that. This was supposed to be a happy day and of course today was the day she was having trouble holding back her emotions. She didn’t even know why and she was more angry at herself than anything.

“I didn’t mean to upset her,” Sana said apologetically. 

“No, it’s not you, I promise.” Mina said, her eyes on the closed bathroom door. She looked back at Sana and saw how red her cheeks were and placed a hand on top of her free hand, the one not interlaced in Momo’s fingers. “She, uh-” Mina paused, unsure of how to go about this, not wanting to give away Jeongyeon’s personal life. “She recently had a bad break up, so I think she just needs a moment. It wasn’t you though, please don’t feel bad.”

“Oh no, I’m sorry, I didn’t-” Sana started, but Mina shook her head and squeezed her hand in reassurance. 

“Don’t be, you didn’t know.” Mina had a soft smile on her lips.

“Looks like it’s just a big JYP party now,” Momo changed the subject, looking at the door as Chaeyoung let more guests in. 

Mina looked over and her eyes grew wide. Now was not the best time for this. “Oh no…” She said softly. “I’m going to go check on Jeongyeon, I’ll be right back.” She quickly excused herself. 

“Hey Nayeon!” Sana exclaimed from across the room, turning to where Momo and Mina's eyes were. 

“Hey, Jihyo!” Momo said at the same time, waving to the two girls who had just come in. 

Mina made her way to the bathroom, pausing for a moment to notice the fact that Park Jihyo was now in her apartment, but remembering who was beside her and who was locking herself in the bathroom. She knocked on the bathroom door and leaned closer to whisper in, “It’s me.”

Jeongyeon opened the door and let her in. “I’m being stupid, I know.”

“No you’re not.” Mina hugged her. “I know it’s embarrassing when people think we’re a couple,” she laughed into Jeongyeon’s shoulder.

“Oh my god, you’re so dumb,” Jeongyeon laughed, pushing Mina back.

“Got you to laugh though,” Mina smiled, showing her gums. 

“Let’s just hope Tzuyu didn’t somehow know Nayeon without us knowing. I didn’t realize she was in JYP and Chaeng left it up to Momo and Sana to invite Tzuyu’s friends, so they wouldn’t know. I don’t know how I’d handle seeing her. I miss her terribly, but I’m terrified she hates me. She probably does, who am I kidding. What would I even say if I saw her.”

Mina’s face went pale as Jeongyeon rambled on. “So, uh, Jeongyeon…” She started. “Chaeyoung and I thought it might be a good idea to, well, please don’t hate us, but we thought-”

“You didn’t.” Jeongyeon’s voice dropped. She turned to face Mina as she was pacing back and forth by the shower.

“Please don’t hate us.”

“Mina, how could you?”

“You two need to talk!” Mina’s voice grew firm. “You know it, we know it, she even knows it. You need to talk.”

“Mina, that’s not up to you.” She had never seen Jeongyeon this upset. It was a mix of fear and anger. “I can’t do this, I can’t do this.” She began pacing again. “I’m leaving. I’ll meet Tzuyu another time.” She started towards the door.

“Jeong, you can’t do that,” Mina tried to reach out for her but Jeongyeon shrugged her away.

“Chaeyoung will get over it. And if not, screw her. You too. I can’t believe you invited her.” She swung the door open and went to storm out, but was face to face with Nayeon. Her breath caught in her throat and her stomach flipped.

Both Nayeon and Jeongyeon’s faces dropped as they stared at each other.

Mina held her breath and tried to sneak by. “I’ll leave you two…” She said quietly as she made her way past. She sent an even quieter apology to Jeongyeon, but Jeongyeon paid no attention. Instead she was staring at the girl she’s loved and missed more than anything. She was unsure what her emotions were doing, and even more unsure of the butterflies in her stomach. 

Nayeon looked like she was having the same range of emotions.

“Mina!” Chaeyoung yelled running up to her. “I’ve been trying to find you, she’s here-” She stopped as she saw Nayeon and Jeongyeon in their silence behind Mina. “Oh, never mind.”

“Go, she’s not happy with us right now.” Mina said pushing Chaeyoung away, forcing her to stop watching the two who seemed frozen in time.

Nayeon broke the silence first, after what felt like an eternity of the two of them staring at each other.

“You’re walking.” It’s all she said, but it was enough to start their first conversation in months. 

“I’m walking.” Jeongyeon wrung her hands together anxiously. 

“I told you you would again,” Nayeon had a small smile. _ “I never doubted that you would,” _ is what she wanted to say but held in. Jeongyeon looked down at her feet, hiding the smile on her lips and the flush in her cheeks. They stood in silence again until Jeongyeon broke it this time. 

“Congrats on your debut.” Again, a simple statement, but it was enough for both of them to smile and start talking again.  _ “I watched it like I promised I would, even though it killed me inside. I never broke our promise.” _ She screamed these words in her head but couldn’t bring herself to say them outloud.

“Thank you.” Though they were talking, there was so much unsaid between them. So much both of them wanted to say but were unable to. Nayeon wanting to gush about her debut, talk about how she can’t believe she's finally an idol, but also how hard it was to go on stage without Jeongyeon to cheer her on. Jeongyeon wanting to talk about her recovery and how she’s amazed she’s walking again, but it’s been so lonely without Nayeon by her side every step of the way. Instead, they found themselves in silence again. Not an uncomfortable silence, but not easy silence either. Just silence. 

“Nayeon, I-'' Jeongyeon started, but Chaeyoung’s voice interrupted.

“She’s on her way up! Everyone, go find a place to hide!” 

“Nevermind,” she said quietly. The two separated and Jeongyeon hid behind the wall near Mina’s room. She looked around and saw Nayeon hiding, crouched down, behind the counter in the kitchen, Jihyo beside her. “Of course,” she muttered to herself, looking at how close Nayeon and Jihyo were. She looked back at Chaeyoung by the door, who held up her fingers, counting down silently from five. She opened the door when her last finger went down and everyone jumped up yelling.

“Surprise!”

Jeongyeon could see Tzuyu’s look of confusion and shock. It quickly turned to happiness as she embraced the smaller girl in front of her. She was pretty, Chaeyoung definitely was right all the times she gushed about how beautiful she was. She was much taller, Chaeyoung just reached her shoulders, but Chaeyoung was also just short and reached just above Jeongyeon’s shoulders as well. Jeongyeon started to make her way over to Tzuyu, not forgetting how angry she was at Chaeyoung, but wanting to meet her girlfriend. As she made her way over, all the standing she had been doing did a number on her leg and it gave out. She fell but was caught by someone who’s embrace she’d never forget. She looked up at Nayeon who helped her get steady on her feet again.

“Thank you.” She pulled away from Nayeon’s hold and instantly felt colder. Nayeon’s hand lingered for a moment in Jeongyeons, before she let go. “I’m still not that great at walking. I should probably be using my cane.” She looked around, trying to remember where she left it.

“I’ll help you,” Nayeon said, grabbing her hand again. She held it softly, unsure how it would be after months, but it was an excuse to hold Jeongyeon’s hand again and she’d take any reason she could. Their hands fit together like puzzle pieces and almost like it was second nature, Jeongyeon’s fingers interlocked with Nayeon’s. She leaned into Nayeon’s side as they made their way to Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, who now had a small gathering around them, Mina included. 

Mina looked back at Nayeon and Jeongyeon and smiled, turning back towards Chaeyoung. 

“She may be pissed, but I think it’s working,” she said before the two got too close and could hear. Chaeyoung pumped her fist by her side as a small cheer, before she grabbed Tzuyu’s hand and brought her in the middle of the group around them.

“Okay, so Tzuyu, I know you said you wanted to meet my friends, and I wanted to meet more of yours, so I threw this party so we could all get to know each other. So, Tzuyu, this is everyone, everyone this is my amazingly beautiful and talented and perfect girlfriend, Tzuyu.”

“Oh sure, give her all those adjectives and just introduce us as everyone,” Mina said, extending her hand. “I’m Mina. I’ve heard so much about you, I feel like I already know you.”

“Yeah, Chaeng won’t shut up about you,” Jeongyeon added. Nayeon had let go of her hand at this point and made her way out of the small gathering. Right now it seemed only for them, so she made her way over to the other side of the room. Jeongyeon watched her as she walked away, her hand feeling empty. 

Tzuyu’s face started to turn pink and she turned to her girlfriend, trying to hide behind her, but Chaeyoung was much too short.

“And every word I’ve said is true. Amazing, beautiful, talented, perfect. I could go on.”

“Please don’t,” Mina said. She turned to close the door but stopped as Dahyun peeked her head in. 

“Small world, if I may say,” Dahyun said she stopped at the door. Mina caught her breath and moved aside to let her in. “If I had known the party you invited me to was for Tzuyu, I would have helped more.” She waved to Jeongyeon and moved to Tzuyu’s side. 

“Ohhh, so Tzuyu was the friend you had to pick up from the airport?” Jeongyeon asked. She limped over to Dahyun. “Wow, that really is a small world then.”

“Wait, Dahyun, is this-” Tzuyu began to ask but cut herself off.

“One of my patients, Jeongyeon. Yes, we met at the hospital.” Dahyun finished for her, afraid of what she was really going to ask. She turned around, her face pink, and she bumped into Mina. “Oh, sorry.” She caught Mina before she could stumble backwards and as her hands stayed on her shoulders, Mina was speechless. 

“Well, then I guess everyone is here, so let the actual party commence!” Chaeyoung pressed a button on the remote she was holding and soon music filled the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I'm back !  
Thank you for being patient with me, I've figured out how I wanted to write this scene and I sat down for about 5 hours yesterday and was able to write it. Unfortunately, I wanted to upload for Jeongyeon's 10 year anniversary, but I forgot work was a thing and I had to stop. But I am here now to upload and I hope you don't hate me for the angst that is to come! I'm sorry.  
I've realized I've had some major plot holes and I'm trying to work my way around them, but at this point unless I change previous chapters I can't fix some of them, so just ignore those I guess ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ please.   
Anyway, I will see you all soon. Follow me on twitter (and tumblr where I'm not nearly as active) @marksgasoline


	20. Tzuyu's Party pt. 2

The night went on and Jeongyeon found herself alone more times than not, lost in her own thoughts. She didn’t want to make the first move and every time she saw Nayeon, she was talking with someone else. More times than not, she was talking with Jihyo, which only made Jeongyeon realize Nayeon was just being polite earlier. She’s moved on whereas she herself has not. She didn’t want to talk with Mina or Chaeyoung, because Chaeyoung was busy never leaving Tzuyu’s side, and, to be honest, she was still mad at them. She couldn’t believe they went behind her back and invited Nayeon. How did they even get Nayeon to agree to come? Was it not awkward for her since she was dating the most popular idol in Korea? Then what was all of that before when they stood in silence? Or when Nayeon held her hand? Did Nayeon pity her? Was it obvious she wasn’t over her? Which Nayeon probably finds ridiculous since Jeongyeon was the one to end it to begin with. So yeah, she was probably pitying her earlier. 

Jeongyeon sat in a stool by the bar in the kitchen and put her head in her hands, ignoring the party around her, drinking the second spiked seltzer she had opened. 

“Someone looks glum,” Dahyun’s voice interrupted Jeongyeon’s pity party for one. 

“Hey, Dahyun," Jeongyeon perked up a little, happy to see her friend. 

“Hi, party pooper. What goes on?”

Jeongyeon looked back at Nayeon who was laughing with Jihyo, Sana, and Momo, at Mina who was sitting with Tzuyu and Chaeyoung, then back at Dahyun. “I’m glad you came tonight.” She ignored her question, but leaned into Dahyun’s side. 

Dahyun let her, missing when she would do this back at the hospital. “I can’t believe all of this was connected. I didn’t realize Chaeyoung was Tzuyu’s artist girlfriend. It all makes sense now, though. But I can't believe I didn't figure it out with how much Tzuyu wouldn't stop talking about her."

“Yeah, I can’t believe we never really said names or caught on to anything. We’re kinda dumb, aren’t we?”

“Speak for yourself, I’m a nurse who graduated with high honors.” Dahyun stuck her tongue out at Jeongyeon, who sat up off of her side and pushed her shoulder. 

“Shut up, you nerd.” Jeongyeon laughed though. She was really glad Dahyun was here. 

Xx

Nayeon sat with Jihyo after Momo and Sana left to talk with Tzuyu and Elkie, one of Tzuyu’s fellow co-stars. 

“I can’t believe I didn’t know she was out of the hospital. And that she’s walking! I don’t know why, but I kind of expected her to text me that she was walking again. Or, well, I guess I didn’t really expect it as much as I just wanted her to.” She looked back at Jeongyeon, who was laughing with a blonde girl she swore she recognized from somewhere. “But I don’t blame her, drunk me kind of went off on her the last time we talked. The only time we talked. Maybe I should say the last time I talked. She didn’t reply. Again, I don’t blame her. But then again, drunk me had some points. Why did she dump me? Especially since she’s walking now. I knew she would be, and I could have been by her side for it, but she didn’t want me there!” Nayeon took a big sip from whatever alcoholic concoction she made herself earlier. It was the only break in the midst of her rambling and Jihyo took the opportunity to interrupt. 

“Don’t you think you should go talk to her?”

“Why, she looks perfectly happy with the blonde over there.” Nayeon crossed her arms and leaned back into the couch. 

“You’re unbearable,” Jihyo muttered, stealing a sip of Nayeon’s drink. “Oh god, what did you even put in this?”

“Whatever was over there. I don’t plan on watching the love of my life flirt with someone else while sober.”

“You’re going to give yourself alcohol poisoning if you drink all of this.” She pushed the drink to the other side of the table, out of Nayeon’s reach. Nayeon huffed and sat back, her arms still tightly crossed across her chest. “Go talk to her.”

“And say what? ‘I know you dumped me, but I really miss you’?”

“Yes.”

“Wait, you’re serious?” She raised an eyebrow, sitting up straight.

“Yes. Say that. Now. Go.” Jihyo pushed her.

“Jihyo, I’m not-”

“You know, Chaeyoung knew she was home. She has to know everything that happened. Don’t you think she invited you because she wants you two to talk?”

“I thought she invited me because she missed me,” Nayeon pouted.

Jihyo glared at her, unsure if she was being serious in her reply. “I’m sure she invited you for that too, but really Nayeon, look at the facts. She is best friends with Jeongyeon you said right?” Nayeon nodded. “So she had to know everything, or at least that you two broke up-”

“She broke up with me,” Nayeon corrected.

“She had to know that you two aren’t together,” Jihyo rephrased, “and she knew she was home and would be here for the party. So don’t you think she knew you two would see each other here? And that maybe she had a small plan to get you two together to talk again?”

Nayeon stayed quiet, unable to fight Jihyo’s words, but not wanting to believe it. She chewed the inside of her lip instead. 

“I have to admit, I like Chaeyoung’s mind, if I’m right.” Jihyo nodded, looking over at Chaeyoung across the room, standing by her girlfriend, who was so much taller than the short girl. She sent a silent nod of approval to her. “And if you don’t go get up and talk to her, I’ll talk to Chaeyoung and see if we can lock you two in a room together until you’re forced to talk.”

“I’m not talking to her. I tried earlier, I even held her hand to help her walk,” Nayeon looked down at her empty hand. “But it’s on her now. She dumped me. So I’m not talking first anymore.”

“Well I hope for your sake, she isn’t as stubborn as you,” Jihyo gave up and sat back.

“She’s even more stubborn,” Nayeon said quietly to herself. Unfortunately for her, Jihyo still heard her.

“Oh my god, go!” Jihyo shoved her. “Go!” She kept shoving until Nayeon was off of the couch. 

“Ji-”

“Nope, go, or I’m locking you in a room.”

Xx

Jeongyeon played with a balloon that was floating in front of her face, finishing off the last of her drink, some mixed punch Chaeyoung made, that was a little too strong but Jeongyeon hadn’t noticed. She leaned back into Dahyun’s side who was now sitting on the stool next to her. Dahyun scooted closer so Jeongyeon wouldn’t fall.

“You never answered me earlier,”

“Huh?” Jeongyeon looked up at Dahyun.

“What goes on, party pooper?”

“I’m not a party pooper!” She flicked the balloon and it slowly drifted across the kitchen.

“Yeah, sure, sulking in the kitchen, drinking by yourself, none of that is a party pooper.”

“I’m not sulking…” Jeongyeon pouted, scrunching her nose in the process, and sat back up, crossing her arms across her chest. 

“You’re cute when you pout like that,” Dahyun said, blushing when she realized she said it outloud. 

“No you’re cute when you pout!” Jeongyeon, a little more than tipsy, laughed thinking it was a good rebuttal.

“I’m not pouting,” Dahyun suppressed a giggle. 

Jeongyeon pouted again, huffing and taking another sip. “Dahyun, what are you-” She asked as Dahyun started leaning in closer to her. 

Something deep in Dahyun gave her a quick bout of confidence, and she figured if Jeongyeon is drunk, and this doesn’t work, then hopefully she’ll forget tomorrow. But there was that off chance that maybe it would work. Like Tzuyu told her, she wouldn’t know until she tried. She leaned in closer. “You’re really cute when you pout.” She was now inches from Jeongyeon’s face. Inches from her lips. Before Jeongyeon could say anything, she closed the gap. Her lips were soft, everything she imagined them to be. And they tasted like a mix of lime and raspberry. But she didn’t have much time to appreciate them, as Jeongyeon pulled away.

“Dahyun, I-” Jeongyeon froze as she looked behind Dahyun. “Nayeon.”

Jeongyeon didn’t look so drunk anymore.

Nayeon, who was standing behind Dahyun, who saw everything, turned and walked away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😎👉  
The funny thing is I never actually planned on Dajeong happening. Like anywhere in the entire story. It just wrote itself that way.


	21. Five Minutes to Midnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 2yeon day, here's some more angst!

"Nayeon wait!" Jeongyeon jumped up. She landed too hard on her bad leg and caught herself on the back of her stool so she wouldn't fall. Her leg was about to give out and her cane was in Mina's room, but she couldn't let Nayeon leave like that. She tried to take a step but her hip buckled and she nearly fell. Dahyun caught her instinctively, her cheeks redder than the balloon Jeongyeon flicked across the kitchen earlier, but let her go when she pushed on. Her hand that was holding onto Jeongyeon was now holding the cold air in her place. Even with the cold air, her cheeks burned.

"Nayeon, please,” Jeongyeon cried out again, her voice cracking. She refused to let her go. All the side chatter from everyone quieted and the room watched as Nayeon walked out, the door slamming behind her. Jeongyeon made it to the door, ignoring everyone around her, including Mina reaching out to her. "Nayeon," she called out one more time, this time with a sob escaping her mouth as well. "Nayeon, I can-" she started, but soon fell, unable to walk any further. 

Nayeon, a distance ahead, heard the thud as Jeongyeon dropped to the floor and turned around to face her. She was feeling every emotion in the range of human emotions. She didn't move though, as much as it pained her to see Jeongyeon on the floor. How could she kiss someone else? Is that why she dumped her? It was then that she finally recognized where she knew the blonde from, she was one of Jeongyeon's nurses. So did she dump her for her nurse? She scoffed and shook her head, her hand clenched by her side. 

"Nayeon, please," Jeongyeon pleaded. Nayeon took a step towards her, wanting to help, but there was some irrational part in her brain that was so hurt, so angry, that she stopped.

“I came over to talk to you, to tell you how much I’ve missed you these past months. But I can see our feelings aren’t the same. I get why you wanted me to leave so bad that day. Next time, don’t make yourself look like the good guy. Don’t be the martyr.” Nayeon turned on her heels and walked away again, disappearing in the stairwell, somewhere the irrational and angry part of her knew Jeongyeon couldn’t follow. 

Jeongyeon didn’t move. She hardly breathed. Already kneeling on the floor, she threw her head into her hands, falling face first into the floor, and sobbed. She sobbed like she did that first day Nayeon left. 

No, Nayeon didn’t leave. She was forced out by Jeongyeon.

Jeongyeon stayed like that, even when she felt the sets of eyes on her. Even when she felt the presence behind her. Even when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Even when that person tried to help her up.

“Jeong…” It was Mina’s voice. Jeongyeon still didn’t look up, didn’t look at her. Mina knelt down to her and pulled her into a hug and held her close to let her cry. She didn’t know exactly what had happened, but it wasn’t good from what she saw in the hallway.

Jeongyeon pulled away and pushed Mina off of her. “Go,” was all she said. 

“Jeong, I’m-”

“Go.” Her voice was firm and from the sound alone, you would have never known she was crying. 

“Jeongyeon-”

“I said go.” Her voice was growing louder as more tears filled her eyes. “This would have never happened if you hadn’t invited her. You knew, Mina, you KNEW I couldn’t do this! You KNEW I couldn’t see her!” She was almost yelling now, unable to hear how loud she actually was. Her emotions blocked her ears as her head filled with anger and sadness and every other emotion she’s suppressed that now came bubbling up. “She hates me. I hate myself.” 

“Jeongyeon, I’m sorry. I really thought-”

“Please, just go.” Her voice was softer this time, but so defeated. She saw Chaeyoung standing behind Mina, by the door to their apartment. On the other side of Chaeyoung, was Jihyo, staring at her. More eyes watched from inside the apartment and with the open door she could see where her and Dahyun were sitting was now empty. 

Jeongyeon stood up and with all the strength she had left in her, and using the wall as support, she left.

Xx

Dahyun sat on the stool, frozen in time. She messed up. She really messed up. She royally messed up. She didn’t even know Nayeon was here. No wonder Jeongyeon was drinking alone in the kitchen. She should have known. She should have never kissed her. She couldn’t even say she was drunk, she hadn’t had a sip of alcohol all night, knowing she was driving later. Why did she kiss her? Why? She knew Jeongyeon wasn’t over Nayeon, she knew Jeongyeon would probably never be over Nayeon. She just saw how cute she was and was weak. Her lips just looked so inviting when she pouted like that. But that was no excuse. She ruined everything. She had a beautiful friendship with Jeongyeon and she ruined it. And for what? A three second kiss? She brought her fingers to her lips and felt the lingering ghost of Jeongyeon’s lips on them. She felt a wet drop fall on her hand and she realized she was crying. Everyone was distracted by what was happening in the hallway so she stood up and walked to the nearest door, opening it and walking inside so she could be alone. It was dark but she could make out a few things, like the deflated balloons, the faded streamers, and the stuffed teddy bear on the bed. On the dresser across from the bed was a picture frame. Dahyun walked closer and saw it was a picture of Nayeon kissing Jeongyeon’s cheek. Jeongyeon’s eyes were closed and she was smiling so brightly. She’d seen her smiling, but never with such happiness as she was showing in that picture. She turned back around and took in the scene in front of her. She fell to her knees and cried. She cried for Jeongyeon. For what she ruined for Jeongyeon. For their lost friendship. For everything that happened in the last five minutes. 

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts and she jumped up. She shouldn’t be in here. This wasn’t her house, why was she walking into random bedrooms? She ran to the other side of the door, trying to hide as the door opened.

“Dahyun?” It was Tzuyu’s voice. Dahyun came out from behind the door, her eyes unmistakingly red in the soft glow of the light. 

“Tzuyu, I ruined everything.” She engulfed the taller girl into a hug, wanting to never let go. 

Xx

Jeongyeon had no idea where she was going, but she wasn’t going to stay home. She’s lost just about everyone. She couldn’t believe her two best friends would go behind her back like that. Nayeon would never talk to her again. Dahyun kissed her. Dahyun kissed her? 

She leaned her back against the apartment building as she got outside, her legs and brain were tired, and she wasn’t sure which hurt more. She regretted leaving her cane. She slid down the wall and put her head in her hands again. 

Dahyun kissed her? Dahyun kissed her? She couldn’t stop thinking about it. Of all things, this shocked her the most. Dahyun liked her? She liked Dahyun too, but not like that. She liked her as a friend. As a really good friend. Why did she kiss her?

Why did Nayeon have to see that? Nayeon was coming over to tell her how much she missed her. She missed her. Nayeon actually missed her. But of course all she saw was the kiss. A kiss Jeongyeon didn’t reciprocate. Once she realized what was happening, she pulled away. Why did Dahyun kiss her? Why did Nayeon see that?

She felt a body sit next to her and she looked up. It was dark out, and the person was wearing a hat, but she could swear it was Jihyo.

“It’s Jeongyeon, right?” She asked. Jeongyeon nodded. “Good.” She nodded back and they sat like that for a while. 

Silence.

Minutes passed.

More silence. 

“Are you dating Nayeon?” Jeongyeon wasn’t sure why she asked it outloud, but she had to know. Her voice was quiet and she wasn’t sure if Jihyo had heard her at first, so she looked over at her.

“Are you dating that blonde?” Jihyo asked back. Jeongyeon thought back to Dahyun. Did she see the kiss too?

“No.”

“Good. I’m not dating Nayeon either.” Jihyo nodded again. She finally looked at Jeongyeon and made eye contact from under her hat. “You know, she really misses you.”

Jeongyeon looked down at her feet in front of her. “I really miss her too.”

“You should talk to her.” Jihyo’s voice was calm, but there was something in that just held power. Maybe it was the fact that she was such a huge idol, or that Jeongyeon once idolized her, but there was something about her, even with such a calm and quiet voice. 

“She won’t want to talk to me.”

“Hmm,” Jihyo hummed. 

“She hates me.” Jeongyeon continued. 

“Is that what you think?”

“Isn’t that what she just said?” Jeongyeon asked, looking back at Jihyo, who was still looking at her.

Jihyo nodded again, but Jeongyeon couldn’t tell if it was a nod of agreement or not. 

“You should talk to her,” she said again. 

“She won’t talk to me,” Jeongyeon wasn’t annoyed but she looked at Jihyo wondering why she was saying it again when she already explained that Nayeon wanted nothing to do with her. 

“Maybe you don’t need her to talk.” Jeongyeon was confused. Why tell her to talk to her if Nayeon wasn’t going to talk? “Maybe she needs you to talk first.”

“What?” Jeongyeon thought about it, shaking her head. “I tried, in the hallway, she wasn’t listening.”

“Because she came to you first and saw you kissing someone else.”

“I didn’t kiss her, she kissed me, and I don’t even know why!” Jeongyeon got defensive. “I didn’t even know she liked me.” Jeongyeon’s head was starting to hurt. While she instantly sobered up seeing Nayeon behind Dahyun, the alcohol was still hitting her head now. The cool air felt refreshing. 

“Does Nayeon know that?”

“She wouldn’t listen to me! I tried to tell her, but she walked away.” Jeongyeon was a little louder now.

“Can you blame her?” Jihyo’s voice was still calm.

“No.” Her voice was soft again.

They sat in quiet for a moment before Jeongyeon spoke, looking down at her feet.

“I never wanted to hurt her, you know? I know she probably told you I’m the bad guy, and she’s right, but I never intended to hurt her. I just wanted what was best for her and I didn’t want to hold her back anymore.”

“Maybe you should stop making up her mind for her.” Jihyo raised her eyebrows when Jeongyeon looked up like she was going to argue her point. She didn't though. She opened her mouth then closed it and nodded. That’s what Dahyun had told her that one night when they had ice cream. 

"I feel like I'm losing everyone." She didn't intend to say it outloud, but she did. 

“Maybe you should go talk with your friends inside. They were only doing what they thought was best for you. Sometimes we make the wrong decision for our loved ones when we think it’s the best one.” She saw the realization hit in Jeongyeon’s eyes. She stood up and held out her hand. “Then maybe, you should go talk to Nayeon.”

Jeongyeon took her hand and stood up slowly. 

"You know, I always secretly hoped I'd be able to meet you through Nayeon. Never thought it'd be like this though." Jihyo held her hand and helped her as they slowly made their way back inside. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a lot of reception from that last chapter, most of it yelling at me, and I feel like an accomplished author hahaha I'm sorry if I hurt you  
Continue to yell at me though, my curious cat is always open, as well as my twitter, both @marksgasoline  
As always though, thank you for reading and supporting this! It means a lot to me! ily all!


	22. Apologies

Mina stood inside of her apartment, almost everyone had left after the scene in the hallway. The only people left were her, Chaeyoung, Tzuyu (who was nowhere to be seen), Sana, and Momo, who were both too drunk to leave and were still sitting on the couch, talking to Chaeyoung. Dahyun’s things were still here and Mina didn’t remember seeing her leave, but like Tzuyu, she wasn’t around. Maybe they were together. Last time Mina saw them was before everything went down, when Dahyun was smiling and laughing with Jeongyeon. But then Something happened, something snapped and it was like everyone’s world came crashing down. She felt empty inside. Exactly what she feared most, happened. She lost her best friend. Tears pricked at the backs of her eyes but she forced them away. 

Chaeyoung made her way over, a drink in her hand. “You look like you need this,” she said handing Mina the drink. Mina just shook her head. “She just needs some time, Minari. She didn’t mean what she said out there.”

“I don’t even know what happened,” Mina said, her voice quiet and emotionless. 

“I don’t either. Last I saw, she was sitting with Dahyun by the bar. Then, I don’t know, Nayeon just stormed out.” Chaeyoung took a sip of her drink and shook her head.

“Speaking of, where is Dahyun?” Mina looked around. Chaeyoung joined her and shrugged.

“Tzuyu said something about wanting to find her, I’m not really sure.”

“Do you think something happened?” Mina asked, concern filling her questioning voice. 

“Tzuyu didn’t say, she just said she wanted to find her,” Chaeyoung shrugged again. “I’m sure everything is fine, your girlfriend will be back.” Chaeyoung smiled, her eyes scrunching in the process. 

“Shut up,” Mina shoved her arm, but couldn’t help but smile slightly back at Chaeyoung. 

“Hey, Minari,” Chaeyoung started, reaching out and grabbing Mina’s hand in her free hand. “Please, don’t beat yourself up over this. We both thought it was a good idea. Jeong just needs some air and she’ll come back, okay?”

Mina’s face went still again. She was worried and guilt ate away at her, and Chaeyoung could sense that about her. “Do you think she’ll forgive us?”

Chaeyoung nodded. “I think we should let her get some air and we can talk to her later. She knows we love her, and I know she still loves us.” She squeezed Mina’s fingers in hers. “I just wish I knew what happened,” Chaeyoung trailed off. Mina hummed in agreement. 

Xx

  
  


Jeongyeon and Jihyo made their way back up to Jeongyeon’s apartment. As they made it to the door, Jeongyeon froze. She didn’t want to go in. Jihyo rubbed the small of her back, where she was holding to help support her, and nodded once as a sign of encouragement. Jeongyeon took a deep breath and opened the door, taking a small step inside. 

It’s like time was frozen the way everyone watched her. Everyone as in the few people left in the apartment. The music was quieter, the party had died down a lot, and eyes focused on the doorway where she was standing. Mina was on the right side of the room standing by the wall, Chaeyoung in the living room across from the doorway with Sana and Momo, and Dahyun was on the far opposite left side, holding Tzuyu’s hand. Jeongyeon looked at each of them, biting the inside of her lip. She felt awful inside; guilty and embarrassed. She looked back at Mina, who was unsure of what to do. She opened her mouth to apologize and let out a sigh, biting the inside of her cheek. Mina, having known her for so long, instantly understood and walked towards her. 

“I’m sorry too Jeong.” She engulfed her in a hug and Jihyo took that as her cue to leave and she went and sat on the couch with Sana and Momo. 

“I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that,” Jeongyeon hugged her back, resting her head on Mina’s shoulder. 

“I shouldn’t have gone behind your back like that. You were right, I knew, but I thought it would be a good idea. I’m so sorry, Jeong.” She held her closer as she felt another pair of arms wrap around them.

“Please blame me, Jeongyeon. It wasn’t Mina’s idea, it was mine. Please don’t blame Mina. Please don’t be angry with her.” Chaeyoung wriggled herself into the hug as she spoke. 

“I’m not angry,” Jeongyeon moved back and looked at her two best friends. “I know I’ve been avoiding everything and you were just trying to help. I’m sorry I lashed out at you, Mina. You didn’t deserve that.”

“I kinda did. But I love you, Jeong, you know that right?” Mina asked.

“I love you too, Jeongyeon. Don’t ever forget that,” Chaeyoung added. 

“I love you both,” Jeongyeon hugged them again and as she pulled them in, behind Chaeyoung was Dahyun watching with her head down and her hand still in Tzuyu’s. Her eyes looked bloodshot like she had been crying. “I promise I’m not going to avoid things anymore.” She pulled away and made her way over to Dahyun. 

Mina looked at Chaeyoung, wondering what that meant. 

Tzuyu looked at Dahyun and squeezed her hand before walking toward Chaeyoung, giving Jeongyeon and Dahyun a moment to themselves. Dahyun shot her a pleading look of ‘please don’t leave me’ as Jeongyeon approached her. They stood in silence for a minute before they both opened their mouths. 

“Dahyun I-”

“Jeongyeon-” 

They both started at the same time. Jeongyeon let out a tiny chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. 

“You first, I guess,” Jeongyeon said.

“I’m sorry…” Dahyun started. “I didn’t…” She chewed on her lip, trying to fight the tears still stinging her eyes and the pit in her stomach. “I shouldn't have…” She shook her head. 

Jeongyeon struggled, wanting to reach out and hold Dahyun’s hand to calm her, but was unsure if it was inappropriate to do. Eventually, she ignored it and reached out anyway. Dahyun tensed at her touch, stuttering as she still struggled with her explanation. Jeongyeon pulled her hand back with a quiet apology. 

“I should leave,” Dahyun said after mumbling everything else. 

“Please don’t.” Jeongyeon reached out again, but stopped before she made Dahyun uncomfortable again, dropping her hand back down by her side. 

Dahyun just wanted to run. She didn’t think she’s ever been in a situation this awkward before, this embarrassing, and her cheeks have never felt so hot before. She looked down, avoiding eye contact. “I’m sorry, Jeongyeon.” It was so quiet, Jeongyeon almost missed it. “I didn’t know Nayeon was here, and I shouldn’t have kissed you. I shouldn’t have kissed you regardless. I know you don’t like me in that way, and I’m okay with that, I don’t know what overtook me. I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m really sorry. I’m sorry I made things worse with Nayeon, I understand if you never forgive me. I’m sorry I’ve ruined our friendship, I really hope you don’t hate me, but I understand if you do.” Dahyun, now looking at the floor, rambled everything she had just rambled to Tzuyu a few minutes ago, as she stood crying in her arms. 

“Dahyun, I could never hate you.” Jeongyeon let Dahyun finish as much as she could, but as soon as she said that, she had to interrupt. Dahyun looked up, finally making eye contact with Jeongyeon. 

“But I-”

“Dahyun, I’m sorry I don’t feel the same way about you but I most certainly do not hate you.” This time she slowly lifted her hand and held Dahyun’s in hers softly. Dahyun didn’t shy away and instead welcomed her touch. “I think you are a wonderful person. You are so beautiful, both in and out. You’re an amazing nurse, and an incredible friend. I’ve said it before, and I will continue to say it, that you helped save my life, Dahyun. I consider you one of my closest friends, even though we’ve only known each other a few months, I could  _ never _ hate you. I love you, and I’m sorry if it’s not in the same way that you thought.” Jeongyeon held Dahyun’s hand tighter, rubbing the thumb on the back of her hand. “But I don’t ever want to lose you, and I could never hate you.”

“I didn’t mean to make things awkward between us. I know that our feelings will never be the same,” Dahyun let her hand sink into Jeongyeon hold. “I don’t know why-”

“You don’t have to explain, Dahyun,” Jeongyeon smiled at her. “Just promise me you won’t let things get awkward between us. I don’t want that. I don’t want to lose you.”

Dahyun smiled back at her. “Okay.”

“And if it isn’t too soon, I’d like to add more to my list of how wonderful you are,” Jeongyeon started.

“I’m always up for hearing how wonderful I am, please continue.” The awkward tension between them dissipated and the two were back to their goofy selves. 

“Even if it was only for a few seconds, you were a good kisser.” Jeongyeon bit back a smile and a laugh.

“Oh, yeah, that’s too soon,” Dahyun coughed a small laugh, dropping her hand from Jeongyeon’s, her eyes going wide with embarrassment. 

“Oh come on, I’m complimenting you!” Jeongyeon joked, pouting. “Oh wait, should I not pout?” Jeongyeon smirked. “I’m too irresistible when I pout, aren’t I?” She playfully pouted again, sticking her tongue out at Dahyun. 

“I’m never going to live this down, am I?” Dahyun asked, covering her face with her hands, feeling her cheeks get warmer again. Jeongyeon let out a loud laugh at her embarrassed friend, poking her in the arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is staying healthy and safe right now! Times are weird. But at least I'm able to get some writing done. Gonna try and make sure I'm updating more frequently so there some type of distraction. If you want to read more fics, I wrote a one-shot quarantine AU with enemies to lovers 2yeon, kinda to help me cope with my anxieties of what's going on, kinda because I've seen so much talk about quarantine AU's but have yet to actually see one written. So feel free to check that out.  
Anyway, follow me on socials @marksgasoline and feel free to leave comments here, there, or on my CC (also @marksgasoline). Love you all! Stay healthy!


	23. Scheming

Jihyo sat with Sana and Momo and watched as Jeongyeon and Dahyun laughed, and she smiled to herself. Now there was only one more relationship to fix, and it seemed to be the hardest one. And she knew she wasn’t alone in wanting to fix it. She made her way over to Chaeyoung who was standing in the kitchen with her girlfriend.

“Hey, Chaeyoung, can I talk with you for a minute?” Chaeyoung froze. She may have had an actress girlfriend, and she may have met a few idols here and there, including the idol duo Sana and Momo a few times, but nothing could have prepared her for THE Park Jihyo wanting to talk with her for a minute. 

“Uh, y-yeah, sure,” she stuttered, trying to quickly finish chewing the handful of chips she just shoved into her mouth. Jihyo started towards the other side of the kitchen, where no one was, and motioned for Chaeyoung to follow. Chaeyoung shrugged to Tzuyu with a shocked expression, and caught up to Jihyo.

“I know what you did,” Jihyo started. Chaeyoung’s eyes went wide. She wasn’t sure what she was referring to, but her adrenaline started pumping with nerves at the thought of Park Jihyo knowing what she did, whatever that may be. “And I think it was genius.” Chaeyoung let out a quiet sigh of relief, relaxing her shoulders, afraid Jihyo was mad at her for something she still wasn’t sure she did.

“Um, thanks, but I’m not exactly sure what you mean?” She furrowed her brows in confusion.

“With Nayeon and Jeongyeon. I know you got Nayeon to come here so her and Jeongyeon could talk. I think it was genius.”

“Ohh!” Chaeyoung felt a little excited that Jihyo approved of her plan. Her now failed plan. Her shoulders dropped. “Yeah, but it didn’t exactly work out…” Chaeyoung shook her head and looked down.

“Yet. I have an idea.” 

Chaaeyoung looked back up, interested, “I’m all ears.”

Xx

“Jihyo, I’m not coming to pick you up, ask someone else for a ride,” Nayeon argued into the phone. She was already back home, in her giant purple hoodie, curled on her couch, eating the ice cream she had hidden in her freezer. 

“Nayeoooon, pleaseeee,” Jihyo whined into the phone. She cringed at herself, hating when she had to act cute to get what she wanted, but she knew it always worked. Chaeyoung snickered from next to her and Jihyo slapped her arm sending her a glare. 

Nayeon groaned into the phone as a response. 

“I’ll buy you dinner!” Jihyo pleaded through her phone. “Pleeeeasseeee!”

“Jihyo, I’m not showing up there,” Nayeon sounded annoyed and Jihyo felt guilty, but not guilty enough as she continued to plead through the phone. 

“Nayeonnie, please, I have no other way home. I’ll give you a big hug!” Chaeyoung turned, her face red from holding back laughter. She never thought she’d be outside of her best friends apartment, scheming with Park Jihyo, and watching her act cute on the phone to get what she wanted. To be honest, she wasn’t that great at it, but maybe she could show her some tips, since Chaeyoung considered herself somewhat of a pro. 

“Jihyo, I can’t, I’m not going back there, I’m sorry.” Nayeon’s voice was softer now, less annoyed and more somber and defeated. Jihyo swore she heard her voice crack at one point. 

“I’ll meet you outside, I promise. Nayeon, my manager would kill me if I walked home drunk, and I can’t drive because we came together and you took my car. Everyone just about left. Please, Nayeon.” She stopped the cutesy act and instead just prayed Nayeon would listen to her.

“Meet me outside, I’m not coming in. I’m not even going in the parking lot. Just meet me by the street.” Nayeon’s voice was defeated and Jihyo suppressed the urge to celebrate. 

“Thank you, Nayeonieeeee!” Her voice went high pitch again. 

Nayeon hung up and Jihyo turned with two thumbs up to Chaeyoung. 

“She’s coming?” Chaeyoung asked, honestly a little shocked.

“Yes, but getting her inside will be a bit more difficult, as I expected.” They started back toward the apartment, finishing up plans.

“So phase two is a go,” Chaeyoung cheered. The two made their way back inside ready to start what Chaeyoung called phase two. She was hoping to get two birds with one stone with phase two, as she looked at Dahyun on the couch, Jeongyeon next to her, and Mina on the other side of her. Maybe she could get Dahyun and Mina together tonight as well. Tzuyu, Sana, and Momo sat in chairs across from them. Chaeyoung nodded to Jihyo before going over to her girlfriend and sitting on her lap. 

“Should I be nervous that my girlfriend left with Jihyo?” Tzuyu asked Chaeyoung quietly as she sat down. Tzuyu instinctively wrapped her arms around the smaller girl. 

“Never,” Chaeyoung turned and kissed Tzuyu’s cheek, wrapping her arms around her neck. “But, I will say I have a new scheming partner in crime.”

“And what’s that?” Tzuyu asked, pulling away. “Should I be worried?”

“You’ll see soon,” she kissed her cheek again. “But until then, I am all yours for the rest of the night.” She kissed her jawline and laid her head between Tzuyu’s neck and shoulder. 

“Get a room,” Jeongyeon threw an empty cup at them. Chaeyoung wiggled her eyebrows and Jeongyeom made a disgusted face, which made Tzuyu blush, only imagining what Chaeyoung did as a reply. She playfully slapped Chaeyoung’s arm that was wrapped around her.

Xx

Time seemed to pass slowly for Jihyo and Chaeyoung as they waited for phase two to start with a phone call from Nayeon saying she was here. 

The plan was simple in theory, but acting it out was what Chaeyoung worried about. Jihyo’s phone lit up with a text and she nodded to Chaeyoung, signaling the start of their plan. Jihyo got up, leaving her phone unopened and Nayeon unanswered, and went to the bathroom. Chaeyoung got up and took her spot, taking Jihyo’s phone with her.

She rested her legs across Tzuyu’s lap and held Jihyo’s phone close to her, waiting for Nayeon’s impatience to get the better of her and call. Tzuyu gave her a questioning look and Chaeyoung smiled innocently back at her. 

“You really don’t have to host this long, I can just call our manager for a ride,” Momo said to Mina, but Mina shook her head.

“No, no, you’re totally welcome to stay!” Mina said. She was enjoying this time with everyone.

“I'm glad we can merge our friend groups like this,” Tzuyu said. The girls all sat around, bonfire style, just with no bonfire, sharing stories of themselves and one another. Chaeyoung smiled up at Tzuyu, but was interrupted by Jihyo’s phone ringing in her hand. She jumped up.

“I should get Jihyo.” She ran to the bathroom and knocked, leaning in close to whisper, “The eagle has landed and is impatient.” Jihyo pulled her into the bathroom with her.

In her car, Nayeon tapped her steering wheel impatiently. Jihyo promised she’d meet her out here. Jihyo knew what had happened, and she was not going inside. If she didn’t come out in 2 more minutes, she was leaving. She sent her a third text and tried calling again. Finally there was an answer.

“Jihyo, where are you, you have 2 minutes to get down here or I’m leaving you here,” Nayeon said, annoyance filling her voice. 

“Nayeon? It’s Chaeng. Jihyo, um, kinda passed out,” Chaeyoung wasn’t good at lying, but she was sure good at acting. Maybe she’d get a role next to Tzuyu some day. She looked at Jihyo for approval of her lie and Jihyo just shrugged.

“Passed out? I was just on the phone with her!”

“Yeah, well, she kinda had a lot to drink tonight and passed out on the couch.”

“What the-fine, I’ll get her in the morning.” Nayeon turned her car back on.

“NO!” Chaeyoung yelled too quickly and caught herself. “No, no, just come up and get her.” She looked at Jihyo again, looking for advice. Jihyo just waved her hand to signal her to keep it up.

“I’m not coming up there, Chaeng, she’s fine on the couch for the night.” She pressed the brake and shifted her car into drive.

“But that’s where Tzuyu and I were going to sleep,” she tried to use her ‘puppy dog’ eyes even though she was only on the phone, her voice changed tones and she knew Nayeon would know the look she was giving her. Here’s hoping it worked through the phone as well as in person. 

“Chaeyoung, I’m sure you saw at least some of what happened. I can’t-” her voice faltered. “I’m  _ not  _ going up there.” Nayeon’s voice never sounded so harsh.

“Nayeon, I know, but she’s in her room, please, I’ll help you carry her down.” Chaeyoung pleaded. She started regretting this plan, she’s never heard Nayeon so angry before. She wasn’t sure what actually happened between Nayeon and Jeongyeon an hour prior, but seeing how Nayeon stormed out, leaving Jeongyeon on the floor, and hearing her voice now, she knew it couldn’t have been good. Maybe she shouldn’t be meddling in their business anymore. But it was too late now. Plus, if she didn’t, they would never talk again. She was doing this for them. 

“Chaeng…” Nayeon turned her car back off but didn’t take her seatbelt off, or her hand off the keys still slightly in the ignition. 

“Please, Nayeon. I don’t know what happened, but Jihyo just needs a ride home.”

Nayeon grumbled an incoherent response, something along the lines of “Why even bother?” and Chaeyoung could hear the car door open. 

“I’ll meet you up here, Nayeon!” She hung up and gave a thumbs up to Jihyo. Phase three was beginning and it had to happen quickly. “Okay, so how do we get everyone out of here except for Jeongyeon?” Chaeyoung asked. 

“As long as we’re not in the same room, it’ll work. Have you ever watched Friends? That one episode where Ross and Rachel finally talk and everyone else is locked in Monica’s room?” It was a stupid analogy, and Jihyo knew it, but she had just watched that episode the other night before bed, so it was fresh in her mind. Luckily Chaeyoung nodded. “Except we’ll need you on the other side of the apartment door to keep them locked in.”

“Perfect, you’re some kind of genius, Jihyo.” Jihyo rolled her eyes and opened the bathroom door.

“Hey, guys, come here real quick, Chaeyoung is stuck. Jeongyeon, you can stay, rest your leg.” It was stupid, but at this point, Jihyo was tired, and she couldn’t think of any other way to get the five of them seperated from Jeongyeon. Somehow, it worked. The five girls stood up from the couch and went over to Jihyo, who was now standing between the bathroom and Mina’s bedroom. 

“Where is she stuck?” Tzuyu started to ask, a bit concerned, but a knock at the door interrupted her.

“Who is-” Mina started but Chaeyoung ran past her. 

“I got it!”

Everyone watched with puzzled looks, Tzuyu the most, knowing one of Chaeyoung’s schemes was happening, but not knowing what it was. 

“I thought you were stuck-” Mina started to ask..

Chaeyoung opened the door and let Nayeon in, and as soon as she did, Jihyo pushed everyone into Mina’s room, ignoring their protests, shushing them in the process.

“Right over there,” Chaeyoung pointed, letting Nayeon walk past her, then turning and leaving the apartment, closing the door behind her, holding the door handle.

“Chaeyoung?” Nayeon turned around, then back to where Chaeyoung pointed. It wasn’t Jihyo passed out on the couch that she saw, but instead it was Jeongyeon playing a game on her phone. “Chaeyoung!” Her voice was louder now as she turned to open the door. Chaeyoung may be small, but she was strong and held the door shut. Nayeon had gotten the door open enough to send a death glare to Chaeyoung.

“Nope, you’re not coming out until you talk to her!” Chaeyoung yelled, slamming the door back closed. 

Nayeon cursed under her breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if anyone noticed the chapter numbers, but this is coming to an end soon. I have the finally chapters written, just need to do some editing. So there's something to look forward to in these strange times. I hope everyone is staying healthy! <3  
Socials @marksgasoline cc @marksgasoline


	24. You Were My Happiness

Over on the couch, Jeongyeon froze. She dropped her phone when she heard Nayeon’s voice, watching it fall off the couch, but refused to turn around. They did it to her again. She sighed and closed her eyes tight. She desperately needed new friends. 

Inside the bedroom, Momo spoke first, “Jihyo, what the hell?” She looked wide eyed at her friend who had just shoved all of them into a room. 

At the same time, Mina tried to open the door of her room and saw Nayeon fighting with the door to the apartment.

“Jihyo, you didn’t?” She asked, closing the door quietly, and turning back around. 

Jihyo just shrugged. “I’ve heard Chaeyoung has pretty good plans.”

Mina put her head in her hands then ran her hands through her hair. “Never scheme with Chaeyoung.”

Realization hit Tzuyu. “Jeongyeon’s still out there isn’t she?” She asked quietly, all the pieces coming together now.

Mina and Jihyo nodded, though both had very different moods to match their nods.

“And that’s Nayeon I hear isn’t it?” Tzuyu asked again. Both girls nodded in reply, Mina’s nod looking very defeated. “Ahh…” Tzuyu sighed in understanding. This is what Chaeng was up to with Jihyo then. She just hoped it didn’t backfire like her last plan, or like most of Chaeng’s plans usually did. 

“I’m not talking to her, Chaeyoung, now let me out!” Nayeon yelled as she continued to pull on the door. She was aware that Jeongyeon could probably hear her, but she didn’t care. Anytime she got the door opened, Chaeyoung would push her back inside. She was tired and she prayed that this would work soon, before her arms gave out. Nayeon did everything she could to avoid turning around and seeing Jeongyeon.

Back on the couch, Jeongyeon could hear Nayeon behind her. She took a deep breath as Jihyo’s words played through her head. She needed to talk to her. She hated that they did this to her, yet again, but in a way, they were right, she had to talk to her. So she stood up and using the back of the couch and the walls for support, she made her way over to Nayeon. 

“Nayeon,” her voice was quiet, but Nayeon heard it and stopped fighting with Chaeyoung on the other side of the door. 

“Screw this,” she hit her fists to the door and stormed away in the opposite direction. 

“Nayeon, please, can we talk?” Jeongyeon pleaded, following her with her eyes but not her feet.

“Where’s your girlfriend, why don’t you just go talk with her?” Nayeon spat back, stopping in her tracks and facing Jeongyeon for the first time since she returned. The two stood a good distance apart.

“Nayeon, she’s not-”

“Save it,” she threw her hands up. “You can keep me locked in here all you want, but I’m not talking.” She turned around and walked towards the one room she knew; Jeongyeon’s. She opened the door and locked herself inside, freezing when she saw everything still in place. 

Jeongyeon, hesitant to follow her at first, froze as well outside of her door. She faced the closed door in front of her and waited for a minute, taking a deep breath, before she turned the handle and walked in. 

“Nayeon,” she started.

“I spent every night crying myself to sleep, do you know that?” Nayeon said, facing opposite of her. “I couldn’t even enjoy my debut because of you. I wanted to call you every night, just to ask how you were doing. Were you walking yet? Were you healing well? Were they treating you well? Did you eat enough?” She shook her head as she continued, turning around to face her now. “You threw everything away, just like that. Everything we had. Why, Jeongyeon?” Her eyes scrunched in question. “I just wanted to be by your side, was that so bad?” Nayeon was crying now, tears easily visible dropping down her cheek. Jeongyeon hated when Nayeon cried, and hated it more now because she caused it. Tears stabbed the back of her own eyes, but she held them back. This was her fault. “Was it really so bad that I loved you so much that I wanted to stay with you, even at the expense of my debut? Am I really that repulsing?”

“Nayeon, that’s not-” Jeongyeon took a step towards Nayeon, wanting to just hug her and hold her. To apologize for everything and have her back, but Nayeon stepped back defensively, backing away from her. 

“I don’t get it.” Nayeon shook her head, speaking more so to herself, but it was so quiet in Jeongyeon’s room, Jeongyeon could almost hear Nayeon’s breathing. She wasn’t sure if she heard Nayeon’s heartbeat as well or if it was just her own. The two kept a gap between each other, Jeongyeon frozen in place and Nayeon rooted in her anger. Nayeon looked around the room. “You know, I had this big surprise for you when they finally cleared you.” She paused for a minute, debating with herself if she should continue. “I was going to take you out to your favourite restaurant, order your favourite meal, then bring you back home, back to your room, where every day I made sure the flowers were watered, and got new balloons when they started deflating.” She looked around at the dead flowers and deflated balloons. “I was going to bring you back to your room, shower you with gifts and my love, and right when you’d think there couldn’t be anymore, I was going to give you this. I hid it in here,” she turned around and went to Jeongyeon’s dresser, in the top left drawer where Nayeon had some clothes, and pulled out a small velvet box. “I hid it so I wouldn’t cave and give it to you too soon.” Biting her bottom lip, she opened the box and took out a silver ring with what Jeongyeon saw had a beautiful diamond in the middle of an infinity loop and what looked like smaller gems on either side. Nayeon twirled the ring in her fingers, admiring it, reminiscing the mood she had when she had first put the ring here. Jeongyeon’s breath caught in her throat. “So much for that, huh?” She swallowed the lump in her throat.

Jeongyeon was speechless. Her breathing became staggered as she continued to try and fight off her tears, losing more with every second that passed, until she couldn’t fight it anymore. Her tears spilled and her legs gave out and she fell to her knees for the second time that night. She cried into her hands on the floor.

“I’m so sorry, Nayeon. I never wanted this. I never wanted to lose you. I was so afraid that I would be the reason for your unhappiness. That I was causing you extra stress. That I was just a burden. That I would be the reason you’d delay your debut or give up your dream. That I was ruining everything. I just wanted you to be happy. Your happiness was all that mattered to me-”

“But Jeongyeon,  _ you _ were my happiness. Not my debut, not music, not anything else. You were. How could you think I wanted anything more than you being healthy and a part of my life?” Nayeon stayed where she was, afraid to get too close to Jeongyeon. The ring stayed in her hand as she stared at the girl she once loved, the girl she still loved, in front of her. She wiped a tear away with the back of her hand. Now it was her turn to control her tears. 

“Nayeon, I never wanted to hurt you.”

“Well you did.” She put the ring on Jeongyeon’s dresser softly, but it sounded like the loudest thing to Jeongyeon. Maybe it was the sound of her heart breaking that made it so much louder. Nayeon walked away from the dresser, towards the door, stopping right next to Jeongyeon. “Tell me, Jeongyeon? Did you fall for that nurse before or after you dumped me? I just need to know.” She looked at Jeongyeon, hiding her pain behind an emotionless gaze. 

“No, no, Nayeon I never, I didn’t even know she liked me, I didn’t-” Jeongyeon rambled on as Nayeon just nodded and walked towards the door again. 

“You can keep the ring, it was engraved for you anyway.” She put her hand on the doorknob and turned it. Jeongyeon used all her strength to get to her feet and run to Nayeon, grabbing her hand to stop her from leaving. 

“Nayeon please,” she begged. Nayeon just shook her head and shrugged Jeongyeon’s hand off of hers, opening the door and walking out. Everyone was now out of Mina’s room, close to Jeongyeon’s door, clearly trying to overhear what was going on. Nayeon just looked at all of them and scoffed, pursing her lips. Her jaw clenched when she saw Dahyun in the middle of all of them. She shoved her way through and walked towards the door to the apartment again. 

“Wait, Nayeon.” This time it was Dahyun who stopped her. Nayeon had half a mind to punch her. But she didn’t. She’s an idol, she couldn’t have that reputation. “It was me who kissed Jeongyeon. She didn’t kiss back. I don’t even know why I did it.” Nayeon scoffed again. “I spent a lot of time with Jeongyeon in the hospital, I got to know her on a deep emotional level-” Nayeon rolled her eyes at Dahyun’s words. She didn’t want to listen anymore. She shrugged out of Dahyun’s grasp and tried to turn to the exit again. “Please listen!” Dahyun pleaded as Nayeon walked away. “I learned a lot about Jeongyeon, but the one thing that I knew without her having to even tell me, was how much she loved you.” Nayeon stopped finally and listened. She didn’t turn around, but stayed in her place, listening. “I was there that night when it happened. And I was there every day after that. I saw how much she missed you. How much she still does.” Dahyun suppressed the urge to look back at Jeongyeon and instead went on. “Nayeon, she never lost those feelings towards you. She still loves you, and only you.” Dahyun took a step towards Nayeon in the hallway. “She told me everyday, and not just with her words. I can see it in her.” She reached out and placed a hand on Nayeon’s shoulder. “She still loves you.”

Nayeon turned to face her at her words, the anger she expressed to her earlier was now subdued, and left with something Dahyun couldn’t quite place. Sorrow maybe? Regret? Love?

“I’m sorry,” Dahyun whispered. 

Behind Dahyun, Nayeon could see Jeongyeon standing in her bedroom doorway. She saw what Dahyun was talking about. What she should have realized never left. What Nayeon knew was in Jeongyeon for ages but was too hurt to let herself see it still. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please ignore any typos or issues, I edited this on 4 hours of sleep and I can't really see straight. I stayed up until 5am reading that Minayeon single mom angst au and I'm still trying to process it. If you want more angst, I definitely recommend reading it! And if you want to suffer more, watch The Light by The Ark afterwards.  
Speaking of music to listen to with au's, I have finished my playlist for this and I have the last chapter rough draft, so look forward to it!  
Thank you to everyone reading this and supporting me! ily all!   
socials @marksgasoline


	25. My Love, My Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a playlist for this au, there's a song per chapter. you can listen to it here https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLT0P6xaLAIl5su78qTDTUp5SCqCcMcOit

Nayeon stayed in the hallway, looking past everyone else, locking her eyes with Jeongyeon. It’s like everyone else, everything else, was gone, and the only thing that remained was Jeongyeon. The world around her faded away. Dahyun walked back inside and guided everyone else making their way back into Mina’s room, leaving the two of them alone, again.

Mina turned to Chaeyoung when they got in her room, walking to the furthest part of her room, away from Dahyun. “She kissed her?” She mouthed to her. Chaeyoung shrugged, just as shocked. Mina’s face couldn’t hide disappointment. Chaeyoung went over to her and held her hand quietly. 

Tzuyu stood with Dahyun and squeezed her shoulder. “I’m proud of you,” she whispered.

“I now understand where Jeongyeon was coming from, doing whatever it took for Nayeon to be happy.” Dahyun sighed. “All you want is for the one you love to be happy, you don’t care how much it hurts you. Jeongyeon deserves happiness and Nayeon is that for her. Not me.”

“You’re just a different type of happiness for her, Dahyun.” Tzuyu glanced up and saw Chaeng holding Mina’s hand, comforting her the way Tzuyu was with Dahyun. More puzzle pieces started to fall in place as she saw Mina sneak a glance at Dahyun, something resembling sadness filling her eyes. “Hey, Dubs. Don’t give up on love, yeah?” She looked back down at her shorter friend. Dahyun just leaned into her, letting Tzuyu hold her. 

Sana and Momo stood with Jihyo, asking questions on what was going on. Throughout the night, they had pieced together some clues. They knew Nayeon and Jeongyeon had some romantic issues, but without anyone telling them more than that, it left the duo confused. All they knew was that as a trainee, Nayeon was in a committed relationship and worried every day that her being an idol would ruin it. They didn’t know who it was, but now they were piecing things together.

“I met Nayeon right after they broke up. It wasn’t pretty.” Jihyo answered. “You know her debut party?” She asked.

“Is that why she was so wasted?” Momo asked.

“It played a big part in it, yeah.” Jihyo nodded. 

“Why bring Nayeon back here then, if it’s only causing her pain?” Sana asked.

“They both gave up too easily, and regretted it. But neither one would admit to it, not to each other anyway.” Chaeyoung made her way back over, hearing their conversation. 

From the other side of the door, they could hear the faint sounds of talking again. So slowly, Chaeyoung opened the door a crack to get a better view.

Back outside of the bedroom, and inside the apartment, Nayeon slowly walked back into the doorway. 

“Nayeon...” Jeongyeon said softly. Her voice was still defeated, but she couldn’t help but be a little grateful that she was coming back inside. Whatever Dahyun said to her, she’d have to thank her for later. Hopefully. If this all worked out as she was anticipating. She didn’t hold her breath on it though, why would it all work out for her? 

Nayeon just bit her lip in response. 

“Nayeon, I never stopped loving you. I never stopped missing you. I never stopped regretting what I did.” Jeongyeon took a shaky step towards Nayeon.

“Then why? Why did you tell me to leave?” Nayeon asked again. Her voice was equally as shaky as she took a step closer to her. 

“I told myself your happiness was more important to me.” Jeongyeon took another shaky step.

“Did you ever think maybe I wasn’t happy?” Nayeon took two slow steps toward Jeongyeon. She was holding her hands together, trying not to express the anxiety she was feeling. 

“I thought your debut was more important than my happiness.” Another step.

“I couldn’t have cared less about my debut when I knew you were still in pain.” There were now only a few feet separating the two of them. 

“I wanted to call you.” Jeongyeon spoke up, taking another step.

“I wanted to call you too.” A step.

“I thought you hated me.” Step.

“I thought I did too.” Nayeon’s feet now touched the tips of Jeongyeon’s. “But it wasn’t real. I never hated you. I hated that I missed you and that I didn’t fight harder to stay.” She reached her hand up to Jeongyeon’s face, cupping it in her palm. Jeongyeon leaned into her touch. A touch she’s missed. 

“I’m sorry.” Jeongyeon said, afraid of making eye contact, afraid this would all just go away again, afraid Nayeon would still leave. Nayeon rubbed her thumb across Jeongyeon’s cheek in response. Jeongyeon leaned further into her hand and closed her eyes. “I love you, Nayeon. I never stopped. I never will.” 

Nayeon’s other hand cupped the other side of Jeongyeon’s face and she leaned in, placing her lips gingerly on the lips she’s missed. “I love you, Jeongyeon,” she said against the younger’s lips. A tear slipped from her eye and she leaned forward, resting their foreheads together. Jeongyeon reached up and wiped the tear away for her. 

From the other side of the room, a sniffle broke their moment. Both girls turned to see everyone standing in Mina’s doorway, watching them through a half opened door. Chaeyoung, eyes wide, bit her lips together, clearly the culprit. 

“Sorry, continue,” she held her hands up and took a step backwards, hiding behind Tzuyu. 

Jeongyeon couldn’t stop the small giggle that passed through her lips just as Nayeon couldn’t stop the smile forming on hers. The two soon erupted into a small fit of smiles and laughs. 

“I’ve missed you so much,” Jeongyeon said, holding on to Nayeon. 

“Promise me you’ll never leave me again,” Nayeon looked into Jeongyeon’s eyes, almost like she was searching, begging. 

“Never. In this lifetime or the next. I’m forever yours, Nayeon.” Jeongyeon closed the small gap between them and kissed her again with a smile still on her lips. “And that’s a promise,” she said against her lips.

“Should I get the ring to make it official?” Nayeon asked. Jeongyeon’s eyes went wide, her voice catching in her throat. Nayeon beamed up a smile at her and went into Jeongyeon’s room, only dropping Jeongyeon’s hand at the last second, not wanting to let go of her for more time than she had to. She walked in to grab the ring she left on the dresser. The one with the three diamonds, that was Jeongyeon’s size. The one that said “My Love, My Life” engraved on the inside of the infinity loop. She admired it and smiled, walking back to Jeongyeon, who’s eyes were still wide, but now wet with what Nayeon could only hope were no longer sad tears. 

“Nayeon-”

“Shh,” she shushed Jeongyeon as she dropped to one knee. She could hear the girls from the other room gasp. There was a slap and she could only assume that Chaeyoung slapped Mina’s arm in excitement. She could almost see the looks on all of their faces, but she refused to look away from Jeongyeon. She spent too much time away from her, she didn’t want to ever look away from her face again. “Yoo Jeongyeon, my love, my life,” she swallowed an anxious lump in her throat. “Will you be mine, forever?” 

Jeongyeon held out her hand with the brightest smile she’s had for months. “Of course, you idiot. I just made that promise.” Nayeon rolled her eyes at Jeongyeon, who naturally had to ruin the sweet moment with a joke, but her smile never faltered. She had missed this. She had missed her. Jeongyeon let Nayeon slide the ring on her finger and she pulled Nayeon back up to her feet so she could kiss her. The cheers from the other room could have, and probably did, wake up their neighbors, forgetting it was now close to 2 in the morning. But the two didn’t break apart. Nothing would break them apart. Never again.

“So I believe a thank you is in order.” Chaeyoung started to walk over to them. “I’m some sort of love guru. The next cupid if you will. Maybe I should make that my side job,” Chaeyoung paused in her tracks to look up at nothing in particular, contemplating a potential new job she had just created for herself. Tzuyu playfully slapped her arm, but she ignored it. “Hey, want me to do your love life next, Mina?” She wiggled her eyebrows at Mina and not so subtly pointed her gaze to Dahyun, jutting her head out as if she was pointing to her.

Mina blushed and hid her face from Dahyun who was now looking at her.

“So, Dahyun. Mina huh? She’s pretty cool, don’t you think? Very pretty too.” Chaeyoung started to walk towards Dahyun until Tzuyu stopped her.

“I think that’s enough for the night, Chaeng,” she said softly, pulling Chaeyoung to her.

“What? I’m working my magic. I told you, I’m a love guru. I mean, look at these two! I knew they’d be back together by the end of the night!” She pointed at Nayeon and Jeongyeon who were still in each other's arms. 

Tzuyu just shook her head with a chuckle. “Come here, my love guru.” 

“You can just feel the love in this place, can’t you babe?” Chaeyoung asked, now standing in Tzuyu’s arms. 

Tzuyu bent down to kiss her much shorter girlfriend. “Mmhm,” she muttered against her lips.

Behind her, Sana and Momo shared a kiss, also feeling the love in the apartment. 

Mina chanced a glance at Dahyun, and looked away when she noticed they made eye contact. Dahyun smiled at her.

Jihyo stood behind everyone, watching, and smiling. 

In the center of the room, Nayeon and Jeongyeon stood, still holding one another, vowing to never let go. 

“Hey, now that we’re engaged, can I get my purple hoodie back?” Jeongyeon asked, pointing to the giant purple hoodie Nayeon was still wearing. 

“What’s yours is mine,” Nayeon smiled, placing a kiss on Jeongyeon’s chin before running away. Jeongyeon lunged forward, grabbing her arm to stop her. She really missed this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I want to say a big thank you to everyone who read this and supported me throughout all of this! Without you, all the kudos, all the comments, I would have never finished this! So really, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Ily you all.   
As much as I love writing angst, and you've all probably learned that by now, I wanted to make sure this had a happy ending.   
I hope everyone stays happy and healthy <3  
Follow me on twt @marksgasoline


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